First time mum - Overwhelmed

[elliej83]

Does anyone else feel overwhelmed as a first time mum or is it just me?
I really don't know anything about babies which I'm sure most people don't before they have one but the feeling of being responsible for another human being seems immense. I have no idea what you are meant to dress them, feed them etc. I started reading a book tonight but there's so much information it made me feel worse not better. We are starting NCT in Monday and am hoping it's going to help!

The classes are good. I was exactly the same. Even down to what they wear: onesies. So many onesies. Have a look at cloud mom on youtube, her channel has everything, how to change nappies, wash baby, breastfeeding et all.

I litterly binged watched her whole channel. Also, you will have intuition, it's small and its quiet, but it's there. And you have mumsnet

You won't believe me, but really the only mistake you will make is if you don't love your baby.

And you will.

It will wallop you behind the knees and you'll have stars in your eyes for ever.

Just spend time by yourselves; your baby will let you know what he/she needs.

And mainly it's food, cuddles, wees, food, clean clothes and love. And food.

Mine are off to uni soon.

See above. Plus money!

It goes fast. You will be ok; I promise.

It is a huge learning curve, even if you have been surrounded by babies. But when you step back and think about it, of course it is. Everything you do in those first days and weeks is brand new - you are learning how to nappy change, how to dress them, feed them, swaddle them etc as well as wrestling with that new buggy and car seat. But it does get easier and soon you will be changing nappies without thinking and you will settle into some sort of routine and it starts to get easier. It really does. In the early days and weeks gives yourself a break and go easy on yourself. Make sure if you have a partner that you are nice to each other. The classes will help, but do try not to panic or be anxious as it will make it harder.

We had never held a baby before we had ours! Midwives showed us got to bath and change dd and helped establish bf. We had to ask but they were really helpful. I found it massively overwhelming st first and, tbh, had a bit of post natal madness, that actually lasted snot five months. Love it now though and gave another so it soon passes!

Just make sure you and dh learn together so he is equally competent and confident with baby.

You are super lucky to have the Internet, and MN especially. So don't worry!

When my first was born 20 years ago, I panicked thinking I would never sleep again!

The midwives and health visitors will support you. Read what you're unsure about but don't get bogged down with too much info. Remember everyone has their own opinion, which isn't necessarily right for you and your baby.

It all falls into place.

I have worked worked in schools, as an SLT, as a nanny, I have nieces, nephews & younger cousins. I very competent around babies and children. I remember at 8 months pregnant freaking out and convinced I knew nothing about looking after a baby.

It's a piece of cake.

They wear babygrows and nappies.

They need somewhere safe to sleep and a few cellular blankets.

They drink breast milk which is free and convenient. If they cry ever it's 9/10 that they want a feed.
If yours doesn't drink breast milk for any reason then you can buy formula.

They need a car seat and either a pram or sling to move them about.

THAT'S IT. The rest is marketing.

They sleep a lot. Feed when they cry, if they don't want fed then wind them and change nappy. It's all common sense - you'll be fine.

I felt the same! But DS is now 7 months old and we Still Aten't Dead

Little babies have simple needs generally, if there's something wrong they cry. You can then work through a process of elimination - hungry, nappy, hot, cold, tired, cuddle, wind I think that's about it for a newborn. Clothes wise, vests and sleep suits, appropriate hat for outdoors (sun or woolly) and cardigans if it's cold.

Feeding - on demand (your NCT class will cover their feeding cues and believe me, you'll know them), either boob or bottle. Hard work, but not particularly complicated.

I think most parents probably feel like this to some extent, but you'll be fine

We've just come back from the NCT-led NHS antenatal sessions yesterday, and have to say that they really helped us to feel prepared (and I was fully expecting them to be useless and patronising). Both my wife and I work in healthcare - my wife in paeds - so we were not expecting any new information for either of us and, to a certain extent, we were correct. What it was great for, however, was normalising everyone's fears and expectations, and pointing out the wide array of modern support networks available to new parents. Everyone left feeling a lot more reassured, so hopefully you will feel the same benefits!

Others upthread have provided handy practical advice. I just want to say that you'll be fine, really. Just relax and lower your expectations to zero: no targets, no pressure, tackle each situation individually, this is not a competition, it's a human being and everyone is different. You'll do great and your baby will thrive.

I clicked on your thread because I too am feeling overwhelmed. I can only assume it's normal, because it is a big thing plus the exhaustion and hormones don't help. I guess the fact you're wondering about this shows you are very conscientious and will be a great mum. Hopefully the NCT classes will help too, I hear they are great for meeting people who turn out to be great support.