3 months pregnant and just read the AIBU post about downsides of parenting... what's the best stuff?!

[GingerIdiot]

Hello all,

I just read the really interesting thread here that PhoebeGeebee posted: AIBU To ask what makes being a parent so hard?www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2685737-To-ask-what-makes-being-a-parent-so-hard?pg=1

The answers are very useful to read - some stuff I had anticipated (sleep deprivation, toddler years, relentlessness of parenting, lack of money, free time etc). I'm glad to know all that stuff, I don't want to go in blind, but oh god this thread has terrified me!!

I don't want to be an ostrich about it all, I know it's going to be difficult, and I don't want to undermine all the honest answers that were given, but for the sake of some more lighthearted balance, could some parents tell me some of the good stuff too?

A lot of the posts ended with a positive tone - after listing all the difficulties that lay ahead, they often say about it being the best thing you'll ever do .... but why, specifically? Just general overriding love?

The love.

The snuggles and cuddles. DS is 2 and he knows how to fit perfectly into both mine and DH's arms.

The laughter. And genuine joy and pride at watching your DC learn new things, and the first time they do something. The amazement at how much they can do and understand so young. And you created that!

Rediscovering awesome (literally) things, as you watch your DC take notice of the world around them. Chasing butterflies, looking at clouds and inspecting sticks and leaves on the ground. Kind of stop and smell the roses type living.

My ds is 2 and I'm 39 weeks pg with dc2.

He wasn't a very happy baby, not a good sleeper etc etc

However the lovely things r watching him do things for the first time. And look really pleased with himself!

The fact he can now talk to you (sometimes utter rubbish!!) And thinking I taught/helped him to do that!

When he runs into nursery on a morning without a second glance at me but when I pick him up he shouts 'my mummy' and runs to give me a hug.

when he offers me bits of his food ' mummy have some, I share'

When he says 'love you mummy'

His lovely toddler cuddles (he isn't very cuddly so these are extra good!)

Even when he is naughty but knows it and he has a little cheeky grin on his face!

The fact little things make him really happy, he loves animals and gets so excited going to the farm. Or going to the park with a slide.

Obviously I'm biased but he is so clever and cute and funny and I made him! Well me and dh! And we helped him do all the things he can do and that's pretty amazing I think considering he was a teeny bundle of cells!

Oh, yes. Hearing how excited they are to see you, and the way their face lights up is incredible. It doesn't matter who is holding them, as soon as Mum arrives they want to go back.

When I go to her crib in the morning & she beams at me like I'm the best thing in the world 😍

The funnies. DS is almost two and is enchanted by the bin men, as the lorry reversed up our street this morning there were shrieks of 'big bus' as he pressed himself up against the window.

Or when we see/hear an emergency vehicle and he says 'oh no, nee naw'.

His face as I pull into the driveway to pick him up after work, he is usually waiting in the window for me and oh what a beaming face.

There is a lot of crap but a lot of awesome too.

I'm off in a moment to my 11 year olds leaving primary assembly, it's such a great age, as is her eight year olds brothers age, they know so much and will debate, joke and tell the best jokes, it's like living with mini adults sometimes, just remember whatever you find hard, it's all just a phase and doesn't last forever. I am anticipating the teenage years will be hard but it won't last forever, and pick your battles, some really aren't worth having.

They are so funny. My children make me laugh more than anyone in the world. Proper belly laughs too.

Cuddles, hearing them laugh, kisses and when they reach milestones. When they randomly say they love you.

I watch my 4 year old and nearly 3 year old immerse themselves in fascinating role play in the garden, it makes my heart smile.

When the 4 year old and nearly 3 year old, help me with the baby by getting her undressed and picking her clothes, the smile on baby's face when they smother her in kisses is amazing.

When 2 year old gets so giddy he falls over because he saw the moon in the sky.

When the 4 year old swam 5m in a Armbands.

When the 4 year old cuddles the 2 year old cos he's scared of the Hoover, she makes me so proud.

When the 2 year old blew me a kiss in his end of playgroup show...

I could go on.

Doesn't meAn they don't kick each other in the head occasionally or drag each other round by the hair.

KP86 summed it up. My little girl (2) ADORES creche and runs into it beaming but then turns around and runs over saying "Mammy big kiss and hug". The snuggles!! The "mammy look at this" with such excitement..... at a stone.

God I would not swap a day with her for a millionaires jet style life style!

The cuddles. The snuggles. They're so funny. Even DD who is only 9 months does stuff to make us laugh (her personal favourite is pulling a little grumpy face at the moment!) and my 2yo DS is just hilarious all day.
It's amazing watching them learn and grow. They'll do or say something and you'll think 'wow I taught them that' or 'wow I can't believe they can do/say/think that!'
Watching them interact with other children or siblings. So sweet.
Absolutely adore seeing the parent side of DH and how he is with them. So attractive seeing that he's such a great parent and adores our children.
Seeing the world through their eyes. A leaf is amazing. Everything is a wonder, everyone is good in their eyes.
They just bring laughter, love, fun and excitement to most things.
I can't explain the love for them. Overwhelming. Unlike any other love. So fierce and huge

Oh so much stuff. Mine are now 5 and 8 and the fun we have together is just lovely.

