HG in 2nd pregnancy - how and when to tell DD?

[lokahsamastah]

Just wondering how other HG sufferers have dealt with this - DD is 4 and I had HG with her, had to have IV fluids, in and out of hospital. Obviously I would prefer to keep if from her until we've had a healthy scan (she will be so excited to be a big sister!) but I'm already starting to feel rubbish at 5+4. As there's a high chance of HG putting in a repeat performance I'm interested to hear how other families have addressed this to minimise distress as much as possible.

I don't have children, but on one of the hg blogs I've read, there's a book for children called how to be a hg hero. Can't vouch for it, but might be useful.

www.spewingmummy.co.uk/hg-shop/

I didn't have HG but the morning sickness started at week 4 and I was fairly faint, so suddenly I couldn't pick my 3 yr old DS up anymore and we stopped going on long walks and I must have seemed different because of the constant nausea, plus he used to jump on me a lot and I needed to explain why he had to be more gentle with me, so I think I told him straight away and explained how it made me feel poorly as it seemed the only practical option but I was obviously unsure as this meant I might have to explain a miscarriage - but I figured after a previous miscarriage that it was perhaps a good thing to not be hiding them (I remember a consultant reassuring me it was unfortunately common but people don't talk about them and that we all should to remove the stigma\loneliness). But he is 3 so I imagine at 4 it would be a bigger deal to her, maybe an early private scan is the way to go and tell her once you have seen the heartbeat? I guess it depends if she will be upset at you being in hospital and would like some reassurance about why or if she will just accept initially that you are poorly and be reassured that the hospital is making you better? I think the only positive of being ill through pregnancy whilst looking after your first is that it is a great opportunity for them to learn to look after their mummy a bit, about doctors and hospitals etc, sonography etc, it cheered me up after being sick when my son would ask me if I was OK and pat my back, maybe she will enjoy pretending to be a doctor \nurse and looking after you. Best of luck and congratulations x

If you really don't want to tell her about the pregnancy yet, I would explain to her that mummy's sick at the moment (& therefore can't play/please don't jump on me etc. ) but reassure her that you're going to be fine, there's no need to worry, the doctors are looking after you well, you will be completely better within a definite time frame and so on. You could liken it to whatever childhood illness she's had but got over.

Disclaimer: I didn't have HG so I've only had to try this tactic with less serious illness.

Thank you for replying ladies. We decided to tell DD at the weekend as I have been laid on the sofa for most of it and she was starting to worry and ask when I would be better. She's taken it really well and is being very nurturing (as well as milking it for as many episodes of My Little Pony as she can get away with!)