Six False Alarms. No baby. Ignorant Midwife?

[user1467618369]

Hi there, I really need some sound advice, because quite honestly I feel like I'm loosing my mind at the minute.
I am a first time Mother very eagerly waiting for my baby to appear as every other Mum to be on the planet. Since about the start of the third trimester on wards I started having really painful braxton hicks. I have been in absolute agony at home, when I've left the house, tried everything, baths, paracetamol, cocodomal, have been into the hospital/called midwives out six times now The only thing that helps when I'm having a episode is doing deep breathing, apparently I sound like I'm pushing when I do that, and that's not right because I'm not in labour.
Some days are better than others, some days I don't have pains at all, other days I have been screaming close to tears, just want everyone to leave me alone, and alas had my worried husband frantically rush me to the hospital/call for a midwife to come out. The pains usually come with tightenings, and the weird thing is that they're usually incredibly regular and mimic real contractions.
Yesterday was the sixth false alarm and definitely the worse I have ever been treated in the hospital. We got in, and I couldn't' talk properly cause it really hurt, I can't explain what it feels like apart from like I'm getting punched inside over and over again. About two hours after they started, I laid down on the bed and they stopped. The midwife put her hand on my bump to feel 'contractions' and of course they had just stopped so she felt no tightenings at all!! The midwife that saw me and my husband, quietly say to him that she thought I was just scared pretty much of childbirth and that's what was causing these trips to hospital As if I was putting the entire affair on, she wrote in my notes that I was tensing my muscles when the baby was moving and that they weren't contractions at all. She then had a chat to me explaining she knew what it was like after having three children, being so eager to meet your baby, as if I had been faking everything these last three months. She then gave us a number of an obstetrician saying if I have pains again to go to another hospital instead of the birth centre (after SIX FALSE ALARMS) (which is right round the corner from us, the hospital is about 30 mins away!) that basically I couldn't keep having false alarms at the birth centre!!!
It doesn't help that I used to have anxiety (which is in my notes) and they've wrote down that I used to be on medication for.. So she accused me yesterday of just being so scared of childbirth, that the pains were in my head.
.I actually didn't want to go to hospital yesterday, but with my due date being today, my husband and MIL rushed me down there regardless. Usually I leave it longer than an hour to see if the pains settle down. It has been suggested that I have an irritable uterus, but have not received any treatment for this.
Basically I think now, that they've just made me out to be this neurotic heavily pregnant anxious young woman. I stopped seeing anyone for mental health well over six months ago now, I have had no need to be on meds for over a year, I have completed a full time college course at a distinction level the last nine months, run my own house, volunteer etc. I don't have anxiety anymore!
I am so horribly offended and disgusted by the midwife yesterday, my MIL wants to write in a complaint to the birth centre. The other staff there have been helpful and wonderful, but this woman was so horrifically patronizing, I felt like I was being spoke to like a child having a tantrum. Unless my waters go, I have no clue how I will no I'm going into labour, and now I feel scared to call the birth centre/hospital/anyone at all. I was actually feeling very positive about giving birth, I did a hypnobirthing class, we have everything ready for our daughter, I have lots of support behind me, not scared at all, just in pain.
I'm 40 weeks at due date today, so it can't be much longer now, does anyone have any advice?

[user1467618369]

