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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When did you start feeling love for your baby/bump?

22 replies

BettyBi0 · 06/11/2015 18:07

Despite this pregnancy being very much planned and longed for, I'm really struggling to feel any connection or love for my baby. I'm almost 15 weeks so appreciate that it's still early days but last pregnancy with DD1 I felt an amazing love and excitement right from the get-go.

When did your happy hormones start to kick in?

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babyblues19 · 06/11/2015 18:09

When movements were established, I got fiercely protective and just fell in love with my bump :)

Candlesonthetable · 06/11/2015 18:25

With DD1 I felt overwhelming love from the word go, with this current pregnancy it has only started in the last week and I am 38 weeks!

JoeMommuh · 06/11/2015 18:27

Number 3 here and I don't think it'll kick in till he or she is born. Maybe when I feel more movement (18w so not masses now)

I find it hard to equate a fat tummy with my baby but everyone is different.

KanyesVest · 06/11/2015 18:37

I didn't really like being pregnant, so I would have been perfectly happy to avoid that but, and just be handed the newborn.

bluewisteria · 06/11/2015 18:49

About 25 weeks each time, currently pregnant with DC 3. I think reaching 'viability' made a huge difference as I knew baby stood a good chance from that point. It allowed me to relax and see the future.

Mulligrubs · 06/11/2015 18:56

With DS (my first) I loved him from the moment I saw the line on the test. However after he was born I felt disconnected from him, it was weird. Then the love grew slowly. It is hard to explain!

With my second (DD) I didn't feel like I loved her while I was pregnant. I felt protective cuz I ended up with complications and obviously worried about her. She was born via ELCS 2 weeks ago and as soon as I heard her cry I loved her. It hit me like a ton of bricks and it was amazing.

So you may not love your baby while you're pregnant but don't worry about it at all.

LikeSilver · 06/11/2015 19:10

I'm not sure I did with DD (first pregnancy) until I heard her cry when she was born. I was excited to meet her but I don't think I'd say I truly loved her while pregnant. As a PP said it hit me when I heard her cry.

With DS (second pregnancy) I was 11 weeks. I remember clearly because I had horrific HG and had spent most of it in hospital for IV fluids. I was very, very low and seriously considering a termination. When I was admitted again at 11 weeks they scanned me and I turned my head and saw him on the screen and I loved him and I knew I would carry on if it killed me.

Onthepigsback · 07/11/2015 13:54

Never. And that's ok, at least I'm fine with it! Love my kids but I find it hard to bond with a bump.

goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal · 07/11/2015 18:26

Excitement from day one, but at 32 weeks I still don't feel any particular link between being pregnant and getting a baby at the end of it.

It's awesome feeling the baby move around, but there's no "OH MY GOD MY BELOVED CHILD IS WITHIN MY WOMB" sort of emotions going on. Not sure how I would bond with my bump. It would feel like trying to form a strong emotional connection to my foot or something.

So don't worry! I think every pregnancy is different. Especially since you already have a child, maybe you are struggling now to make the same associations you did before, when you have an actual live person physically in front of you to compare it to.

amysmummy12345 · 07/11/2015 18:29

Not feeling the love, just feeling the sick :( xxx

cranberryx · 08/11/2015 00:28

Goodness I feel the same way at 36 weeks, thank god I thought something was wrong with me!

I have felt fiercely protective of bump when worrying about test results, and labour etc but I can't yet translate that to an actual human being that is going to arrive in 4-6 weeks. It's strange.

I will definitely miss the kicks though, and when he reacts to DP's voice.

Lemonylemoncake · 08/11/2015 07:39

I felt concern for DD while I was pregnant and a sense of wanting to protect her but felt love for her when she was born. It has grown over time. I knew it was OK not to feel in love with a bump. I had anxiety as well during pregnancy so that may have made a difference or maybe not. Everyone is different.

crumblybiscuits · 08/11/2015 10:25

Last DD I don't think I felt 'love' until she was a few weeks old.
This DD (16 weeks) I am brimming with love starting from this week after our gender scan. I think this is because she is a baby after a loss and I held my angel DD at 16 weeks and I know what she will look like in the womb right now, her tiny fingers and toes but she is safe inside my tummy still.

MrsBungle · 08/11/2015 10:37

I really didn't feel connected to my babies when I was pregnant. Not at all. But with both of them I got the immediate rush of love as soon as they were out.

TattieHowkerz · 08/11/2015 11:13

I was excited about being pregnant, and loved the feeling, but it wasn't a big love.
I had a difficult labour and when I first saw DD I was amazed by how big she was. No big rush of love. Early on I was protective of her, thought she was amazing, and was fascinated by her, but it wasn't a huge rush of love then either. Other mums on the ward couldn't sleep for staring at their precious bundles. I crashed out!

Now she is 4. I love her so much it scares me a little.

SnozzberryPie · 08/11/2015 11:32

Not till dd was about a week old tbh. She spent her first few days in scbu which probably didn't help us to bond.

I'm 36 weeks with dc2 and feel protective of my bump and excited to meet him but I wouldn't say I love him yet.

Tangoandcreditcards · 08/11/2015 11:38

First pg (mc at 12 weeks): didn't feel real until it was gone, when I was heartbroken for a love I hadn't known. You don't know what you've got, etc.

Second time (DS): honestly not until he was born, it was really hard to imagine the person in there (also wary of mc again, I guess). Felt rush of awe at the scans, but otherwise was a bit abstract. When he arrived it was instant and total, still is.

Third time (32 wks at the mo): not much yet, again - can't equate the connection with my bump with my connection with DS. I know it'll come when I've got a real live person to love though.

Brummiegirl15 · 08/11/2015 15:46

When I knew she was a girl. I've had 3 losses and completely agree with Tango that when I knew they were gone, I was devastated for the love I would never get to experience. Truly devastated.

But at 20 wks on attempt number 4, knowing that I was finally carrying my daughter was an amazing feeling and I can't wait to meet her

MrsCrimshaw · 08/11/2015 16:50

35 weeks and really looking forward to meeting my baby, but somehow my bump doesn't seem like a lovable human being... I find being pregnant quite surreal and have been feeling so crap the whole pregnancy that I am just looking forward to the physical relief of the baby being out!

zannyminxoxox · 09/11/2015 22:01

Im 19 weeks with my 3rd and still waiting. Im not feeling him move yet though, maybe when the movement starts I will

Paperblank · 10/11/2015 19:24

I'm 23 weeks and the more I feel the baby move the more connected I feel to it. I've noticed I rub my bump a lot - but then it's getting bigger by the day .

DH felt the baby kick for the first time a few days ago and he has just beamed since then. I didn't think I could love my DH more than I did but I do - everyday he just shows me more and more what an amazing Dad he is going to be and that our baby is just going to be the centre of his world. I love that the baby is becoming part of our lives and that it has brought us so much closer together.

My gentle giant DH is so in love with our baby, and I love our baby for making us so happy

jamtartandcustard · 11/11/2015 13:06

I've not. Im 35 weeks and nearly burst into tears this morning thinking I really don't want another baby. Er yeah bit late for that. This is dc4, wasn't planned, but I just knew I will fall in love when he/she is here and part of the family. But I haven't bonded with the bump yet. I don't think it helps that we've kept the gender a surprise. Dh on the other hand is super excited and has been since about 8 weeks.
I hate being pregnant anyway. Where's the joy in being fat and hormonal? ;-)

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