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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Are you blessed?

14 replies

TT10677 · 01/08/2016 00:15

I know I'm probably going to get shot down in flames here but interested to see if anyone else gets annoyed by this.

Its people that comment on being blessed when they get pregnant. We feel blessed. We're so blessed to be expecting.... And so on... And I'm talking about non religious people here.

My issue is what this says to those unlucky people who are unsuccessfully trying, can't have kids whatever. You aren't good enough to be "blessed", you must be a bad person, you did something wrong. What makes you blessed but not me? Is it just slightly insensitive? Or arrogant? Or one of those phrases people say without really thinking what they are saying because they hear others say it?

Curious to hear what you think. Obviously I'm not a big fan of the term.

OP posts:

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 01/08/2016 00:27

They are saying they are happy about heir own situation.

They are saying nothing bad about anyone else's situation.

I think that you're over thinking it somewhat.

user1467983757 · 01/08/2016 06:09

Just a phrase

lozzylizzy · 01/08/2016 06:14

They probably mean lucky rather than the religious term. Luck is random

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 01/08/2016 06:26

I sort of agree. I really dislike Facebook "feeling blessed" statuses. I think it's smug but I think people just mean that they are feeling lucky (absolutely not what blessed means)

Marshpillow · 01/08/2016 06:27

I hate that phrase too. It sounds smug.

Muskateersmummy · 01/08/2016 06:29

Having struggle to conceive i really feel blessed/lucky to have finally had our dd. This to me doesn't mean that others haven't been good enough. It means that other people are still on the horrendous journey, and that I'm hoping they get lucky too

Muskateersmummy · 01/08/2016 06:45

I certainly don't think it comes from a place of being smug. Many of the couples I know have struggled use the phrase "blessed" and it's quite the opposite of being smug, it's from a place of knowing how difficult it is getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term, so they are truly grateful for the miracle they have.

havalina1 · 01/08/2016 06:53

Yes I see where where you're coming from, the use of the phrase can seem smug. When it's used about pregnancy this one of the few times I think it's ok. It's all the other times it's over used! Like fb "date night, feeling blessed" posts.

"Bless" is so heavily used here in England. When I moved here I really noticed it. The "oh bless!" when my daughter did something cute.

DiggersRest · 01/08/2016 06:53

They are not thinking of anyone else, but their own joyful occasion. Which is actually ok you know. Sorry if you're struggling but people shouldn't have to confine their happiness because of this.

And l have one very religious friend who puts 'blessed' about everything because that is how she feels.

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 01/08/2016 08:37

But blessed implies divine intervention. That God chose for you to have a baby. It is completely different to saying that you feel lucky.
Lucky acknowledges that you've been fortunate. Blessed implies that you've been chosen.
I do think it's an important difference and could cause offence. Equally understand that people don't mean to use it in this way but suggest that they say lucky if that is what they mean

Original poster

TT10677 · 01/08/2016 08:38

Thanks everyone for your views. It's interesting to hear what people think.

DiggersRest- no not struggling at all but I haven't had it easy so I can understand both sides. I have a little boy with two more on the way. Like some people have said I just find the term a little smug and have a dislike for it.

I don't spend my days worrying about it. Was just curious to see if it was just me. I prefer the terms happy, pleased, etc etc.

OP posts:

Whatsername17 · 01/08/2016 09:38

I don't like it as a term. After a tough time conceiving and a mmc at 13 weeks I would say I'm now very lucky to be 15+3 and feeling my little baby wriggle.

KittensandKnitting · 01/08/2016 11:41

I think it's just a phrase/expression - i feel blessed/blissfully happy - I see it almost as a version of I'm extremely content and lucky to be in this position. The English language evolves and develops and the meaning whilst rooted in religion I don't think it is just a religious term anymore.

When (and I really hope it's a when, after 6 miscarriages in the past 18mts) I am lucky enough to have a baby, and look at its face I think I will feel incredibly lucky and may even use the word blessed, it's just a word in my view to describe feeling incredibly lucky and happy it shouldn't take anything away from anyone else.

If someone used that word to describe their children or their pregnancy to me I wouldn't feel less of a person for not being in their position and who knows what they went through to get there - maybe they do feel "blessed" that it finally happened for them.

I do agree about those bloody awful FB status though they drive me up the wall!!! And if it was used in a negative context towards someone "you will be blessed in the future with a child" id want to throttle them, but in the context you describe above I think it's ok for a person to feel that about their own personal situation, because that's how they feel.

LBNM19 · 02/08/2016 23:32

I don't think there is anything wrong with saying you feel blessed.

My first son was born with a life limiting condition that we have a 1 in 4 chance in each pregnancy of passing on.

We've gone on to have 2 more pregnancys that are unaffected by the condtion, I do feel blessed and very lucky that it hasn't happened again given the circumstances.

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