Any good retorts to comments about your size in pregnancy?

[loosechange]

So it's started already. Various comments about how big I am, and how I am going to be massive. Either to my face, or passed on by helpful friends. (Why do you think I want to know?!)

Does anyone have any good retorts they can share; the ones I can think of come across as a rant, which will then have me dismissed as "hormonal."

I feel quite strongly it shouldn't matter whether I am a size 8 having gained 4 lbs, or a size 18 having gained 40 lbs, people don't have the right to comment about my size (other than my midwife).

'yes I have put on some weight but this will go once the baby is born' with head tilt and long pointed stare. or just tell the to fuck off.

Smile and nod - safe in the knowledge that your amazing body is GROWING A PERSON whilst their narrow little brains can't think of anything more supportive or interesting to say.

Pregnancy and parenthood are too long to be concerned by what others think or say.

I prefer mrs b's second option... or mums net standard...

Do you mean to be so rude?

"I am so glad you understand too! How far along are you?" to any women of child bearing age. When they declare they aren't pregnant, I would respond with a surprised, "Oh, right then." Whilst giving an obvious side look at their tummy.

Or the standard Mumsnet response works for both genders.

I used to just say politely and disbelievingly (ie aghast at their rudeness), "you think I look big? No, I'm measuring exactly as I should be at this stage".
None of their damn business, so bloody annoying. You'll get other people telling you how "neat" your bump is (and I have never been considered "neat") so make your minds up, people!

I tell them it's gas and the look on their faces is a picture

Threaten to sit on them, squishing them will shut them up

Yesterday I had 'are you expecting twins' and today I had 'you're tiny!'
I said to the second person 'oh someone said I was huge yesterday, everyone's got different ideas...' And she said 'probably depends on what your are wearing'. Its a good point, but people judge on it before knowing how far along you are. I think people just like to have something to say to feel involved, like they would feel rude if they didn't say anything....

blue I love your response! Wish I had the guts to try that one!

I so need this thread - today my boss gleefully announced "you're going to get fat!". "Not as fat as you" was on the tip of my tongue, instead I was polite and said "well I'm still eating healthy and going to the gym 3 times a week, sooo...." and left it hanging in the air that she's not doing any of that

If its a stranger, look them straight in he eye and say "I'm not pregnant".

Lots of people told me how big I was/was it twins/I'd be early and I'd just say "no, im measuring fine but actually I'm just quite fat" and watch them squirm.

bluewisteria best response ever! Haven't laughed so hard in a while

That would be a very satisfying response!

"I'm pregnant, what's your excuse?" - A Friend said this to a guy in burger king after he made a snide comment he thought she didn't hear.

I've recently had a baby, I.was.enormous! There's a bump pic bouncing around on a thread here somewhere, I genuinely was massive!
Anyway people commented every single day about how big I was, how big baby would be, how they couldn't understand how I could even stand up etc etc
In the end my standard response was "well yeah, there's a whole fucking human in there, did you expect I wouldn't gain weight?"