Hyperemesis Support

[LucindaE]

I hope everyone suffering from the Horrors of Hyperemesis will find this thread useful as a source of support and information.
There's no TMI on here - can't be by definition - and nobody should feel ashamed of moaning as much as they feel the need to.

MOH's wonderful website is full of useful information on this illness:
//sites.google.com/site/pregnancysicknesssos/
Another invaluable website is:
//www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk

If you need help in obtaining medication, this phone number is
brilliant:
024 7638 2020

Lastly, the NICE guidelines on treatment are useful:
//cks.nice.org.uk/nauseavomiting-in-pregnancy#!scenario

I would like to thank everyone who has given such invaluable support and advice on this and on previous threads.

Remember when you are at your worst, 'This Too Shall Pass'. It really will.
So many women on this thread have thought they couldn't get through this, but they did.

[RaeSkywalker]

Thanks Sleepy. I've given in for the week now. I'm beyond tired, DH is out tonight so I'm just going to go to bed I think. Just want to sit and cry!

Signorita cyclizine makes me sleepy too. I'd embrace it- think of it as recovery time!

[RaeSkywalker]

Oh no Lucinda, another IT nightmare for you. I'm only 21+5 so won't have mat leave until the end of October I think 😩

[LucindaE]

Ray That is disappointingly far away, so you must be kind to yourself, as it doesn't seem as if your workplace is grateful if you do work yourself too hard.

[icklekid]

Signorita think a lot of people find cyclazine to make them very tired- if its unsustainable do try something else, you can always go back!

rae end of October does feel like a lifetime away- is all your holiday booked? Just wondered if you could reduce down to a 4 day week using it? Otherwise make some kind of financial plan so are fully paid the weeks that count towards maternity pay (20-28 weeks?) And then take the hit for working reduced hours until 36 weeks (please don't try and work any later!)

lucinda I hate it when I type messages and lose them! Happens far to often to me...

Well despite the mn hatred of them soft play saved me yesterday! It was raining in the afternoon and ds wanted to go out- there is a local soft play I've not been too for ages so thought would take ds. He entertained himself for hours there! Plus I got chatting to other parents also there by themselves (1 I work with his wife so did vaguely know!) Was just a lovely relaxed afternoon drinking tea whilst ds wore himself out. Will definitely be doing this more often on mat leave with baby! Have always been scared to go by myself but not anymore! Another bonus...woke up at 4.30am this is a proper lie in for me! Have told dh he is responsible for ds all weekend as I need to rest...4 more days of work (mon-wed then following mon) and I'm on mat leave which is good...but does mean no more childcare...which is less good! Focusing on getting this baby out sooner though and the chaos that will then ensue!

[RaeSkywalker]

Morning all! Had a bit of an awful night last night, poor DH got into bed and I burst into tears- think I'm just really over tired and sad about how rubbish life is at the moment. Feeling very alone and worried that I've really messed up my career. And then feel guilty because it sounds like a I regret the baby when I say that. And then feel stupid because I should've anticipated pregnancy being this life changing (I knew life would change after the birth, but not this much before!) It's so unlike me to get upset and cry, the last time I cried properly was when I was in hospital at 7 weeks and the Dr couldn't get a cannula in after trying for half an hour!

ickle I'm thinking I should save my holiday because my maternity pay is a reflection of my pau in the 6 weeks before I finish work. So basically if I'm sick in that time I'll need to take the days as holiday to stop it affecting maternity pay. I mentioned this plan to HR and they said that they'd never stick to the rules like that and see my maternity pay reduced. I don't think I can rely on that being true based on recent events though. Brilliant news about the soft play! Glad that maternity leave is in sight for you. Hope that you have a restful weekend.

[LucindaE]

Rae Poor you, cyber hugs on offer. You are blaming yourself in a typically female way, for what isn't your fault. Only the honoured few get Hyperemesis - might as well look at it that way! So how could it feature in your calculations? And your workplace could have had a good policy on sickness and healthcare- that's their stupid fault if they haven't,as it pays to take care of your workers. So clucks Mother Hen (you can tell I used to be union rep, though sadly it was so long ago I've lost touch with current legislation). If you're so hard working, there's bound to be opportunities in the future, if not for them than for someone else. I'm sure DH said more or less the same as he kept awake!
icklekid Are Mumsnet against soft play areas? I wonder why. I only had access to one for a short time - lol, I mean for my daughter but I'll leave that in to give people a laugh - but I thought it was an excellent way to work off surplus energy on a wet day. Playcentres can be good, too, and adventure playgrounds...

[SpecialStains]

Hello everyone.

I'm feeling much brighter now the antibiotics have properly kicked in. I'm just fed up with how constantly nauseous I feel though.

