Pregnant and scared

[Gracey1231]

Hello everyone
I have just found out I'm pregnant to a man I am not in a relationship with, I'm 21 and in my second year at university, I was on the contraceptive injection but it's failed me here.
I'm so scared that I'll be a rubbish mum, is being a single parent really hard? Will I get more support and stuff. So scared:( please hold my hand

First things first: go to your GP if you haven't already.

More things you should consider:

• go to Citizens Advice. They should be able to inform you of benefits you may be entitled to, and rights/etc related to the baby's father.
• speaking to a student welfare officer at uni, or the medical clinic, or counselling services. You will not be the first person to have gotten pregnant during their undergrad. Ask about a medical interruption of studies (aka mat leave for students).

There is support out there, but you may have to look for it. Google your area followed by 'mum clubs' or similar.

If you want (and it's totally your choice and no one can tell you otherwise, not even your family or the baby's father), you could consider an abortion. Ask your GP, or contact BPAS or Marie Stopes. If you want to keep the baby, contact Gingerbread, they're a single parents charity who may be able to point you in the right direction as regards to resources.

Loads of pregnant women are scared about becoming mums; I had a huge cry yesterday thinking how can I cope with a baby if I can't defrost a fishcake properly. It's ok to be scared and worried. What's not ok is not reaching out for help.

You're going to be ok.

Hi Gracey,

Just letting you know you're not on your own. I'm 20 (21 early next year), a 3rd year uni student and just did a pregnancy test this morning - positive. I'm not in the same position as you relationship-wise but mine is complicated too. I've only been with my boyfriend for 5 months and he's just started a full-time job and lives in a completely different city than me. I haven't told him yet, I'm planning to at the weekend when I can go and see him, but I think he'll probably want me to get an abortion. I don't know what to do.

Just know you're not alone and we can always chat. Children are wonderful but they're difficult too, so make sure you chat to people - counselor, student rep, friends, parents, doctor, other pregnant students - and make sure you make the right decision.

Much love x Bex