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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

when will you tell people...?

18 replies

Llouh · 21/10/2015 10:23

That you're in labour?

Obviously it will be my oh communicating with our families when it happens but am I being unreasonable for not wanting anyone to know he's coming until he's here?

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BinToHellAndBack · 21/10/2015 11:02

That's what we did with no complaints from anyone. Ultimately it's your labour so up to you only.

If people want to be offended that you didn't tell them you were in labour then they are being ridiculous! An exception might be if you were looking seriously ill, but it's still your choice.

aphrodites · 21/10/2015 11:43

I called my mum when my waters broke as we're close and DH told his family once we were at the hospital. It really is up to you though, we didn't tell anyone else till 3 days later when we went home.

Jelly101 · 21/10/2015 11:47

The only people that knew with me were my partner and my mum who were my birthing partners, my dad (who drove us to the hospital and was pacing the hospital waiting room for hours) and my partners mum as he text her when he was on his way to me. Nobody else knew until our baby was here

j0j080 · 21/10/2015 11:52

I'm planning the same as you, to tell people when the baby has arrived. We are also thinking we don't want any visitors in the hospital, and would prefer to see people when we get home. Obviously I'm keeping an open mind and am fully aware I may change my mind if we end up being in for more than one night, or if there are complications etc. But for a straightforward birth with minimal hospital time, I really don't feel the need for a) everyone to know that I am in labour, and b) visitors in hospital when I may not even be in overnight!

Junosmum · 21/10/2015 12:05

I'll be calling people once baby is here. I don't want OH thinking he has to update people and I don't want the phone going off during!

Original poster

Llouh · 21/10/2015 12:22

Thanks for your replies! It's interesting to read all the different opinions.

Both mine and oh family live 3 hours away (in opposite directions) so I really wouldn't want them coming if it was long or a false start.

Plus like mentioned if my oh was stood texting while I was pushing a baby out I don't think I'd be best pleased

OP posts:

Inwaiting · 21/10/2015 13:27

I won't be telling anyone other than my mum. As its my first I'm not sure if I'll want her on stand by to knock some sense into me

poocatcherchampion · 21/10/2015 13:30

We had the in laws to babysit while we went to hospital on Monday evening to be checked out re contractions or braxton hicks. We updated them that we were being kept in and things were happening. We work the world with the news at 7.30am the following am. He was born at 0545.

Oysterbabe · 21/10/2015 19:28

I'll probably keep my mumsnet group updated but no one in RL except DH until the baby arrives.

Sighing · 22/10/2015 13:22

I told noone with DC1 until she'd arrived. DC2, i had to tell the (ex)pil to look after DC1. They were spectacularly 'annoyed' about it (they'd offered) and expected all sorts of 'updates'. I ignored them, left exH to it (he slept through most of it so they didn't hear much and were fuming).

princesspineapple · 22/10/2015 13:52

I'm not planning to tell anyone until baby's born either... Beginning to wish I'd been more vague with the due date instead of getting all giddy and telling people, as I just want to be left alone!
PIL are really quite pushy enthusiastic about their first GC and wanted to be at the scans (God bless the one person rule!), so they'll probably set up camp at the hospital as soon as they find out I'm in labour! OH is having his phone taken away until baby is safely!

May09Bump · 22/10/2015 13:57

After the baby arrives - labor is a private time for us and I don't need any texts etc about when is baby arriving etc.

unimaginativename13 · 23/10/2015 23:29

I've told OH no FB updates no messages at all u till baby comes. Unfortunately I'm being induced so people are aware when I'm going in.

Might switch my phone off.

Mrspopper · 24/10/2015 07:52

I planned to tell no one. Baby decided to come early so I was in labour when I was meant to be at a baby shower my friend was organising for me. So in the end lots of people knew I was in labour.

MrsBartlettforthewin · 24/10/2015 15:34

Last two we didn't tell anyone (DC1 was already staying with grandparents when I went into labour with DC2 so no need for childcare). This time I'm home birthing and will have my mum on stand by just in case I need DC1 and 2 watched, though I kinda have an ideal picture in my head that I'll labour through the night and they will wake up to find DC3 here snuggled up with me and DH in bed. But other than that phone calls are made once baby is safely here. Have never liked the idea of people know and trying to pester DH for updates when I need his focus to be completely on me

Red193 · 26/10/2015 09:18

We will tell my parents when I am in labour but no one else. They will not be allowed to tell anyone. In my head the dream scenario is I go into labour during the night, easy birth, 4 hour stay and home in time for tea (we're allowed to dream right) and if that works out we won't tell anyone til we are back home.
When sil was induced a few years ago everyone was harassing her constantly for updates and I don't want that. So we told the in laws they will not be told until baby has arrived. One of his sisters kicked up and said they will be worried if they don't know! I laughed and said you can't worry if you don't know when to be worrying! My baby, my body and my parents first grandchild so his family need to respect my decision! Is mother already gate crashed our scan so needless to say she isn't privy to any info anymore!

bluewisteria · 26/10/2015 15:34

The only people who know will be those looking after our 2 DD's.... Otherwise everyone else will only know once baby is born.

KatyN · 26/10/2015 21:49

Both families knew with my first as I was being induced and had been for the last three days. I think we might have texted a bit during the day as not a lot happened but then didn't tell anyone until he'd arrived.
I can't remember people pestering us though during labour. I think they were freaked out that we were in hospital and wouldn't want disturbing. I have no idea what they felt about the situation but as it wasn't entirely smooth they let us update them.
This time we'll let people know (esp if they are looking after my son) but I wouldn't expect them to ask for updates.. It could be in a critical moment!!
K

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