Am I selfish?

[TheManicMummy]

I have a 2 year old boy and one year old girl, both born on the same day just a year apart. My boy has some behaviour issues.

He is very hyperactive and destructive. He has meltdowns, also has a funny relationship with food, throws his food at every meal. A lot of his behaviour is very purposeful and attention seeking. He loves praise and engages with us a lot and is currently under a behaviour therapist.

I've just found out I'm pregnant again. Naturally I'm panicked. How will he cope with another baby in the house? My daughter is the total opposite and extremely well behaved and I think she would cope absolutely fine. I worry that another baby will make my boys behaviour much much worse?

We're in a desperate situation right now where he won't walk anywhere, throws toys at babygroups, goes from one naughty destructive thing to the next with no break. What do I do? Am I selfish for having another child when I have all these problems with my toddler ??

No you're not being selfish.

It sounds like you need some support though. Have you tried asking your GP for advice or a referral to a child psychologist, to get some professional advice on how to manage your son's behaviour?

He's currently undergoing sessions with a behaviour therapist/speech therapist/ and they are reviewing my son for autism/ADHD.

Thankfully I'm really open and any support they offer I do take. I have a lady from the children's centre who pops in every week to my house to see my son and me. I'm really pleased how much help I'm getting with him.

I'm just really worried another baby in the house would stress him out, make his behaviour worse. I wouldn't be thinking twice about having this baby if he my son didn't have these issues... I'm just panicked that I'm not considering his needs/wants.

I haven't got an issue with looking after all three of them, that's fine, I'm just worried about making my son worse :( xx

The chances are he'll grow out of it, unless it's Autism but even then you'll learn to manage it. Either way it will become easier with time and you'll all adapt to another member of the family. You're not being selfish at all! X

Are you ok Facebook? My cousin has 2 autistic children and runs a registered charity (which has a group on Facebook) called "the whole autism family" even if your son doesn't turn out to have autism it's still some extra support and you could pick up some help and tips on managing his behaviour.

Thank you so much for replying! I have requested to join the group, couldntve come at a better time really as today has been quite tough! Xxx

Oh good!! My cousin and his wife run it together and have 5 children 2 with autism and the youngest child being only a couple of months. There's always lots of help and advice being posted! I hope you can find it useful/helpful xx