When I have timed the BH at home that's why I've been so very concerned- I've listened to my body and the pains. My MIL has timed them for me before, I have been screaming in agony and she said they're like the end of labour contractions. I'm hoping that my real ones build up gradually but these ones start off very close together incredibly painful, I've timed them on an app on my phone and they've been as close as two minutes together for 30-40 secs!! I have waited for hours with them as close as that before!
I do not think the replies on here about wasting NHS resources? Is particularly helpful, if you were experiencing painful BH for hours as close as that, groaning and panting, and it was your first, I'm not sure what you would also do. Very shocking.
My midwife has advised that when they are three minutes apart for three hours to go to hospital/ring birth centre. I'm just one of those lucky gals that experiences nasty BH. Six false alarms is a lot but I don't think for any mother that's a waste of NHS resources! if I had a friend or anyone in the same state, I would always encourage them to go!!
My MIL suffers from anxiety, but she doesn't receive any proper treatment and is in denial. She's the closest thing I have to a mother myself, we're very close. She admitted to me and DH the other day that she has anxiety. So I'm hoping she reaches out for help, very caring wonderful lady, grateful to have her as support. She's desperate to be at the birth as much as DH, and I couldn't refuse. I couldn't be luckier having someone like that for a mother in law.
For my husband, he finds it excruciating watching me in any level of pain, I've tried speaking to him about it, but I'm hoping that there will be good supportive staff wherever that deliver our daughter, who will help support him as much as me. We are a young newlywed married couple expecting our first baby, we have no idea what to expect apart from what we're told and the Internet. He's not thinking clearly when I get in such a state bless him. I don't think it matters what I say to him, of course he's going to be freaking out!
One of the midwives at the birth centre is an absolute angel, very experienced and sensitive, she also made the suggestion of latent phase of labour three weeks ago! I lost my mucus plug ages ago now, it's very possible I've been in the early phases, latent labour for almost a month.
There is some light at the end of the tunnel- they will induce me at 40+12, my MW said they won't let me go further than that.
Fingers crossed, thanks again for all the replies will keep updating. 40+1 today xx

[Keely93]

I have an irritable uterus and I get braxton hicks painfully and regularly and you can time them. They die down after 4/5 hours. I'm not much of a screamer but they are very painful when they are there. I have admittedly only been to hospital once with a false labour alarm and that was during my first pregnancy with my daughter. I've had them this pregnancy(34+5) but I've just left it knowing if it didn't ease off it was the real deal. For what it's worth my mum throughout my pregnancy with my daughter said 'I don't know how you'll cope in labour if you're like this with braxton hicks'... I went on to have an unmedicated labour and it was absolutely lovely and I hope this one is the same. And I managed to wait at home until 6cm, got in
And was only in for two hoursish before she was born. I think the painful braxton hicks help prepare you better haha. She might have shot you down and I think she was a bit ununderstanding to do that but I'd take it with a pinch of salt. You know how painful and regular they are, and unless someone else has experienced them I think they struggle to understand. Good luck :) xx

[OohAahBird]

I had similar in my 2nd pregnancy and I then went on to have a very fast birth as in fact the contractions had been doing something, just ignore the midwife you saw comments, unfortunately in my experience you do get mw who aren't fab, just as you get people who aren't very good at there jobs in every walk of life, I hope it all goes well.

[poocatcherchampion]

Indigestion??

Labour is hard op. Try to rest as much as you can

[Vikkijayne2507]

Some people on here are really quite rude op. I've just had my second baby 4 weeks ago on Wednesday. I have my babies at 37 weeks. I labour very easily, however a week or so b4 hand I had really painful twinges that made me gasp, it wasn't like my first labour. They hurt and happened every 15 minutes. I didn't go into hospital as it didn't feel like my first labour that went to every 4 mins in evening born at 9am next day.
I'm saying this as that pain I felt wasn't labour, night b4 baby I woke up with 2 contractions 3 hours apart that didn't hurt but we're super intense. I went to bed again got up went to routine37 week appointment at hospital felt absolutely fine, they did a trace ( I live abroad and its standard at 37 weeks to do this) no contractions seen. Had a chat with dr who examined me and announced I was 6cm dialated and 80% effaced. Sent me off to delivery.

So what I'm saying is your body may be having a lot of pain hearing you up for labour, labour isn't necessarily painful, I may have gone to work that evening if I hadn't had an appointment but instead I had a baby by 5pm

[Vikkijayne2507]

Gearing up*

[Alfieisnoisy]

Am keeping everything crossed for you OP.

I used to be a midwife so I know that these BH can be very painful indeed for some women. You are NOT wasting anyone's time or the NHS resources. They are there to support you...or should be.

Hope it isn't much longer.

[user1467618369]

Hey lovely ladies, again thank you lots for the support and sharing experiences. 40+2 still here!! Weather is roasting today, couldn't sleep very well last night, had a couple of twinges and am quite uncomfortable. DH has been amazingly supportive, cooking little meals for me and bringing me water and putting on comedy shows on the tele to distract me. Have been a bit sick today, think it's just the heat but hoping it's pre-labour sign. My BILs gf had her baby yesterday too! She was due on same day as me 🙈 Excuse the language but FFS. Trying not to be super jealous and happy for her. Will do some cleaning/nesting tonight hopefully that gets the process going. Know I'm going to miss feeling her inside, but just feel so ready to be a Mummy now! Just want to give her cuddles!