Rae I'm in a very similar place regarding how I feel like this pregnancy has messed up my career and my masters. I'm really struggling with feeling like such a failure. I briefly met work friends last night for someone's leaving do, and between the insensitive suggestions that they should have a sweepstake on my baby's weight (Ffs, I'm being monitored for growth issues), comments from my boss about how hr told him that 'pregnancy is not an illness' and the fact that junior colleagues are having a qualification paid for and given works time to study for that took me ages to push the department to give me (after working there for 4yrs at the time).

I'm not sure I want to go back, but worried it'll be cutting my nose off to spite my face, my sickness record is shot because of the time off with hg and there's not a huge amount of science jobs in my area.

And while I'm wallowing in self pity, dh has gone mountain climbing today, after having a late one last night for which I was taxi service, and I'm fed up of being fat and pregnant and nauseous and wish he had to stay at home while I went and did nice outdoorsy things.

Ickle glad you had a nice time at soft play with your day, and congratulations on the 4.30 lie in!

Lucinda I hope your tech issues are sorted!

[icklekid]

lucinda I meant in a lighthearted "save me from the hell of soft play" way that read on mn- I think thats more in holiday time when full of rowdy older children than just toddlers messing about anyway!

rae what you say about work makes a lot of sense- would be good to get something in writing about not penalising mat pay if at all possible. I've cried to dh when going to bed more times than I can count- he's learnt to agree, comfort and tell me to go to sleep now!

[icklekid]

Cross post special am not surprised your frustrated at dh going out for day after you were taxi- dh would not even ask!!! As for work, I have moved past frustration that this pregnancy has had on my career and just going to focus on when I go back! A real opportunity came up for promotion just before I was pregnant but knew it wouldn't work for my family...still not sure if right decision but it is what it is. As for what you said rae about not expecting it to have an effect during pregnancy I think the truth is for 99% of women it doesn't- certainly even with bad morning sickness last time it still didn't stop me doing my job. Hg however has been totally different! Part of the reason for only having a couple of years between my 2 is that I then can go back and focus on work again sooner than if there was a 3/4 year gap between them. However I guess you could argue that you have 1 then a long gap to build career up and then go off again...in 10 years time will look back and know there is no right answer! I also know choosing to work part time has a knock on effect in the same way however it's the only way for me to have any work life balance... right ramble over!

[RaeSkywalker]

Thanks Lucinda, I'm feeling a bit better now. Was cheered up significantly when I got a call to say I could collect my wedding and engagement rings (in to be cleaned). Nice to have them back! I didn't realise how filthy they obviously were until I saw them today 🙈 You're right about other opportunities, I just need to stop wallowing in self pity. DH was lovely about it and is being very kind today, bless him.

Special your colleagues sound really insensitive!! I feel your pain on the training, DH paid for his whole qualification, and his work now pay for people to do it 🙄 Would the HG be declared as part of your sickness record? If so that's really unfair. Are we living parallel lives? My DH was out last night (though my best friend found out I was collecting him and offered to bring him home instead- she was there too. What a star), and he's also off playing sports today. I've always been a bit of an exercise fiend so I feel like I'm missing out. It's really hard feeling like you've lost your identity.

[SpecialStains]

Rae My boss has previously told me (without me asking him about references/other jobs - it was almost said as a warning about if I try to apply for other jobs) that he will mention pregnancy related sickness in references.

My masters is stalling, completely unrelated to pregnancy, but I'm sort of feeling like the two male supervisors aren't pushing it because I'm pregnant (having issues with sample collection/patient consent). It's just not helping my general feeling that pregnancy is messing with everything.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm so excited about baby, and really looking forward to meeting him. I think it's just I was happy with my pre-baby life and it's a bit scary realising just how much everything changes (particularly the professional perception of yourself).

Sorry you've been abandoned by your DH going out today too. I'm so fed up with feeling pregnant. I don't like it. I want to eat proper food, and go out and do my normal life without every thought interrupted by me feeling sick.

Ickle Thanks for the wise advice. I know really I can rebuild career after baby, but just feeling a bit sad about all my achievements and hard work so far being so inconsequential in comparison to taking time out to have baby.

Also, so irrationally jealous at how it all has no effect on DH who has only worked part time since qualifying, but it hasn't stopped his partnership/career progression opportunities in the slightest. If anything, because he's 75% time, he's had more opportunities because they assume he has time for them. I went 70% time in January to study for my masters, and have had no end of problems with work.

Okay, rant over. I might go and have a waddle outside to try and get some vitamin D and see if that makes me feel less sad and weepy! I'm trying to think of things I can do on my own today, rather than sitting at home sulking like a petulant teenager. I might go see 'secret life of pets' later on. How sad is it for a heavily pregnant woman to go and see a kids film on her own?!

[RaeSkywalker]

Special that is terrible!! What an awful boss!! Would you have to get a reference from him, or is there an HR 'machine' that deals with it?

