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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Getting a seat on the tube in London

79 replies

MsPicklejar · 15/09/2015 10:36

I'm 19 weeks pregnant with first child and not showing very much yet, unless I wear figure hugging clothes which I'm not used to doing. I wear the 'baby on board' badge on the tube (I'm usually travelling at rush hour) but more times than not I don't get offered a seat. I wore a tight top for a couple of days, to make the bump more obvious, and I noticed I was more readily offered a seat. Have others experienced this kind of thing? It is frustrating that - at least as far as my experience goes - the badge is often not enough and plenty of people need to satisfy themselves with seeing a visible bump before they think you deserve a seat.

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MrsTrentReznor · 15/09/2015 10:41

I think if you really need one you have to ask. The tube is dog eat dog!!

Konserve · 15/09/2015 10:46

if you need a seat you need to ask politely.

I have always got a seat when asking, bump or not, even with a dc with not very obvious leg injury.

ask and you will sit.

ecuse · 15/09/2015 11:03

If you're feeling shy about asking I found moving to stand between the seats (rather than in the vestibule) increases odds of a spontaneous offer! And angling myself so my badge is facing the people in the priority seats.

People are mostly kind about it (women especially IME) but they just have their heads down in their book/BlackBerry/Metro and don't notice.

ALTHOUGH I was forever put off one friend's DH-to-be the first time I met him when he said to me (pregnant at the time!) that he always made a point of sitting in the non-priority seats so that if a pregnant or disabled person got on he didn't have to give up his seat (!)

TwmSionCati · 15/09/2015 11:06

Just ask, dont wait to be offered. YOu will be amazed how many people will jump up, just that normally they are busy trying not to look at anyone or engrossed in their book.

TwmSionCati · 15/09/2015 11:07

I remember once I asked, with a not particularly noticable bump, as I thought I was going to faint, and so many people jumped up it was amazing.

Original poster

MsPicklejar · 15/09/2015 11:14

Thanks everyone. I will ask in future - have felt shy about doing that. When I don't feel like I need a seat I don't wear the badge.

OP posts:

TwmSionCati · 15/09/2015 11:15

don't feel shy honestly - people just need reminding.
I remember saying it in quite a quiet, matter of fact voice 'I have to sit down I am going to faint'....

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome · 15/09/2015 11:16

Try wearing a 2nd badge on or around your waist - then it is at eye level of the people whoever already sitting down.

mmmuffins · 15/09/2015 11:21

I think 19 weeks is early enough that it is not obvious you want/need a seat. I'm 22 weeks and would not need to sit down on public transport. I think if you are feeling rubbish and need a seat just ask!

Original poster

MsPicklejar · 15/09/2015 11:55

I know it's still early in pregnancy but often on a crowded tube I start to feel sick and light headed. The weight of the bump is obviously not an issue yet.

OP posts:

BlueBirdBlue · 15/09/2015 12:14

My experience is: you have to ask. People are only too happy to oblige. It's no joke travelling on the tube when pregnant - people don't realise how tough it is.

cth1982 · 15/09/2015 12:22

95% of the time I get a seat on the bus/train without saying anything people usually do just jump up - I have had times though (with men especially) who look at you, look at the badge and look back down again! Saying that though I was on the DLR last week and a man said very loudly to those seated in the carriage - come on boys there is a pregnant lady standing there why don't one of you give your seat up! My knight in shining armor!

Red193 · 15/09/2015 12:51

So glad someone has mentioned this. I'm 12 weeks but have suffered from horrific sickness and very very low bloody pressure so standing on the tube isn't always easy. Got on the tube yesterday, I have my baby on board badge on and surprise surprise 5/6 people make eye contact with me and don't offer me a seat. Go 2 stops to London Bridge and people get off so me and another woman sit down. Heavily pregnant woman gets on and this woman immediately gets back up to let her take the seat so some bloke who had been on the train the entire time offers this woman who has just stood up his seat!!! Proof that being pregnant doesn't get you a seat but a nice pair of tits does!!!
Today I got a seat straight away (got lucky one was empty) and again get to London Bridge and a heavily pregnant woman gets on and no one offers her a seat. I look around at people before offering her my seat. She said you're pregnant too don't be silly and I said yes but I'm not as far gone as you so don't worry. She refused to take my seat but it shamed someone else into offering.
I don't automatically think I have a right to a seat (sorry if it comes across like that) but it would be nice for people to show some consideration. Not just for pregnant woman but for the elderly as well.
Since being pregnant I've actually been pushed out the way for the last seat on the tube! Makes me angry when they clearly see your badge and still shove you.
My resolution is to throw up on the next person who does it to me!