[Alfieisnoisy]

Keeping everything crossed for you here OP.

If it feels hot when trying to sleep then I can recommend stripping naked and sleeping with a big floaty scarf (which has been soaked in cold water) over you and a fan nearby. Damp scarf acting as a sheet....it's brilliant at helping you feel cool at night.

Bless your DH and everyone looking after you. The small regular meals sound so helpful.

It's hard at this stage watching other people due the same time give birth around you. I was 40+15 (I kid you not) when DS finally arrived by CS after refusing all manner of induction. However I had none of those pre labour symptoms you are having. It can't be much longer for you...sounds like your body is doing lots of preparation for labour.

[untinctured]

All labours are different. I can't believe how many people stick rigidly to the belief that because they had a textbook labour pattern (i.e. starting with mild contractions that get stronger) this must be the same for all other women. And that anyone who complains of painful contractions prior to 4cm must be some kind of drama queen with a low pain threshold.

There is some interesting info on labour patterns on the Spinning Babies website OP. Worth a read. Do you know what position the baby is in as it sounds like a posterior labour? Or this may just be a type of labour pattern that is unique to you.

Good luck!

[user1467618369]

Oh he's good as gold Alfieisnoisy, I really couldn't have someone better. 😊 He's a very excited doting loving Daddy to be. He's been so supportive throughout the pregnancy, he's not in work atm mainly because he wanted to help take care of me pregnant. Planning to go back when our daughter is a bit older, six months I imagine at the earliest. We know there's a chance of postpartum mental health stuff coming back and although he has total confidence in me, I think he wants to guarantee that I'm totally fine before he returns to work. Been offered his old job back as well from old boss whenever he wants it as looking at new ones with bigger money. Did some training last year ready for a new line of work. I'm very proud of him as he is of me.
I did USE to be really ill, and whilst I've stabilised my recovery, we want to make sure I'm completely okay. I'm feeling really confident with his support. 😘
Yes we had to sleep naked last night with all the windows open, the sunshine is out and blasting, grateful Im at the end now, sympathy for women due later in the summer- we are in Wales and are used to constant rain.
Have woken up with really tremendous back pain today am finding it hard getting about, my MIL suggested back labour? Pains in my thighs as well, it's all constant now. Just getting constant symptoms. Had more twinges last night, nothing agonising enough yet. 40+3
Thank you all

[captainproton]

OP I believe you about the BH, in my 3rd pregnancy I had an irritable uterus and every BH just knocked me sideways. I had a notepad of all the contractions I thought I'd had and i had started it 6 weeks before the pickle arrived. Tbh actual labour contractions were exactly the same apart from the final push. I had a home birth and the midwives were in 2 minds about going back or to wait to see if I was in actual labour. If I wasn't having a home birth or it being my 3rd I'd have been down the hospital too.

Good luck with the final hours/days of your pregnancy.

[Lj8893]

The latent phase of labour can be very painful, long and frustrating op, I feel for you. Some women even say that the latent phase was the worst part of the whole thing so fingers crossed your actual labour will be a breeze

It does sound like your baby is back to back, that can make the pain even more intense and can make you feel or sound quite "pushy" before the pushing stage. Particularly since you are feeling lots of back pain.

Good luck

[Alfieisnoisy]

All sounds promising for you....lets hope this is your body really gearing up.

