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Pregnancy

told I couldnt have children, now 6 weeks pregnant and my partner doesnt want it

82 replies

peepsxx · 05/01/2016 17:25

Hey, I dont know if things like this are talked about here, but im breaking. Im 28 and so is my partner. Its a verynew relationship of only a year. We both unfortunately live with our parents, finance is not great due to him starting a new career, our lives are not great to bring a child into it. The problem is I have 2 blocked tubes, endometriosis and polycystic ovaries and was told this would never happen to me. I broke, mended and got to a point I was ok with this...its taken 8 years mind you! He is absolutely firm on he does not want this child...and there is only 1 decision and I would destroy his life if I go through with it! My family think its a miracle etc...my head is fried...could this be my only chance? Couldi work this out? And if his mind isnt changed how can I destroy someones life I love?

OP posts:

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uhoh2016 · 08/01/2016 09:45

This could be your only chance to have a baby, how would you feel if you aborted then split up and he had a baby in the future with someone else?

If I was in your situation I'd keep the baby. There's never really an ideal time to have a baby whatever your circumstances are a baby turns your whole world up side down. All a baby really needs is love and warmth. If finance is a problem buy 2nd hand things or ask friends family if they've got any baby stuff you can borrow. Your baby won't know or care if it's not got the top of the range stuff it just needs a Mum that loves it. I'm sure your family will be a great support to you.

Be prepared to bring this baby up alone yes it's scary but plenty of people do it. I think he's the selfish one for asking you to give up what could potentially be your only chance to have a baby.

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KeyboardMum · 09/01/2016 00:43

How's it going OP?

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shabbs · 09/01/2016 00:52

This is just my opinion.......BUT I have had four sons...took me and my hubby about four years before I got pregnant. Two of those four boys have died - one a twin with massive heart problems when he was a baby - and my third son was knocked down and killed by a reversing lorry, just before his 8th birthday. On my 40th birthday (when my one surviving son was 16 years old) I felt so ill that I went to the GP. He grinned at me and said 'Happy Birthday, you are pregnant!!!' I sat in front of him and howled crying - imagining the worst possible outcome - my husband was thrilled to bits but I was so very, very scared. My miracle, 'dont know how that happened' son will be 19 this July. He is amazing and has just got his first job - great apprenticeship with wonderful prospects. He just went to bed and said 'Night Mum, love you.' My opinion is to have your baby. xxx

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Illyillyilly · 09/01/2016 01:13

Don't make a decision to please someone that may or may not be in your life in the future. YOU will always be in your life. Make the decision that pleases you.

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shabbs · 09/01/2016 01:27

Oh my message sounds so 'I know what Im doing' - didnt mean it to sound like that - just follow your heart x

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acatcalledjohn · 09/01/2016 10:52

Whatever you do, do it because YOU want to.

This is your body, therefore your choice. You either have an abortion (not without risk), or continue with the pregnancy (not without risk). You have genuine medical issues that in theory should prevent you from pregnancy. You did not trick him in to anything. He doesn't have to be involved. So at the end of the day the decision is yours, and yours only.

And remember: Any partner who puts pressure on you and tugs at your heart strings to get you to do right by them instead of you are not relationship material.

FWIW: DP and I don't want kids. During a pregnancy scare all he did was support me and tell me that he'd support me and raise a child should I decide against an abortion.

That is the only way a partner should react.

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mrsjskelton · 11/01/2016 10:21

How would you feel if you terminated this child, your relationship failed and you tried again when someone else to find you couldn't conceive? I agree this is a joint decision but you need to think of your future happiness and the fact that you WERE told this wouldn't be easy/wouldn't happen.