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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnancy after miscarriage

19 replies

shopaholic85 · 01/04/2016 06:30

Is anyone else pregnant again after miscarriage(s)? I had an early mc in Jan at 6 weeks and now 4 weeks pregnant again.

I want to feel excited, but I just can't shake the fear that I will miscarry again. I'm very conscious of cm and keep thinking I'm bleeding, so have been running to the loo a lot to check. Also, my mc started with back ache, so any twinges in my back fill me with anxiety.

How will I cope over the next 8 months?

OP posts:

ktkaye · 01/04/2016 06:55

Me. I had a mmc in November last year, currently 7+2 and terrified. You aren't alone. Everything is scary, I am jumping at every twinge and panicking when I have a day when my symptoms are less... I realised something was wrong last time when my symptoms faded. Told myself I was over reacting because I was't bleeding or anything but when it came to the scan things had stopped the day I noticed a change.
Trying to take this pregnancy one day at a time. Congratulations by the way 💐
Do you find having had a mc before that some of the joy is sucked out of the next BFP? I so desperately want to be excited but I can't over ride the fear xxx

duxb · 01/04/2016 07:25

You really aren't alone on this - and it's perfectly natural. I had a MMC in January at 11 weeks - baby had stopped at 6 weeks. I was inbetween scans with the EPU and it happened at home. Had a negative pregnancy test at the end of January and a periodic February and am 6 weeks pregnant today. We are thrilled but in shock and the shock and anxiety is outweighing the joy. My boobs aren't that sore, I haven't been sick etc and everything makes us both anxious. As it stands I go off the rationale that today - I'm pregnant and that's a great thing. If something does happen - and I pray it doesn't - then there's nothing anyone can do to stop it. Just try you're best to take it all day at a time X

Northernlight22 · 01/04/2016 10:32

Definitely not alone - theres a thread on here where we all lurk and have wobbles about every twinge or symptom so come along and join in. It's kept me remotely sane these last few months!

I had my mc last year, now 12 weeks pregnant. It's definitely different this time and the anxiety doesn't go away, but it does get easier when you've got others to talk to in the same boat 😊

Original poster

shopaholic85 · 01/04/2016 10:57

Thank you all for your kind responses and I'm so sorry for your losses

duxb, you're so right. I have no control over tomorrow. So today I am going to enjoy being pregnant. It was so short-lived last time I didn't get to really enjoy it.

I feel very lucky that I was able to conceive so quickly after my mc and what happens will happen. I have found the other thread, and reading other people's experiences is really helping me to not feel alone.

OP posts:

iloveberries · 01/04/2016 11:11

All totally normal.
I am 12 weeks now after 3 losses in a row.
I was a nervous wreck throughout and am still not "relaxed".
The only things I found remotely helpful:

Eating really well and feeling I was doing all I could.
Scan at 9 weeks to break up the wait to 12 weeks.
Not letting myself get excited! I just couldn't cope with the thought that it might work this time, incase it didn't.

To be honest I felt I was just waiting for it all to go wrong again but so far it all seems ok.

Pregnancy after a loss is never the same but there is every reason to be hopeful 💐

TheGreaterGood · 01/04/2016 11:50

Feeling for you! I had 4 MCs prior to this pregnancy and it was really only after 20 weeks (now 25 weeks) that we started to believe that we're actually having a baby! I felt terribly anxious and combined with morning sickness and tiredness (and moving house and buying a new business) the first 12 weeks felt pretty grim to be honest. BUT it does get better...

An early scan at 8 weeks really helped reassure me and when your baby starts kicking, you'll find that reassuring too. So hopefully the anxiety won't last through your whole pregnancy!

Best of luck and if you can afford a private scan at 8 weeks I would totally recommend it. The chance of MC plummet once you've seen a heartbeat at that stage.

kiki22 · 01/04/2016 13:59

Totally normal. My first pg was a spontaneous mc all the way through my next pregnancy I was worried and anxious I had a bleed that time at around the same time as my mc and had totally accepted that I was mc again only to see a strong little heartbeat my son is 4 now, I'm 19 weeks pregnant again and everything is going well baby kicking away from 15 weeks weeks but I still feel anxious and worried a lot of the time.

Once you see the scan you will feel a bit better and once you get kicks you will feel better again, I don't think anyone who has lost will ever feel totally relaxed during pregnancy you just need to do your best to try and think positive and enjoy it.

Original poster

shopaholic85 · 03/04/2016 15:05

After reading your responses, I booked an early scan for 3 weeks time. I will be 7.5 weeks. The woman at the private clinic said I had the option of an internal scan or an ultrasound. I'm thinking an internal one at this stage, but not sure what's best.

