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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How far would you go to get a child of the "desired" sex?

19 replies

lizabet · 12/02/2007 20:52

Just wondering really. After DD i had 2 boys. DD was desperate for a sister so tried again - had twin boys!!!! She's really not happy about it, am considering whether to try again. What does anyone think?

OP posts:

colditz · 12/02/2007 20:53

I think if you are likely to be disappointed at all with a boy you shouldn't do this.

Original poster

lizabet · 12/02/2007 20:57

Another boy wouldn't bother me in the slightest. But DD is another matter!!!!

OP posts:

PeachyClairColouredRoses · 12/02/2007 20:59

Hmm

have 3 boys

would like another baby, would be chuffed to bits if a girl BUT the wanting the baby is the importsnt thing imo

colditz · 12/02/2007 21:00

She probably wouldn't even like having a sisiter any more than having a brother. Kids are fickle

expatinscotland · 12/02/2007 21:00

Not very far. B/c it doesn't matter to us so long as the child is alive and with us.

pinkbubble · 12/02/2007 21:01

I have 3 DDs and tbh I wouldnt have another child just to see if I could have a DS for my daughter(even though my DH is the last male of his surname alive) You have to have children because you want them not for what sex they may be- IMO as long as they are fit and healthy AMEN

Clare123 · 12/02/2007 21:01

I don't understand why anyone would have another a baby if they DON'T want a particular sex, there is 50% you will have that sex.

bumperlicious · 12/02/2007 21:01

We loosely tried the Hazel Chesterman-Philips book, 'choose the sex of your baby naturally'. The book is pretty poorly written and doesn't offer any evidence for it's methods, so we got a bit fed up after a while. But I think the principles behind it (time of conception in cycle and sperm temp, and partly diet) are cited elsewhere if you check out the internet. We've yet to find out whether it works
I think you should only try again if you are prepared to have another child regardless of sex.

A word to the wise to you DD I have a younger sister and it's never been all it's cracked up to be! I don't have any childhood toys left because sis ruined them ALL. Even now, I'm 25 and she's 19 and she's a brat and absolutely unreasonable! I say better the devil you know!

lulumama · 12/02/2007 21:02

don;t think your daughter's desire for a sister should override your desire for more children or not, as the case may be, have another child, because you want a child, regardless of gender.....

gemmiegoatlegs · 12/02/2007 21:04

I have a ds, now a dd. It drove me bonkers when people said "oh, one of each, you must be over the moon".
Well, actually, I couldn't give a toss, nor could dh (after all he already had a son for football etc) or the kids themselves.
It's all ballbags.

lulumama · 12/02/2007 21:05

FWIW..as has been said, kids are fickle.

I got pregnant with DD when DS was 5, he asked for a brother, i told him you get what you are given, he was really upset when we found out we were having a girl , to the point of sobbing and asking me if she would grow a willy, pretty much until the day she was born

....in the end he chose her name , and says that he is glad he has a sister, and if we have another baby, he wants another sister !

you do get what you are give, some things cannot be chosen and demanded, and that is a fairly good life lesson i think!

pinkbubble · 12/02/2007 21:06

I have a friend who had DS DD DS DS(that died at CB) DS and DS. You cannot gaurantee you will have a girl no matter how many times you keep trying and what will happen, say you do decide to have a baby and it turns out to be another boy- when will you stop!

Mycupoverrunswithlove · 12/02/2007 21:06

you shouldn't be doing this for your dd, as some one else says, what would you do if she changes her mind once you have a dd, if you do.
I speak as some one who desperately wanted a daughter, but have 3 beautiful dss instead

BabyMadwithBump · 13/02/2007 09:03

My mother just kept trying and trying, I'm one of ten, there was me and then my 8 brothers followed and then I now have a four year old sister, because there is 22 year between us she feels more like a friends baby/child rather than my sister. Each time my mother had a baby and it was a boy "oh it's a boy better luck next time" even though my brothers were perfect, health and so sweet she never wanted them she wanted a girl and that was it! So she kept trying, the worse thing about it my brother know they wasn't wanted just because they were boys, breaks my heart I have two beautiful boys myself and would never swap them for a girl in a million years and I'm now PG with my 3rd and DH wants a girl I keep going mad at him all I want is a health happy baby weather it be a girl or boy, having three boys would be a god send, as it would be 2 two and a girl!

SSShakeTheChi · 13/02/2007 09:10

I think if I'd had 5 pregnancies (and births!), I would say I'd done my best and call it a day.

SSShakeTheChi · 13/02/2007 09:10

oops see that was 4 pregnancies

Pruni · 13/02/2007 09:15

Message withdrawn

DetentionGrrrl · 13/02/2007 09:51

i think it's sad that some parents are so set on a particular gender that they end up disappointed with their child when it arrives and it's 'wrong'. (Not saying that you're one of them)

I mentioned to FIL that i wanted 3 kids, and he said 'what do you want 3 for? Well, i suppose if you didn't have one of each...' I'm going to love my babies whatever they may be, and just be grateful that they are fit and healthy! FIL then told me about a man he knew who'd kept having more kids because he hadn't had a son, and ended up with 5 daughters. I bet his daughters felt really special.

BTW- when i was 9 i wanted a sister, and i am the oldest of four- three younger brothers. The feeling passed as soon as i saw my baby brother, i didn't care that he wasn't a girl after all.

Aero · 13/02/2007 10:07

I'm going to go a little against the grain lizbet as I see where you're coming from. Part of me would like another child (I have three already), and for the sake of dd, it would be lovely if it were a girl (assuming I went ahead that is, but I'm not ready yet). I remember the day my sister was born after my two brothers and it was my dreams come true.

But, by the same token, even as a child, I dearly loved my little brother when he was the second boy and I guess if my sis had been a boy, I'd have felt the same. Perhaps I'd have felt initial disappointment at having a third brother, but then I'd have fallen in love with the 'baby'. I was 10 at the time. My dd is now six with two brothers. The thing is, I'd love my baby, whatever it was, but somehow, if it were a sister for dd, I couldn't help feeling delighted for her. I also think that if we ever do have a fourth (not assuming we will at this stage, despite me getting on a bit) though she would fall in love with the 'baby', should it be girl or boy. But I do understand what you mean.

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