I'm not studying but I do understand how you feel about stalling- I was doing so well at work before and really happy! I guess even if you have a textbook pregnancy you have to accept writing off part of your career- I just thought I'd be able to keep going until mat leave! Sounds like we feel the same basically.

I used to go to the cinema a fair bit on my own, I honestly think it's not sad at all! Joel the vitamin D helps.

Is anyone else struggling in the heat? It's so muggy here! Admittedly I am wearing a black smock thing which probably isn't helping!!

[SleepymrsE]

Oh my, i am absolutely shattered. DS has been a handful all day. Think he's coming down with something, sounding chesty and coughing but he's been a nightmare. We had a lovely morning planned which got postponed because he refused to get in the car, and said he wanted to go back in the house. Once in the house, he wanted to go out. In the end I turned the engine off and DH and I listened to him tantrum for a good 30 mins. In the end I took him to bed and he fell asleep cuddled up to me. He's not been much better this afternoon either. I am so exhausted, in bed now with very swollen feet/ankles once again. I am seriously worrying how will I ever cope with 2 DCs! At times today I just wanted to cry!

Sorry to hear you're so down rae, I think husbands / partners become used to us crying. Mine realises it's par for the course now. However, you have every right to get frustrated with work. It is tough, I wonder if I want to stay in the same job after this baby but worry I won't be able to find something offering the hours/flexibility that I get but I don't want to give up my time with the kids so full time wouldn't work. I have accepted that until they are in school my career will take a hit.

ickle, hope your DS is ok now after the sting incident and that he's behaving better than mine. I am hoping the garden, sunshine and paddling pool will be my saviour in the morning!

special hope you enjoy the film if you go, it looks good. Nothing wrong with going although I'd struggle to sit for any length of time in cinema chairs without feeling so uncomfortable.

I know this week is going to be long & hard at work. I think it will take its toll but I will only have 29 working days left til mat leave (not til mid sept) but with odd hol days I have it seems manageable. Finishing work at 36.5 weeks. Didn't finish until 38 weeks last time and DS arrive early so didn't give me much time to chill at home. Think I will desperately need it this time round.

[SleepymrsE]

So shattered = run to the bathroom sick! Aargh. Just when I think I have this thing cracked.

[RaeSkywalker]

Sleepy Sounds like you've had an awful day. I hope your DS wakes up feeling better tomorrow and the cough doesn't develop into anything. It's difficult thinking about the best thing to do. At the moment I'm thinking I'd like to go back full time, at least full time hours but maybe compressed into 4 days. I'm sure I'll feel differently when the baby arrives though.

I think it sounds like you need time before the baby arrives, definitely. Very sensible to finish earlier than with your DS!

[icklekid]

Oh sleepy I have days like that and also fear coping with 2! Luckily dh has taken ds out this morning and bought his a train pack extension so he then played with that until nap time. Having some time set aside to rest makes a big difference- both mentally, physically and to sickness levels! However tantrums do happen and 3 times ds screamed inconsolably as he wanted me to do something not dh...hate the clingyness and he needs to learn that very soon mummy won't be able to or certainly won't be if dh is around! Glad your finishing work earlier... don't mention baby coming early. Dh and I were talking about this and in our head with have 6 weeks still to get ready we haven't really considered this might not be the case! Hope ds is feeling a bit better or if he has gone down with something that you can both just have a day of cuddles on the sofa. Don't try and do too much as poorly children+activity never ends well!

special I too just want to eat normal food, be able to sit on a sofa and slouch, to not feel constantly drained and fed up. To have some energy...then I remember the sleep deprivation to come 😉 you will get your life back- it just may take a while. You will also be able to prioritise your career, you may just want a different time scale post dc than you had thought. You may not and that is fine too! As for cinema I would love a couple of hours rest with a big ice cream in an air conditioned room so why not go for it? Maybe sit on end of row incase you need toilet breaks....!

rae as far as working hours are concerned I think it depends on the job and what is managable but you don't need to decide yet. A lot of my nct friends went back part time but built up to full time using holiday and other options. Long term they couldn't do part time but company were happy for them to build up to it over 4/5/6 months which made the transition a lot easier. Worth thinking about. It's not been that hot here yesterday but meant to be worse today (sunday) I found a paddling pool great last pregnancy and generally doing as little as possible eating ice lollies (ultimate hg diet comes into its own!)

Well I managed 4.45am this morning and bonus ds isn't awake yet! However our smoke alarm battery has gone so hearing that annoying beep every few mins. Dh is determined we should redecorate our front room pre baby (having just finished extension and back rooms) so we spent ages looking at sofas before coming home and realising a lot of the options we were considering will just swamp the room. The whole point of doing this is because the gigantic sofa in there at the moment (which I love!) Swamps the room so would be no better off... after lots of going round in circles we may be looking at more tomorrow! I thought the idea of going out and sitting down sounded appealing however when out realised that a lot of getting up from sofas whilst heavily pregnant was much less fun! Sickness seems to be touches wood and crosses fingers under control at the moment. I think mainly because I'm being very cautious about doing too much/anything! Just taking it very slow and not allowing ds to make me feel bad for not doing too much- he's happy, I'm not sick so I'm happy and sometimes I even manage a proper meal at lunch time!

