My boyfriend doesn't want our baby :(

[FionaMxx]

I found out I was pregnant 2 days ago and my boyfriend was with me as I did the test. I am about 5wks I have worked out. I had barely managed to determine the result when he told me to get an abortion.
Last year I was 15 weeks pregnant when my mum & he pressured me into an abortion and I've regretted it every minute of every day since. I always swore if it happened again I'd keep the baby. My boyfriend and I just had a long chat and he tells me he's just not ready and if we had a baby he would not be able to love it as it would ruin his life (he's a professional sports man and travels a lot) we are both financially stable and do not live together officially yet (he stays at my house every night)

He is so passionate and set in his ways that this is not the right time for him and he does not want this. But it's all I've longed for every day :-(

I know his wants are as important as mine but my heart is breaking.

Can anyone give me some advice?

X

Wow. Ok so let me clarify AGAIN for the people who are calling me immature.
Last year no I was NOT on contraception because he and I had been on a break for 6 months and I was not sexually active in that time. We slept together then subsequently got back together and no he did not wear a condom, maybe I should have pressured him more to wear one but sue me I didn't. He and my mum told me to get an abortion as we had only just got back together, and I regret that every day and both of them see that regret every day. Nevertheless I got the depo jag at point of termination then went on to use the ovranette pill (not in front of me so spelling may be incorrect) and have done ever since.

AT NO POINT before now did he ever tell me he never ever wanted kids, yes I want children and always have wanted children but I wasn't in any rush. I've taken the pill every day usually in the morning but there's been a few times as a human being forgotten and taken it later on during the day. Is that seriously such a crime?

Sad that I feel I have to justify myself but whatever.

Thank you to everyone else who has given me great advice. I have been reading similar threads and I think I will let him have space for a while, invite him to the scans and if he chooses to come then great, if not then that's his choice.

I grew up without a dad but I had the most fabulous, loving mother I could have ever wished for and I would never even dream of being resentful towards her for the absence of my father.

You sound like you're confident in your choice OP. Amongst some of the goady posts you've had some great advice. Take it easy. I hope you have a healthy and happy pregnancy.

There have been a spate of threads recently with financially stable young couples having a baby where the male half is having second thoughts.

I think "having second thoughts" is somewhat of a euphemism in this case!

Good luck with everything. Contraception is not perfect, any time you have sex, you are risking conception. Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

No advice but just wanted to wish you the very best in your decision.

If you don't want an abortion then DO NOT HAVE ONE.

I know his wants are as important as mine but my heart is breaking.

They're really not, you know. YOU are the pregnant one.

Your body, your choice.

I found outa week ago I'm pregnant I'm 7 weeks gone and it was a total shock, I was on the Pill and whilst on holiday was very unwell with D and V, I didn't realise diorhea affects the pill so here I am!

I told my boyfriend yesterday when I was upset as he was stressing about little things and took it out on me, he txt me and told me he wanted to break up when he left the house and when he came back it's when I blurted it out after thinking I could sort things on my own and not rock our already rocky relationship.

About 2 years ago he made me have an abortion and said if I didn't I would be single, we hadn't been together a year at that point so I thought it was the best thing but almost a day after he ended things after trying to be nice up until this point and then I went on a downward spiral...I was so hurt and he couldn't see what he had done to me, I felt broken and regretted what I done but as time passed thought it was best but vowed to never find myself in the same situation ever again.

I don't know what to do, he says he doesn't want a kid and I can't go through all that again if I have an abortion but the other option is to be a single mum and my whole life change. I'm nearly 28 and I love kids but I don't know what I want, I think if he wanted it I would be happy but knowing what I know I just can't decide. He said if I keep it I will have to move out.

I know if I went ahead and kept the baby he would eventually support me but wouldn't want me and I couldn't bare to see him move on and regret losing him but at the same time I think I've lost him anyway.

It's always struck me as wrong (and I am a woman) that women can force men to become parents in the case of contraceptive failure.
No woman can force any man into becoming a parent. It is a risk that both parties accept when they have sex. Contraception failure happens to both people but pregnancy only happens to the woman so she can choose to abort if she wants to but not all women see that as an option.

Instead it's heads she wins, tails he loses, every single time.
Oh those poor men who are forced into having sex with women.
She is the one who ends up pregnant.
When she didn't want that originally, does that mean that he forced her to get pregnant? That makes no more sense than her forcing him to deal with the consequences of having sex.

Good luck OP. Make the decision that is right for you.

I've just found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant. Here I am excited and happy to tell my partner. His reaction. Get rid of it. After numerous arguments he says that if I keep it we will co parent it, broken up. I feel hurt, sad and alone. We have been together for 15 mths and I don't want to have an abortion. Should I leave him now?