so broody it makes me cry

[user703749]

Hi
I'm new on here and I'm not sure if I've put this under the right topic but I really need some help. I'm currently not in the position to start a family and kids really aren't on the cards for a few years but I've become really broody recently. I've always wanted children but suddenly it's just hit me, every time I go shopping I have to look at baby clothes, I have names I like, If I see a pram I always look at the baby and it seems like pregnant women and babies seem to be everywhere atm any advice or stories welcome, it's bringing me to tears. is it just hormones??

Hi,

So sorry to hear you feel this way. It's really hard when you want something but it feels far away.

I had a loss in my early twenties. It was an unexpected pregnancy but baby much wanted. I would have loved to try again straight away in my heart but it wasn't the right time and definitely not the right person.

Several years later, I've met the right person and I'm expecting. But there were several years when I felt like you are describing and it felt very painful.

What I can say is that we ladies are stronger than we think and can manage it even when it feels very painful. For a long time I found being around pregnant women and babies hard, wondering if this would ever happen to me. But I also tried to make sure I did things that made me happy, I changed careers, traveled, balanced spending time with friends who were getting married/having babies (who I felt really happy for but it was also painful), with also doing different things with different groups of people and that helped me.

I also spoke to a counselor and my sister - so talking to people might help.

I am sure the right time will come, and your babies will arrive, but in the mean time, try and be kind to yourself

xx

Positive visualisation helped me through

I went through a phase similar to this when I was 30, welling up when I'd see a young family, craving that for myself. I'd always wanted my first child at 33 but for some reason, when I hit 30, I felt an overwhelming sadness because I didn't yet have a baby and knew I wouldn't be in a position to have one for some time. I'd recently left a career field I loved due to redundancies and moved into a job I hated in an unfamiliar sector and financially a baby wasn't an option as the job security wasn't there. I felt very down , became overweight and felt like such a mess. Maybe part of me thought having a baby would make everything better, but ultimately I knew it wouldn't.

Fast forward 18 months, I'd pulled myself together, started applying for other jobs (and got a great one), started to focus on losing weight (I found I enjoyed running!?) and allowed myself to buy the odd piece of clothing, book or toy to put away for my 'future' baby.

I was positively about my future and focusing on my goal of getting healthy and losing weight (I'd lost 2.5 stone by the time we were expecting DD), getting a better job with job security, to ultimately have the baby I yearned for when the time was 'right'. And, after having DD at 33 (as'planned') seeing DD wear or play with the things I bought her long ago when I was visualising my future with her was amazing x