[Jodders]

Hi all, I posted over on other thread I'll copy the post across. I really need help!

[Jodders]

I can't do this. I can't cope. I'm vomiting all day / night. Haven't kept anything down today. Now I have a bit of diarrhea too. Feel I should go to the hospital but I would have to get a taxi there and I'm just not able for that right now. Travel makes the sickness worse. Feel like a big sweaty, mess.

Thanks for replying ickle.
I'm 10 weeks. I'm about 40 mins from hospital.

[squeezed]

Waves everyone. Just wanted to pop in as I've been thinking of you all today. So sorry to read so many of you struggling at the moment. When I've had people saying to me how tired I must be with newborn and Dd, all I can say is that it's better than being pregnant. I really is.
I just wanted to say that the relentlessness of HG and how it puts your life on hold, does go. I cam empathise with the detrimental effect on your career; mine did. However, there is time afterwards to start pushing forwards afterwards. Plus any work will seem easy after you've managed with HG.
Hang in there everyone. Remember, it does get better and the sickness really does go. Keep using this thread it's a life saver.

[Jodders]

On my way to the hospital now. I'm just a bringing up green mucus now. So I phoned and they said yes come over for the drip. Fingers crossed it helps everyone!

[icklekid]

jodders I'm really pleased your going into hospital as was really worried. Let us know how you get on there. Hope you have a book and can get some rest. Being rehydrated will make a hige difference.

squeezed thanks for popping back lovely to hear from you. Glad your doing well with newborn and dd (you've given me hope I may survive!) Enjoy the cuddles

[mrsmonkey14]

Just a quick one to jodders - well done, hospital is the right place for you right now, I know thought of journey must have been awful but hopefully you will be there soon and they can take over and get you fixed up with a drip. I promise you will feel so much better post drip.

I'm sorry I can't remember - do you have any support/ who do you live with? Can anyone visit you later in hospital? Sending unmumsnetty hugs.

Quick wave to everyone else, sorry to hear of tantrumming toddlers (I hear you!!!!), busy days and shit bosses/HR. I will try to reply properly later.

I'm doing ok, the respite from vomiting has continued although yesterday afternoon we went to a pub (I know! An actual pub!) to give DD tea and I actually felt hungry and ate most of a veggie burger. 2yo DD ate all my chips, having rejected her own nutritious meal (we are terrible parents). However I think it was too ambitious as felt awful last night, but managed not to vomit. I had somewhat rashly cut down meds as feeling so much better but I've realised I do need them and prob no point cutting down with a week to go!

Still anxious, and fretting about sleepless newborn stage. Don't want to see or speak to anyone other than DD and DH. Ive realised that I've probably been a bit depressed these last few weeks.

Aargh must get off phone. Back later. X

[RaeSkywalker]

Thanks for the work tip ickle! Glad that your sickness is more controlled- your DH sounds like a glutton for punishment with the decorating, I've been put off for life by our refurbishment! It took us over s year to find the 'right' sofa, it was surprisingly hard!

Jodders I was just typing a message to say please go to hospital. I'm glad that you are! I felt so much better within a couple of hours of going on the drip. Hopefully you will too. Thinking of you.

squeezed lovely to hear from you! It's nice to be reminded that HG isn't forever (though it has made this feel like the longest pregnancy in the world, and I'm only 22 weeks!)

mrsmonkey well done on the pub trip! Sorry you felt sick afterwards though. I agree- no point cutting down now. Apart from anything else you don't want to have the HG at its worst and then go into labour! Have you talked to your midwife about how anxious you feel?

[LucindaE]

Jodders Sorry I missed your drama, having been out today. Thank goodness that the commendable icklekid caught your message on the other thread, and that you're probably getting treatment even as I type. You certainly sounded in a very bad way and I hope you soon start to feel lots better.
Hope everyone is coping on this, the first hot day for a couple of weeks in Wales, but I believe it's been hot down South. Much sympathy for all having to cope with tantrums. My daughter once went on four forty-five minutes - to deal with that and Hyperemesis is no joke at all.

[LucindaE]

SleepymrsE Sorry about returned sickness, probably due to fatigue after that virtuoso performance from LO.
squeezed So lovely to hear from you. Am I right in thinking you battled on travelling in the rush hour, and suffered horribly on escalators? It's so nice that's a distant memory for you now.
Jodders ickklekid and ray and mrsmonkey and everyone as below...