How do you respond to insensitive comments about the size of your bump?

[BrummieOnTheRun]

"Ooooh, aren't you HUGE! Are you sure it's not twins?"

This still irritates me even though I'm on #3! Anyone come up with some gentle, or not so gentle, responses?!!

I used to get that. I would just look at them, with a straight face and not collude in their rudness by laughing it off. I found that if I just looked at them impassively for long enough they would realise that they were in a bit of a hole and change the subject. Or, other option, was to "confide" in them how much it got me down that everyone just kept making comments about me.

I would say "well I'm huge because I'm pregnant, what's your excuce?"

i must be weird because i revel in it

love pg bumps

r u always so rude?

better than being fat like u?

sensitivity's not yr strong point is it?

U must be the 5th person today to say that?

I got this comment with my pregnancies and it drove me nuts, actually people just thinking it's ok to comment to a stranger drives me nuts. sorry they're not tactful ones

Yet to come up with an answer to that one, I'm afraid.

Will watch this thread with interest.

How quickly will we have a 'you're lucky to be pregnant. Stop whinging.' comment?

I don't think it's meant to be a mailcious comment.Take it as a compliment that you have a healthy baby.

It is annoying, but the thing is, they really are trying to think of something nice to say rather than 'Good Lord, you're the size of a truck', which is what they're thinking.

The 'confiding' option used by beasprout is a good one.

lol....i remember when i was 4m pg when i start to show a bump and onr of my friend said "Oh you arent that big to be 4m pg".... at the end of the pg everyone was convinced that i was carrying twins as i was HUUGGEEE!

The other one is 'Oh, it's because I'm so slim, it makes my bump look bigger'

it was always said to me, i was massive at 5 months with dd.
you could always retort.
no not twins, triplets.
or well actually the baby was due last week..ouch is that a contarction.
or
actually i had the baby 2 weeks ago

My PIL used to make comments like that to me. However, since he is enormously fat (think of the austin powers films - the fat guy in those) I used to just say
"Well, i have an excuse, you don't. you're just fat". He didn't like it one bit

Have to add a suffer with depression and it got very bad when pregnant. People assume it's ok to make all these little comments cpmpletely unaware that all you want to do is slit your wrists; it is hard to smile off day in day out etc.

Oh, that is brilliant, spacecadet! I'm using the "I had the baby 2 weeks ago" IMMEDIATELY!

I always got the opposite

"ooo your not very big are you?"

to which I used to reply

"no, lovely isnt it. Means I'll slip back to my pre-preg size in no time at all"

why do people feel they have to comment on pregnant bumps????

i suffer from insecurities with body image so it took a long time to accept that i would be gaining weight.
it worries me when people tell me how small my bump is when i am due in 6 weeks. i think the baby is not growing and always say something ot the mw about it but they reassure me that i ma normal, just small built with a small baby.
i have my boss at work who calls me tubby yet he is a coronary waiting to happen!

I think when people comment on the size of your bump they are only making conversation they do not feel they are commenting on you but on your pregnancy iyswim.

It didn't really bother me when people made comments about my bump but it did get to me when they commented on other areas. One of my close friends said to me "why have you put weight on in other places your face has got really fat your legs are huge and from behind your bum looks like Dawn French!" I was just so gobsmacked I did not know how to reply. Apparantly when she gets pregnant she is going to have one of those neat little compact bumps!

hmmm i got

'are you sure you are really pregnant?' at 30weeks+ as i didnt have a bump [wails]

Of course it's not meant to be malicious (usually), and of course people are just trying to think of something to say.

But it could be argued that by finding an appropriately tactful response to let the person know their comment is not appreciated, it might make them think twice abot how they phrase things in future.

Acceptable comments include:

'You look beautiful!'
'Pregnancy really suits you'
'You've got your glow: great skin'
etc.

Bethoo, I used to get the "you're not very big" comments too. -

• "You're not very big are you? Is the baby ok?"

• "Err, well, it hadn't occurred to me to worry about that, but now you've mentioned it ..."

The 5th time someone said that I said "Is your brain not very big, or is your mouth just too large?" which had the desired effect. I was very hormonal and the politeness reflex had gone awol!

(small babies are fantastic - everyone thinks they are younger than they are, and therefore very advanced/clever!)

Yes. Amd you're fugly. But once I havethe baby, MY bump will go

Classic comment I had was "Gosh - I didn't even know you were pregnant..." from a brainless work colleague. Wouldn't have been so bad but I had my dd two days later... Wasn't aware that I had looked 38wks pg for the previous five years I'd worked with her! Doncha also love those people who view pg as an excuse to plaster their hands all over your stomach, uninvited? If only they knew the danger they were in...

'im pregnant- whats your excuse?'

I've had that in first preg, now with second (26weeks) and the comments have started - so I want to be ready. I used to just smile and nod, but this time around I want to try a few new lines.

'Well I'm expecting a baby not a goldfish'
'don't forget there's also space in there for the kidneys, the liver,the large intestins, the small intestins, the bladder, the stomach, the lungs!.........'
'You just wait, at least I was slim before I got pregnant...'
'Yes, I'm big, I'm fat, I'm hormonal and I'm depressed. You've just pushed me over the edge. Boohooohooo.'
How about 'do you actually realise that this comment is hurtful. Can't you say something nice instead?' or is that too direct?

On the same day I had " are you sure it's not twins", "you're not very big" and someone who failed to notice that I was 8 months pg at all. None of these people had a clue how far on I was to judge if it was big/small/just a big lunch, but still found it necessary to comment. People just look around for something to say relating to your pg.

I actually had a conversation with a colleage that went:
"I see you're expecting, I didn't know you were married"
"I'm not"
"You'll be getting married then ?"
"No"
"Oh so it'll be an illegitimate bastard then ?"

I have not spoken to this person since.

There really is no end to people's insensitivity. I've been having pelvic problems from early on and have had trouble walking about, and the number of people, friends, colleague, even DP, who have had a good laugh at my difficulties in moving about just beggars belief. I have also been shocked by total strangers staring at me in the street, passing comment and bump rubbing. You seem to just become public property because you are pregnant. It can be quite intimidating, esp. when you are feeling extra vulnerable due to reduced mobility etc.

Take my advice just ignore the lot of them, they are just opening thier mouths and letting anything come out. Your MW is the only qualified to comment on whether your are big or small and just ignore the rest.