[user1467618369]

Sorry to hear that captainproton, that sounds awfully similar to me. I think the information about BH is complete BS about them not being painful/regular. I don't think I have a low pain threshold or a high pain threshold, I just think I have a normal pain threshold, Due another sweep Thursday and Saturday. Seeing the antenatal clinic tomorrow now, hoping I'll get an official induction date. With this heat as well, I'm really starting to not feel well, trying to stay positive. I am walking (waddling) like an eighty year old with osteoporosis (Sexy, right?). DH wrote me a beautiful card last night, just out of the blue wanting to do something to make me feel better. Telling me how strong I'm being. He also bought us a fan today and stuck me in front of it, in our living room to keep me cool.Trying to savour the time we have alone together before our bundle of joy arrives. My MIL is incredibly excited, its lovely seeing her so involved. Im very worried and have a nasty feeling I'm going to snap at her/DH during the birth, her anxiety is becoming mixed with excitement. Everyone is really excited and supportive, but we're getting pretty fed up with the constant how are you calls,texts, facebook messages etc. Tempted to just turn my phone off and sign out of FB till after. Feeling so irritable right now!! Not like me at all. Example; A friend of mine, (who admittedly i have had some recent issues with) text me earlier simply hoping Im having a nice day, and I felt like texting back all sort of horrid stuff at her, I had to control myself. DH is being a superstar. Makes me feel so loved having him about throughout this.He's been at my constant beckon call. I have a lot of respect for women who have done this all by themselves, I don't think I would be coping as well without his support. Thank you so much all for your replies. I am a bit nervous about the birth now, and afterwards.. I really hope I'm going to be a good Mum. sooner rather than later right?

[Maxfell2008]

I would report her tbh, you need someone that can support you and not judge you.

It is your first baby, and that is a scary thought!

This is my 3rd baby, and all 3 pregnancies were/ are complicated. ( Have an irritable uterus due to collapsing in first pregnancy)...

You have every right as a mother to either call a midwife out or to go into your local unit/ hospital if you have any concerns or pains.

I do not have a midwife where i live, i actually have to go straight to my unit or call 999 which seems extreme!

You are not alone here.

xxx

[user1467618369]

Sorry if this is Tmi had sex with DH earlier... Twice.. I think it was half him trying to induce me and half because he actually seems to still find me attractive. Been getting strong cramps and tightenings and more pressure/swelling downstairs . But the tightenings are short, strong with gaps inbetween. Hope this is it. 40+5

[conkerpods]

Best of luck OP!

[user1467618369]

Thanks, going to see consultant today today and having another sweep at home on Saturday! Hoping another sweep at home will do the trick, am really feeling uncomfortable now. Cramps are very mild and similar to what I've been experiencing. Can't sleep very well tonight, mainly I think it's because I slept loads in the day. No other pre labour signs asides from back ache. Hope she isn't back to back My Nephew was born back to back and know my sisters labour was ridiculously long! Have been trying to relax as best as I can- long hot bath did me some good earlier. Appetite has gone strange.

[FATEdestiny]

I don't think I could manage a hot bath in this heat and I'm not even pregnant! In your position if have a deep bath ready all day, just on the cooler side of luke warm, and keep plunging myself in it periodically to keep cool.

Sleep going irregular (like sleeping during the day and less at night) is no bad thing. With a newborn it is a case of 'sleep when you can'. So you're just getting yourself ready for chunks of sleep whenever.

[user1467618369]

Thanks FATE just seen my consultant, she thinks my baby might be breech!!! Okay now I'm shitting it, might have to have a C section if she's breech. Oh goodness I'm a bit scared now. Otherwise have an induction booked for next week. I don't know I love baths!! The heat wasn't too bad yesterday 💕 Hopefully something happens soon oh dear what is my Little one doing 🙈 Xx

[Alfieisnoisy]

Have hey arranged a scan to see if your DD is lying in a breech presentation?

[user1467618369]

She's in the right position- wasn't breech, yes just had scan and another sweep- I'm 2cm dilated!!! 😊 and I've just lost my bloody show!! Hurrah I'm so excited!! My OB said my bishops score is 4 and baby's weight is 9lbs! So doesn't look like it's going to much longer xx

[Lj8893]

Bishops score of 4 is definitely going in the right direction, I would think you will be in established labour within 48 hours, hopefully!

[Meowlster]

Just came across this thread, how exciting, hopefully it won't be much longer now!
You have my every sympathy for the pains... Before I read your last update I was wondering if the baby was somehow in an awquard position and labour couldn't progress but the scan would have spotted that (and that's from someone who had one breech, one transverse, difficult children and I didn't even get braxton hicks let alone any contractions so I know nowt! )
Anyway, the very best of luck!