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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Are we crazy having three?

85 replies

99redballoons · 12/02/2007 11:57

It was a big decision for us as we're very comfortable with two and weren't quite sure if we could afford three, but we just couldn't help ourselves and thought we'd just go for it and see if it happened. We thought six months of trying and we'll accept whatever happens. Low and behold we're pregnant the first time of trying (this has never happened before for us, usually atleast 7 months!). So we were surprised but pleasantly so.

Everyone we encounter seems to say "was it planned"..."are you surprised"..."how do you feel about three"... And no-one has just said "how lovely for you".

Is having three really such a brave (?) thing to do? Will having three really change our lives that much? (must admit the money side of it does worry me, but money isn't everything right?!) With all these comments I'm starting to feel like, what have we done?? Was it really the right thing to do? Reassuring comments needed

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

eviletc · 12/02/2007 14:12

congrats 99! was only lurking on this thread and obviously families are all different but i found going from 2 to 3 was really ok. ds and dd1 are actually dss and dsd so i never did just 1 iyswim. there is a 7 year gap between ds and dd2 and a 4 year gap between the dds. and so far it isn't that much more expensive as poor dd2 has all the old toys and clothes that are still good from the other 2! plus she is a very chilled and flexible baby which i'm sure is down to her big brother and sister
good luck and congrats again

oooggs · 12/02/2007 14:13

we were ttc no2 and are now due twins in April and people ask us if '3' was planned

nappyaddict · 12/02/2007 14:34

i always wanted 3 or 4. people are always shocked by this - especially by me wanting 4! already have a ds and ideally i would like 2 dds and perhaps another ds. if only it worked like this!

auntymandy · 12/02/2007 15:16

I get 'was it a suprise' when people find out I am expecting again!! But it is no 6!!!

WestCountryLass · 12/02/2007 21:28

I am PG with 3rd and we have had the same comments about whether it was planned or not

poppiesinaline · 12/02/2007 21:44

I traisped into local butchers over the Christmas hols (normally I only have no 3 with me). The butcher looked at my 3 and then looked at me and said

"Are they all yours???! Crikey, you're brave!"

to which I replied

"No, just mad"

GinGirl · 13/02/2007 08:42

If you are crazy having three, then my mother is three times as crazy as any of you!

(Thats nine of us, for those who struggle with Maths in the early morning! )

Wilbur · 13/02/2007 10:05

I got a lot of blank looks when we announced we were expecting the third, mainly because we already had a boy and a girl and lots of people just though you only went for three when you had a matched pair already and wanted one of the opposite sex. WTF? So our comments we more along the lines of why would we need a third? LOL. Anyway, ds2 is a complete joy and I couldn't imagine life without him, but yes, it IS hard work. I think the phase I am in now (ds2 is 18 months, dd is nearly 4 and ds1 is just 6) is extra tough because of the school factor - dd is at nursery half days and ds1 is there full days so I have three pick ups a day and bundling ds2 into the pushchair or car that often is a pain and I do get pretty frazzled with it all. Still, it will only be like this until the end of this school year so although having three brings its own challenges, they are usually short-lived ones. And they can be quite funny - here's a classic three kids story: Ds1 and dd were fighting before bathtime (no change there then). Ds1 was being particularly horrid so after refereeing them and getting dd to calm down, I sat down to talk seriously to ds1 for a few minutes. We had a good talk and I felt, unusually for me, like a good communicative mummy who can sort thing out without shouting. When I got back to the bathroom, however, I found that ds2 has put everything he could lay his hands on - his pjs, dd's pjs, the bathmat, his nappy, all the toys, the toothpaste, the shampoo, a bit of spare carpet that had been lurking on the landing, two books and some crayons - in the bath. All soaked. Took me 20 mins to clear up, run a new bath etc by which time ds1 and dd were fighting again. Sigh. There's a lot of that with three, or there is in my house, and you just have to laugh.

Winston · 13/02/2007 10:10

Congratulations 99redballoons! Fab news and any pregnancy whether its your first or 10th child is a blessing and aslong as you feel you can love another baby thats all that counts. I have 2 DD and feel thats it for me but only because I feel I am struggling. DD2 FAR more difficult than DD1 so for me thats my sign to stop. Deep down I am sad as loved having my girls. Have friends with 3 children and NOT ONE has ever said they wished they hadnt had the third, infact, they all said they would go on to have more! Good luck with the pregnancy and dont let the buggers grind you down.
PS! And no, money isnt everything. Health and happiness is.

peacemakeruk · 13/02/2007 10:14

I can't believe that anyone thinks there's anything wrong with having 3 children in you so choose. Whats the big deal and what has it got to do with anyone else? I'm 26 weeks with my 3rd and have had no comments at all on the number of children I have. I'd find it very strange if anyone did.

3catstoo · 13/02/2007 10:15

Congratulations.

3 does seem to be popular suddenly.

We planned our third. I got all those comments too. It was the 'but you already have one of each so why have more?' that really bugged me.

3 is great. Hard work but great. My other 2 were 3 and 5 when number 3 was born.

We did have to get a bigger car as our old one couldn't fit 3 child seats in a row.

I had also given away most of my 0-12 months clothes and toys before we made the decision to have another. But third children are fine in sleepsuits all the time!

I'm ttc number 4 at the moment. It's proving harder than the first 3, who were easily conceived, so the opposite to your situation in that respect.

