Anyone had a baby when they have autism

[WillowGreen]

I have been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome ( which not everyone knows about) and Tourette's ( which is fairly obvious!). I can't find any information about what it is like to be pregnant with either of these conditions. Everything seems to be about the risk factors of your child being autistic etc. There is nothing about being pregnant. Can pregnancy make your tic get worse? I am also worried that people will judge us and think I am an unfit mum. I know I will love my baby. I know that the midwife asks all your mental health history. If you have seen a neurospychiatrist will that be seen as a 'risk factor'? I realise there are not many people in my situation but there must be someone.

I think there are quite a few on here - there's a "Mumsnetters with special needs" board under the main SN section. Congratulations

Thank you. I have had a look at the board. It is good to know there are other people in the same situation.

My dad and brothers have Aspergers. I had a brilliant childhood.

Welcome to motherhood where everyone judges you. Seriously, you could be Mary Poppins to the power of a million on a very good day indeed, and someone will judge your parenting. That's the last thing you have to worry about!

I don't know if pg affects tics - do they get worse when you're anxious? Pregnancy can be an anxious time for some women so it might be worth trying to find something to help you minimise any stress or anxiety. Are you on any meds?

And congratulations!

I'm Asperger's and so is my dd.

I had a straightforward labour, in hospital. But I thought the pain would kill me. The pain itself, not the process.

Dd had a home birth, a lot of the labour in water. When she got out of the water the pain was overwhelming.

Depending on how your autism affects you, be aware that the sensations of giving birth might be fairly extreme. If you are normally more aware of sensation than the average person, and overwhelmed by it, that applies during labour, too.

Lonny makes a very good point. I'm not minimising at all the specific challenges which come with autism, but honestly EVERYONE who gets pregnant, gives birth or parents gets judged for something at one point or another. I wonder whether there are any resources out there for dealing with judgmental people..

Thank you that's good to know

OP, you could contact Tourettes action they are extremely helpful and will be able to answer your question about tics in pregnancy. Good luck!

Whatsername I'm pleased that you had a good childhood.

My tics do get worse when I am anxious and I do have a lot of sensory issues so I probably will have some challenges.

I have been dealing with judgemental people all my life and am still not very good at it but I have done lots of things in my life that people did not expect me to achieve. I know that there are a lot of people who will say I shouldn't have a baby and I try not to let that bother me.
Timelytess did you tell your midwife you have autism? Were they supportive?

You absolutely should have a baby. 100%. Autism will amplifiy some challenges perhaps, but you will be an amazing mum. Lots of support here for questions/worries too. And - to go back to your OP - I would also suggest being very open with your midwife. They are usually amazing and they are here to help and support you.

I have been diagnosed with aspergers.
I told my midiwfe- who quite frankly has been rubbish. I had thought I would have to just get on with it, but mentioned my issues to a hospital midwife yesterday- and it turns out there is a specialist midwifery team that deals with ladies who have extra needs. So I'm being moved to that team. It means that all my appointments will be at home, they will do antenatal classes on a 1:1 basis with me so I don't need to deal with a big class if I don't want to, and my midwife will accompany me to hospital and deliver baby.
One of my major concerns was being overwhelmed in hospital- so this has been a real relief for me.
I'm yet to meet the midwife yet- but it sounds perfect on paper.

We spoke about extra support after birth- but my husband is amazing and we have family close by (plus I was a nanny for many many years) so I think I will be ok. If not- I'm entitled to access extra parenting support should I wish.

Re being pregnant, I have noticed all the twinges and pulls whereas 2 ladies I also know at the same stage haven't. I am also convinced I can feel baby moving already - proved yesterday at scan when Sonographer asked me to tell her when I thought baby was dancing around.
I'm wary about pain in labour - but willing to accept any and all drugs they offer.
Good luck with everything.

Timelytess did you tell your midwife you have autism? Were they supportive?
I had no idea back in 1982, I just thought people found me weird. Even dd didn't get spotted as Asperger's until her birth trauma counselling, though I had been outed about six years before that.
:)

I don't have an asd but I have found that antenatal care are really vigilant with any extra health/mental health needs in mum's to be. I suffer from anxiety disorder and they have been fab with reassuring me and having support readily available.

The community midwife service where I am isn't very good but the hospital are fab. I'm deemed as high risk, I get monitored a lot and there has never been any judgement on my health, just good care from them.

Enjoy it as much as you can and mumsnet is a great support resource too x

It seems that most mothers with autism are under the radar. At least I do know.
My local area do have a specialist pregnancy mental health team so I hopefully will be referred to that.
It is great hearing experiences from other mums. I feel reassured.