So basically I fell unexpectedly pregnant with baby #3. We already have two kids 11 and 8 and were done having anymore. We were using condoms and were very careful but somehow I managed to fall pregnant again. My husband was horrified and demanded I have an abortion. I was shocked at the fact I was pregnant but it never would have entered my mind to do such a thing. Anyway we fought for weeks and I've never cried so much in my life. I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't live with the guilt of killing a wee innocent baby. He even threatened to leave me. I told him I wasn't getting an abortion and that was that so eventually he said, 'look one of us is not going to get what we want and it might as well be me' so fast forward to now. I'm 27 weeks pregnant. He's been to both scans (it took a lot of coaxing and tears from me for him to go), he was the one to tell the kids about this baby, he even participates in baby naming convos with the kids and I but other than that he completely ignores the fact I'm pregnant. He hasn't once asked me how I am or felt the baby move. He never speaks about this child and goes to all costs to avoid touching anywhere near my belly. I know he still doesn't want this baby and it's scaring me that he won't want it when he/she is here. I've enjoyed every wee milestone of this pregnancy silently on my own because he doesn't want to know. It's breaking my heart that he's like this. I feel guilty that I've 'forced' him to be a father again when clearly he doesn't want to be but I don't think I could have stayed with him if he made me get an abortion not to mention the impact it would have had on my mental health. So I guess I'm just looking support and advice for someone. Have any of you been in this situation and your husband has fallen in love with ur baby once it's born? Should I find out the sex next week at my last scan to help him bond or would it be better as a surprise in the delivery room ? Hubby won't even be at next scan (growth scan) as he wont take anymore time of work and clearly doesn't want to be there anyway. Any advice would be great thank u
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Pregnancy
27 weeks pregnant with our third child and husband still doest want it
Summ3r · 24/02/2016 11:19
I think he has thought his way into a corner and now needs to find a way out. He has trapped himself there and maybe in time he will find the exit, or try counselling or talking to someone about it.
It has happened and he needs to find the best way to carry on. There is no guarantee that an abortion would have put you both back into the same position as you were before you became pregnant. It would have changed your relationship too, just like having the baby will. He probably isn't seeing this.
You try and make the right decisions and try and control your way through life, but it fights back sometimes 
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