Bedtime stories.
Water fights.
Cuddles
Their faces when they catch sight of me after work or when I've been away
Baby laughs- the most amazing feeling to elicit a giggle for pulling silly faces
Taking pride in their achievements- each step, whether it's riding without stabilisers, writing their name, their one line in the school play. And the way they want to share every achievement with you.

Thank you all so much (this has actually made me feel a bit teary in a hormonal way!). I am absolutely taking this on balance with all the downsides that I know will be there too, but it's lovely to read, and has made me feel pretty excited for what is to come! So THIS is why you go through the sleepless nights...

Rediscovering loads of fun things you did growing up but often don't bother with / are too embarrassing to go to without a small child in tow - adventure play grounds, trampolines, Disney films, ice lollies, waterslides, sandcastles - and watching your kids discover them for the first time and the sheer joy they have in simple things like bouncing on a trampoline.

Ds is only 3 weeks old but I'm just constantly amazed by him, I can't quite believe he's mine.
A very very selfish part of me also loves that sometimes when he's unsettled with other people I'll take him and he settles instantly. I love that special Bond that only me and him have.

My DD is nearly fourteen months, and I love her reaction when she sees me on waking up, big smile and arms stretched out for a cuddle.

I get ridiculously happy about all her achievements no matter how big or small, I am loving watching her develop and learn new things and her random babble.

We had a rough four months of next to no sleep, but even through that she made me smile.

She has a proper Beavis and butthead style laugh which really makes me chuckle, and cuddles with her are the best.

Thanks for this post, it's made me smile :)

Love this thread

The hilariousness. Nobody ever tells you how much you'll laugh.

It's one of the funniest things we've ever done. Yes, it's also the most relentless - but god they're funny.

Oh and the little hot breaths on your neck when you're rocking them to a nap. That's amazing.

The delicious cuddles.

My 15 month old makes me laugh so much. This morning during his bath, he turned the tap on and off quickly so the water coming out was like a "water plop". He thought it was hilarious and kept giggling at it. I spent quite some time making "water plops" and enjoying his giggles. It was great.

Yesterday morning, when he woke up he crawled over to me and started blowing raspberries on me. I am not a morning person, but that was a lovely (and hilarious) way to wake up.

He's fascinated by his 4 week old cousin. I look forward to seeing how those boys grow up together.

It's exciting and funny. :)

I'm the owner of a nearly 2yr old little boy and he is hands down the best thing I've ever done.

The shrieks of MUMMY! and him launching himself across the room to get to me when I collect him from nursery, the tiny podgy arms round your neck when you get a cuddle, when he learns something new and the look of pride on his little face, the laughs he gives me and DP every single day.

The first everything, smile, laugh, crawling, teeth, steps, words.
It's amazing to think that you grew this fab little person and watching them grow and get their own personality is so lovely.

Congrats OP

The love first and foremost- you have no idea how much you can love someone until you have a child!
The cuddles! My DD will just run up to me and gab me for a cuddle and kiss!! The moments when they learn something new like my 18 month dd has just learned to use a spoon, or she gets her toy hoover out when I get mine out.
They are hilarious!! I have literally laughed everyday since the day she was born.
Yes she tantrums, and pulls stuff off the side, refuses to sleep on occasion, point blank refused to go to nursery but the stresses pale in comparison to the joy she (and her unborn 11 week old brother or sister) bring us!! I couldn't begin to imagine not being a mummy now!!

The love!

The smiles, the cuddles, the kisses, the funny things they say, seeing them learn and change, feeling a little hand in yours, their sleeping faces, trying not to laugh when they are cheeky. Makes it all worth it.

The other night DD thought I was sleeping on her bedroom floor (had just closed my eyes while waiting for her to fall asleep). She leaned over and kissed my head and whispered "I love you, my sweet Mummy". Melt.

Just as well as the next night getting her to settle was hard going.

Children are simply wonderful! Personally I think all kids and babies are and I've always got a lot of pleasure from hanging out with friends' children - they are hilarious, wise, beautiful and so joyful. All of that is intensified even more with your own and you learn things about yourself that you never realised before, mainly your own incredible capacity for love.

Children are simply wonderful! Personally I think all kids and babies are and I've always got a lot of pleasure from hanging out with friends' children - they are hilarious, wise, beautiful and so joyful. All of that is intensified even more with your own and you learn things about yourself that you never realised before, mainly your own incredible capacity for love.

The excitement of watching them grow, and become a person in their own right, and the feeling when they are tiny, that you are the centre of their universe. You can have lovely relationships with other children, but it is only when you have your own that you become the absolute most important person in the world to someone, at least for a few years. It is more than worth any downsides.