Midwife - when do I have to see him/her?

[AKP79]

Hi

I've just found out I'm pregnant with my second child, which is great. We're planning to share the news with immediate family on Christmas Day. I have a child from a previous relationship and I'm having a horrific time with XP, and this year he's due to have DS from 23rd - 26th Dec which I'm already in bits about, so we thought we'd share our happy news on Christmas Day to help take the edge off the day and give it a new focus.

However, I've just realised that I need to make a midwives appointment, probably before Christmas Day. My mum works for the NHS in this area and it's her job to type up all the notes for expectant mums post midwife appointment. She always knows about pregnancies before they're announced (btw she never ever shares her knowledge, but sometimes when I say so and so is pregnant she'll say 'thank goodness you know I've been worried I'd accidentally say something).

So what do we do? How Long can we postpone our midwife appointment? I had a difficult pregnancy first time round with complications and pre natal depression, so might be foolish to postpone telling a midwife? My DH won't want my mum knowing without his knowing and we had our hearts set on a Christmas Day reveal.

I know it's quite trivial in the grand scheme of things, but not sure what to do.

Thanks xx

Booking in is usually at 8 or 9 weeks so I wouldnt thought you might be able to get away with the week between Christmas and New Year for your appointment, if they are running clinics then? Or could you phone and speak to the MW and ask that she doesnt put your notes through for processing until after Christmas even if you an appointment before? How unfortunate to have a MIL in that job!

Great - going to try the between Christmas and New Year approach!

It's actually my mum that does the job, but as soon as she knows then my DH will want his mum to know and I'm really keen to just enjoy our bubble until Christmas and share our news then.

Just one thing to consider if delaying putting notes through is thinking about whether or not you will want the screening for Downs as that is time sensitive so a delay in generating your dating scan could cause you to miss the boat although there is another blood test you can have later on.

I hadn't thought of that. We would have the baby regardless of how the Downs test came back (we've already discussed this) but we would still have the test so that we could be prepared.

I'm going to call the midwives today and discuss it with them. Why oh why does my mum need to do that job!!??

If you know that you wouldn't want to terminate, whatever the outcome, then it is less complicated as you can have the quadruple test instead which gives you a high or low risk like the NT screening does and can be done later if you miss the window for the NT screening, it just means that if you have difficult decisions to make then you are further on in your pregnancy byt he time you've had diagnostic testing etc, but it sounds like that isn't an issue for you.

Anyhow,I'm sure the midwives with find a solution for you!

Also bear in mind what demand is like in your area. I rang to confirm when I need to make the appointment at 5 weeks and she took my details straight away because they are so busy... my appointment isn't until December by which point I'll be 10 weeks but they can't get me in any sooner so I'm glad I didn't leave it too late.

I have just spoken to the midwives and they were wonderful about my plight... So my mum is having from 21st December off and my DS is going to his dad's on 23rd, so they've booked me in for 23rd, so that I've got something happy to look forward to on a day when I might be emotional and so that my mum won't see the notes until the new year!

Love it when a plan comes together :)

Brilliant! Glad youve found a way to get it sorted :-)