Breast/Bottle feeding....

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Ive posted about breast feeding before on here, but the last few days this has played on my mind so much!! Long post sorry!

I'm pg with my 2nd DS, I tried to BF my first DS but only tried once, he wasn't latching, I was exhausted (very very long labour and traumatic birth) so just asked for a bottle. I wouldn't say I regretted it, but I would have liked to have BF him. He still didn't latch with a bottle properly but at least he was getting something, turns out, at 2 weeks old, the midwife noticed he was putting his tongue on top of the teat of the bottle so his mouth was just filling with milk and then pouring out, meaning he wasn't getting much, hence why he couldn't latch to the breast either. It was a nightmare getting a bottle in his mouth and he fed constantly after this, it would take me over 2 hours to get him to take the smallest amount of milk then winding would take nearly an hour, then he would be ready for the next bottle, a constant cycle, this last all through the night too. The midwife and HV just didn't see any problem with this, they just said that's how he was used to feeding due to the problems in the first 2 weeks. He's now 5 and still has never slept through the night, I still feel the way he fed had contributing factors. The last few nights trying to get him back into a routine after Christmas has been a nightmare, with bedtime taking 2-3 hours, he only then sleeps for an hour before he wakes again, yes we do ignore him, but it doesn't stop him. (sorry this is relevant)

I'm now really panicking about the thought of breast feeding, all I seem to read about and hear about is that babies just breast feed constantly (I have had breast surgery so this may not even be an option yet anyway), and I know "breast is best" and all that, so this may sound a bit selfish, but I'm really worried about it. I already have a 5 yo DS that I need to be ready to drop off and pick up from school, make tea for etc, so I cant just be stuck with a baby constantly attached to the boob! I'm seriously considering bottle feeding to make sure a routine is established and that we will at least get some sleep in between feeds and my older DS waking up. Am I a terrible person for even thinking this? My niece and nephew are both bottle fed, started off at 3 hours but sis in law pushed them to 4, and they are fed and winded within an hour and then she has time in between to do other housework etc. I know this time to look out for the latch problem either BF or FF. Do some breast fed babies at least establish some kind of routine?

It obviously depends on the baby, doesn't it?

Your first was bottle fed, but certainly didn't have anything like the routine that you describe your SIL having. I have EBFed two babies and never had any problems doing nursery runs with a BF baby. They were crappy sleepers, but then you get FFed babies who are crappy sleepers and BFed babies who are doing 10 hours straight from six weeks. It depends entirely on luck.

I couldn't conceive of having to stand around sterilising and making up bottles myself while managing another DC, but then by the time DS2 came along, I was a very experienced BFer and could get him on anywhere, any time, any angle, one-handed while standing if need be while managing the then 2yo DS1. You would be going through the stress of establishing BFing as a first-timer which is tough.

The main thing is that baby gets fed and you cope.

If you do want to try BFing again, it does sound like your DS was probably tongue-tied. It's worth getting your new baby checked ASAP as these things can run in families.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do

Yes, definitely sounds like tongue-tie. Why was this not diagnosed?

And also, yes, breast is best, but unless you live in a third-world country, I'm firmly of the belief that the difference is negligible. It's your sanity that matters most: happy mummy = happy baby. Do what works for you.

But tongue-tie tends to run in families, so make sure your baby doesn't have it - go to a private consultant if you have to.

Thanks, I think I was just having a meltdown moment you are right, it does entirely depend on the baby.

My SIL is ridged with routine, them babies are not fed a minute before or a minute late! to be honest I don't think im that kind of person.

Sterilising/making bottles I had down to a tee, but you are right it is going to be difficult to establish BF as a newbie when I already have a child to look after.

Thanks DS1 wasn't tongue tied, just had trouble realising how to latch, that was one of the first things we got checked when we realised what he was doing. Just hoping this baby doesn't do the same, but at least I know how to look out for it.

Thanks for calming me down lol pregnancy hormones eh!

Thanks good, great point, sanity is a really important factor.

You have to do what makes you happy. Every baby is different, some will be better on formula, others on breast. I personally am not a fan of strict routines early on, I breastfed on demand, my cousin has just had her third and has to manage the breastfeeding around the school runs etc, her baby does clusterfeed sometimes but she does manage to get on with it, her first two were mainly bottle fed.

If you really want to breastfeed you could set yourself small targets, say you'll do it for a month and then see how you feel once that first month is up.

I myself introduced a bottle of expressed milk in the first two weeks and she had one a day and an occasional bottle of formula in the first few months, but mainly breastfed. I then went back to exclusively breastfeeding for a few months as it was easier than sorting a bottle or expressing.

I did it this way because it suited me at the time. Everyone is different. Good luck with whatever you decide to do :)

A lot depends on the baby.

Breastfeeding with DS1 completely failed. He wouldn't even attempt to suck without nipple shields, and there were lots of problems with supply (not a lack of milk being produced, as became clear when I tried expressing, more DS1's inability to get it out of the breast). So I switched to bottle feeding quite early with DS1. His sleep patterns were all back to front until about 4 -5 months, then he turned into quite a good little sleeper.

DS2 was a completely different story. There were some initial problems because of jaundice, but he took to breastfeeding like a duck to water once the jaundice started to clear. We breastfed mostly on demand. He did breastfed a lot at first - which is normal - but this did settle down and his feeds got more spaced out as he got older. He settled himself into a feeding pattern that fitted nicely around DS1's nursery run after a few months.
DS2's sleeping has always been fantastic, but I think whether a baby is a good sleeper or not is down to luck rather than how they're fed.