OP posts:

ktkaye · 03/04/2016 16:32

I think internal generally gives a better picture early on. If you haven't had one before it's not as intimidating as it might sound, it's not painful. Perhaps a bit embarrassing if you've not had anything like it before but the sonographer has seen it all plenty of times. Just try not to be thrown by the fact they put a condom on the probe beforehand (I was totally Unprepared for that bit!) and take a panty liner for after - the lubricant they use seems to melt a bit and I had soggy knickers after (sorry if TMI). You could always ask for an abdominal scan first just in case they can get a picture that way? Good luck!

wonkylegs · 03/04/2016 16:40

I had a late mmc last year and am now 35wks pregnant. It is hard to shake the feeling that something will go wrong and I will admit that I have found this pregnancy hard emotionally. My consultant booked me in for an extra reassurance scan at 17wks as this was the date we lost the last one which helped (I didn't tell anyone up to this point) and compared with my pregnancy with DS I've been much more cautious about caffeine, cheese, alcohol etc. I still have points of tremendous worry which is kinda daft as I get scans every 2wks (medical condition) which have so far shown no cause for concern but it is much more unsettling and I have had to just take each day as it comes. I will be glad when this one pops out safe and sound.

Sophia1984 · 03/04/2016 20:19

Me. Had a blighted ovum discovered at 7 weeks in August. Now 22 weeks pregnant. First baby's due date would have been 10th April so am feeling a bit sad about that, and have been quite anxious this pregnancy, but am coping! And so will you. Most miscarriages are just rotten luck and no reason why this pregnancy won't be a healthy one. It's just that the naivety that some people have with their pregnancy is no longer there, as we know what can go wrong. You just have to take it a day at a time, a week at a time, and try and enjoy it! I didn't let myself get excited so didn't keep a diary for the first 12 weeks and regret that now. I've also found that midwives and sonographers are extra lovely if you tell them you are a bit nervous because you've had a previous loss.

Original poster

shopaholic85 · 04/04/2016 08:20

Thanks ktkaye. I think I will go for an internal scan. I had one when I had my mc and, though it was sad, it wasn't painful. Will remember to take a panty liner with me! And socks - my main memory from last time was cold feet.

And thank you for being honest wonkylegs and sorry for your loss Best of luck for the birth. I can't imagine being 7 weeks, let alone 35!

Sophia, will you do something to mark the due date? We bought a beautiful plant for ours and watching it grow is a real comfort. I am not sure I will mark the due date, but will probably do something to mark the day we lost our little one.

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FlourishingMrs · 04/04/2016 21:39

Hi shopaholic had a miscarriage in Dec, currently 6.2 days. Had private early scan and great to see the heartbeat and it all looks ok. Found it very reassuring. Even though I have been having brown spotting.

Will now stop knicker checking until 12 weeks (I hope)

Original poster

shopaholic85 · 05/04/2016 10:30

Flourishing, that's great news! I've read that brown spotting is completely normal, but can imagine, for someone who has had an mc, it's hard to not feel anxious.

I have 19 days until my private scan and hope that I will finally get to hear a heartbeat. I have no symptoms other than sensitive nipples so I am feeling a little worried. I ended up taking another pg test this morning, just to convince myself that I hadn't imagined the last one. It was a strong positive again, so feel a little reassured.

OP posts:

Betasheets · 24/05/2016 17:19

Is this thread still active?

It's the only way to get some support - thank you for reading.

I had a MM rather dramatically - had an early scan with a heart beat showing 6 weeks, 2 weeks later I had some bleeding whilst away in india at a family wedding (!) and had to have a scan and ERPC whilst out there. The pregnancy had stopped at 6 weeks (despite the scan).
All in all rather traumatic. That was all the end of feb. I'm not just over 7 weeks from my last period with 2 positive tests.

I am trying not to think about it, but I can't help it. Every morning i'm not nauseous I'm worried. It's really awful....

Now trying to debate on whether to get any form of early scan or just leave it :-/

Original poster

shopaholic85 · 13/06/2016 14:12

Sorry for your loss and congratulations. Did you go for an early scan? I found mine really helped with the anxiety. I'm now 14+4 and starting to believe that this one will stick.

OP posts:

Emyloohoo · 13/06/2016 17:44

I am 29 weeks after a loss at 14 weeks last July. The anxiety and fear has not left, even though we made it past the second trimester this time. I've been coping with therapy, and trying to picture a healthy delivery.

I will say the thing that has helped the most is the idea that you just give as much love as you can to little baby despite your fear, because if it's the only time you have with them then they deserve your love, and if everything goes well (hopefully it does) then it will help you bond. I don't know, it's a struggle. Good luck xx

10storeylovesong · 13/06/2016 17:59

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Tinklypoo · 13/06/2016 18:04

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