8 months pregnant and partner just left me

[LilyBlue1]

Came home tonight and he'd packed his bags and gone. So lonely and afraid. Can anyone help?

Sorry to hear this. Yelling at you and treating you so bad especially when pregnant is highly abusive. He is doing you a favour by leaving. He is childish and selfish and will only get worse when the baby arrives. Look after yourself and your baby. He is acting like a low life.

His mum sounds awful too. Your life will be hell if you get back with him.

Well.you have managed bloody well without him for 39 ish years of yr life.and you will manage for next 39 with out him....and as for you saying you have no family....err...you have.and you will meet him /her in a month...you are going to be fine.hes done you a massive favour.because now you can focus on yr baby.he has shown his true colours.and thank god this didn't happen two years or so down the line...if you are fine for money.dont put him on the birth certificate ..just cut him out of yr life,don't give him or his family the chance to hurt you or yr child again

I can't afford to raise this any alone. And I won't have any social life etc... For years now. I guess me stonewalling him made him
Feel like I didn't want him there so he left. And now I am
Blaming myself. He did try and make up and said lets hug it out but I was just too angry and to be honest we have argued about this before and the same thing keeps happening again and again. The family obsession never changes

Meant I can't afford to raise this baby alone. Also not sure how many days I wait before contacting him about his stuff as all
His clothes and things are here.

I'm afraid he sounds like a useless waste of space. As it is you have been doing the lion's share of everything, even though you are pregnant, really you will be so much better off without him. One child is enough to look after, as I said to my ex.

I was a single mother from the word go and I was so glad I didn't have the father there, who would have considered every job that had to be done for the baby as women's work and beneath his dignity. It really would have taken the job out of being a mother and my dd would have grown up hearing up argue about who looked after her, a nightmare really.

I even think that you might be best not putting him on Milo's birth cert, because his family sound frankly weird and you might want to control any contact your child has with them.

I couldn't cut him out of my life. I just couldn't do that to Milo

Maybe I am being unfair. He does help - he does the dishes and hovers sometimes or cleans the bathroom and always asks if I need anything or gives me aback rub. But then he just goes off to them. That's the main problem.

Don't any of you think it is my fault? Would it not have been better to just let him have his own way and at least be here to give me some attention sometimes?

NO

You and the baby are much, much better off on your own

Doesn't matter whose fault it is OP (and I don't think it's yours) fact is you are better off without him. My son is 1. His dad calls in at his parents almost every night after work and until recently spent at least one weekend day there. He has changed about 8 nappies ever, never fed, dressed, got to sleep, taken out. Never given me a break or a lie in.

Being a single mum isn't easy. At least though, you don't have the expectation of help. And the constant disappointment and resentment.

For my birthday he got me a special framed 'M' for Milo made up of lots of pictures of us throughout my pregnancy. He does such sweet things like that. I just don't get it

I have to put his name on the birth certificate. My father was an abuser and I couldn't run the risk of Milo falling into
his hands if something happened to me.
I keep thinking, wouldn't it be lovely if I had a family or sister or something whose house I could pop round to? Who would make me a cup of tea and just give me a cuddle and talk. At least he has that. He isn't alone.

You have MN

I know. That's sweet. But not the same. God I'm off crying again. Will it ever end??!!??

Yes it will, but not today.

You're right that some RL support would be better. Is there anyone you can call? People can surprise you.

No nobody. I have a few friends but not nearby. It's the comfort of family you really need at times like this though. Just a bit of TLC. I still can't believe his mum had the audacity to text and ask me how I was. Like she gives a famn. All she's bothered about is HER precious grandson and indoctrinating him into her cult of a family. If she cared about me at all she wouldn't have tried to pull him away from us all the time.

I feel for you I really do right now I can't imagine how hard this must be for you BUT you will get through this and when your little one is here you will feel on top of the world. You say it won't be long now so at worse you'll feel sad until then. I would just send him a text in a couple of days saying when were you planning on collecting your stuff nothing more nothing less ball is in his court then. Lots of hugs going your way.

How am I going to provide for the baby though?

You said you are self employed so I guess that will take a back seat until the baby is a little older. Until then im sure you'd be entitled to benefits I'd get into your local council first thing tomorrow they can help you out with housing benefit and council tax benefit. They can also point you in the direction of other benefits income support or sow thing like that. Also give your midwife a call they can always help with benefits when I gave birth at the beginning of the year y midwife helped me get healthy start vouchers. When the baby is born you will also get child benefit and tax credits. You may not be rich but you'll get by. And the babies father needs to help you financially it his responsibility as well

Worried my sadness is feeding through to him. Keep saying sorry to poor little Milo. My poor boy.😢

Don't worry your baby will be fine. You sound like your going to be a brilliant mother just remember cherish every moment. Do your best for him and he'll grow up happy and healthy all a baby needs is milk, bum changes and lots of love and kisses from mummy. If you ever need to talk just pm me would love to know how you get on.

Won't feel like it atm OP, but he's likely done you a huge favour by bailing out in the early stages. Firstly, you now know the calibre of the guy under pressure, and at least this way you are only looking after the one child at home. When the dust has settled, would you really want a partner where you are constantly competing with his family for even the most basic levels of support? The sort of things that, frankly, his mother shouldn't even need to be reminding him of?

Perhaps his mum doesn't know. If he isn't there then where is he?

Exactly. Maybe he has been seeing someone else. Or he could be at his brothers or one of his sisters. I don't know.

right now you need to get practical. You need to work out what benefits you will be entitled to so you can work out if you need to move to a cheaper place or not. You can get advice on this from gingerbread.org.uk who have an advice line for single parents. Maternityaction.org.uk also have an advice line. Don't forget the baby's father should pay you child support.