We went to Germany on holiday last summer and it was amazing how many people took a second look to see how many children we had.

My Mum was 1 of 6 so 3 didn't seem like a big number. I am an only child though. I think that's why I want more.

My 2 older children, now 7 and 5, are pestering me to have another baby too! They just love the company and especially like the idea of having a baby.

Good Luck to you. Remember 3 is great, fab, wonderful but hard work (as are 2!)

3catstoo · 13/02/2007 10:21

I must add that my house is a mess, but then it probably would be if I had no children .

My house looks like a lived in home with children who love books and toys and are allowed to play with them.

With 3 it's harder to keep on top of the household stuff I've found. But mine are all fairly young.

Fun fun fun!!!!

colander · 13/02/2007 10:50

Congratulations!

I have 2 DDs and would love no. 3. Still haven't completely decided with DH whether to go for it, but reading these messages helps reassure me that life with 3 would be ok. With 2 DDs I'm convinced that I would get loads of "so, are you trying for a boy" comments - especially from mil! Wouldn't care whether boy or girl, just feel like 2 isn't enough for me.

bigcar · 13/02/2007 10:52

Congrats on no 3! Its a bigger shock going from 1 to 2 than 2 to 3 and no4 is a walk in the park! My fav comment on hearing of the impending arrival of no 4 was "dont you think its time you got sky tv!". Got really fed up with the "was it planned" comments as well, but people soon got used to the idea and all our friends and family were really supportive .Did have to invest in a people carrier though, but does cut down on fighting in the car. Had fun last week when trying to explain to audiologist that the distraction hearing test he was trying on 10m old dd3 was not going to work due to general noise level at home being rather higher than the average, and that blocking out noise from ds1 was an advantage not a sign of severe hearing loss! Our house is never quiet, and rarely tidy but its never dull and i wouldnt change it for anything, youll love having no3! And dont forget labour should be easier this time round!

fridascruffs · 13/02/2007 11:34

was it planned?

fridascruffs · 13/02/2007 11:35

you're very brave

fridascruffs · 13/02/2007 11:35

ZacharyZoo · 13/02/2007 12:05

I have a 9 year gap between my 2nd and 3rd, and its fantastic, never even though about having a third until my second went up to junior school, and i just felt the need for another baby! Everyone thinks i am completely mad, but now he is here i feel like he was the missing piece of the jigsaw!

I have no urge for anymore, but a third was the best thing i ever did. Its like having a first one again, without all the worry and stress, he is just growing up too quickly! Don't take any notice of the negative comments, having three is amazing!

AdelaideS · 13/02/2007 12:39

someone said to me, on hearing i was pg for the third time
"don't you know you're supposed to stop when you have one of each?"

duh

stevie74 · 13/02/2007 12:58

Congratulations 99. My 3rd is due in August and I get the same comments as you (not that i've told too many people yet for that reason!) I have DD1 2.7yrs & DD2 16mths so will be busy but as they shall all be close in age I don't think it'l be too much of a stretch for me.
With regards to gender I would love a boy but my DP (who was hoping for a DP with DD1 & 2) would love another girl, says a boy would upset the balance!

Original poster

99redballoons · 13/02/2007 13:00

lol fridascruffs

Wilbur - great 'story' - all you can do is sit back and laugh, eh!? I've had a similar experience with just the two, so maybe we're not so unprepared as I think!

[the shame of it, I really wanted to keep this quiet (as if on MN!) as dh would kill me for raising this so publicly so soon and I check in today to find it on the front page! Argh, I thought surely this wasn't my thread!! Doh!)

OP posts:

spidermum · 13/02/2007 16:15

Why do people feel they have the right to comment on something so personal?

I had a lovely day with my 3 children today. It was a breeze and so peaceful...well I usually I have 5 of them. Thank God for play dates!

Eulalia · 13/02/2007 16:24

Yes got all those comments too - my mother was very rude. I abosultely adore ds2 and the other two do (although not always each other!). It has definately made our family more interesting particularly as you have the different relationships, ie all 3 together, 1 and 3 together, 2 and 3 together and 1 and 2 together.

Since have ds2 though I feel I have much less time to myself and seem to be forever doing loads of washing ... bedtimes take half the evening too. So much of it depends on the ages and abilities of your ohter children though.

Good luck,

divamumplus · 13/02/2007 16:25

congratulations, 3 is lovely, tbh there are more 3s around these days. i think ppl just being rude. i always think, when pg you find ppl so rude to you, like was it planned? (none of your business) were you surprised to find out (noyb) your life will change, and even stranger will touch your bump, it does make me mad. im having no2, and we love big family, why not have 3, my dad had 5 in his side, my mum had 8 plus 2 half sisters( grandads second marriage) ppl used to have many kids and suddenly its came down to 1 or 2. i think things changed now. i know many ppl with 3-4kids, always look lovely.

annasmami · 13/02/2007 17:53

Congratulations! I can understand that it was a big decision to go for a third baby.

My SIL has just had her fourth (although living in Canada where the cost of living is much lower and big cars and petrol are cheap) and she is loving it.

I, on the other hand, am completely happy and fulfilled with two - any more would overwhelm me. I enjoy being able to have one-on-one time with each of them but also having time to being 'me' and a wife to my dh.

So, it is such a personal decision and you should just ignore the comments you are receiving! Good Luck!

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