Original poster

MsPicklejar · 15/09/2015 15:21

Red193 I think you DO have a right to a seat if you're pregnant - at least that's what the priority seat notices on trains seem to be suggesting. I feel for you being in that morning sickness stage, I felt so rough during that time and getting the tube was horrible. I think from what others are saying here the best thing to do is to ask for a seat - but I know I don't find that easy to do, especially when people have already looked at me, badge, no obvious bump and have stayed sitting.

OP posts:

MissEeerie · 15/09/2015 15:23

You can get a free Baby on Board badge from TFL. That might work.

Red193 · 15/09/2015 15:35

MsPicklejar - I won't ask as I have watched people ask and be ignored so now I just optimistically hope the common decency will prevail. I started going the long way to work on the circle line to guarantee me a seat but the extra 15 mins I bed mean more at the moment.

MissEeerie - I have a badge and find people just look at it and then go back to their paper. It doesn't make a difference.

The best one was the woman who got on last night. I was the youngest person with a seat by a fair few years and she started glaring at me as if to imply I should give up my seat. I waited for her to spot my badge and when she did she glared again, rolled her eyes and then found the next youngest person to glare at!

I genuinely hate travelling on the tube at the best of times but since being pregnant it's been horrific! The heat on them some mornings is unbearable when you are having a hot flush! I just can't face 90 minutes each way to go by bus!

maybebabybee · 15/09/2015 15:39

Size is of bump really isn't necessarily relative to how much you need a seat. Early pregnancy is often worse IME.

People are just oblivious for the most part. Though I have seen some people look at my badge and then my stomach and carry on sitting, so obviously have not deemed me pregnant enough for a seat!

Red193 · 15/09/2015 15:49

Maybebabybee those people are the worst! If someone genuinely hasn't seen your badge it can be excused but when people look at the badge then look you up and down and still don't budge it just irks you!

I'm so lucky I am always guaranteed a seat on the way home but it's the mornings I really struggle with! The thought of standing on a hot crowded tube and being bashed and bumped for 20 mins while trying not to throw up makes me want to go back to bed!!

keely79 · 15/09/2015 15:54

I used to reasonably loudly announce "excuse me, I'm pregnant and not feeling very well and would really appreciate it if I could have a seat" - normally someone would stand up.... If not, bursting into tears normally worked (pesky pregnancy hormones...)

Original poster

MsPicklejar · 15/09/2015 16:43

maybebabybee that has been my experience too, of people clocking the badge, checking my stomach area, and seeming to think I'm not pregnant enough for a seat. But there are all kinds of reasons throughout pregnancy when you might need a seat, not just at the end, and we all grow at different rates! I think if you're wearing a badge and standing in front of or next to the seats, you should be offered a seat, without having to ask. I appreciate people on the tube keep their heads down so might not notice, but my problem is with the people who look, see the badge, and decide you don't need a seat. How do they know? If you're wearing a badge I think it indicates you need a seat, that's what they're for. I also think actually that if you are sitting in a 'priority seat' then you have a responsibility to look up every now and then.

OP posts:

Konserve · 15/09/2015 16:53

I don't think that's what people think. I think they think (I do at least) 'they can't be needing a seat if they don't ask'

Original poster

MsPicklejar · 15/09/2015 18:17

I will ask from now on :)

OP posts:

maybebabybee · 16/09/2015 08:37

I think they think (I do at least) 'they can't be needing a seat if they don't ask'

I would never think that if someone was wearing a badge. That's the whole point of the badge. Why would you wear a badge if you didn't require a seat?

TwmSionCati · 16/09/2015 08:40

yes but if you are sitting down and there are people strap hanging in front of you, how are you supposed to see their badge?

maybebabybee · 16/09/2015 09:01

Twm I wasn't meaning people who don't see the badge, I was talking about people who look at your badge and then decide if you don't ask you obviously don't need a seat, which seemed to be what konserve was implying.

I agree if no one is looking at you and you are squashed up you should ask, but you have to recognise that not everyone is confident enough to do that. I have social anxiety and would find it really difficult. If I felt really horrendous then I would, but I would prefer someone looked at my badge and just offered.

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