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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Getting a seat on the tube in London

79 replies

MsPicklejar · 15/09/2015 10:36

I'm 19 weeks pregnant with first child and not showing very much yet, unless I wear figure hugging clothes which I'm not used to doing. I wear the 'baby on board' badge on the tube (I'm usually travelling at rush hour) but more times than not I don't get offered a seat. I wore a tight top for a couple of days, to make the bump more obvious, and I noticed I was more readily offered a seat. Have others experienced this kind of thing? It is frustrating that - at least as far as my experience goes - the badge is often not enough and plenty of people need to satisfy themselves with seeing a visible bump before they think you deserve a seat.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

hinkyhonk · 16/09/2015 13:37

i always found that picking someone to ask helped and saying, excuse me, do you need that seat? allows them to reference their broken leg, invisible issues or hangover and then if they don't give you a seat, someone else usually hops up to.

I've found that I've been offered a seat on every journey although I've not always taken it as its been better sometimes to be standing after a day of desk driving. quite often other people have asked me if I need a seat who are also standing so offering to ask on my behalf. it seems people on the circle line are lovely or I look massive and completely knackered!

Red193 · 16/09/2015 13:50

Would be lovely very to do a survey of what lines people use and to find out who are the "kindest" Londoners? Also be interesting to see if it was mainly women or men who give up my seats. DH has even commented that's it's always women offering me a seat!

Micah · 16/09/2015 13:51

I see the "baby on board" badges much the same as the car versions. It tells me you''re pregnant, but it doesn't tell me whether you are fine to stand or not.

I have a back issue. Unless you were heavily pregnant or asked I wouldn't offer a seat. You may be 8 weeks with hyperemesis, in which case less capable of standing than me. Or you may be 12 weeks pregnant, feeling fine, but think pregnancy alone makes you deserving of a seat than everyone else. In which case I need the seat more.

So ask.

CityDweller · 16/09/2015 13:58

I agree with someone upthread that stage of pregnancy does not dictate need of seat! I'm 37 weeks and am actually more comfortable standing than sitting at the moment, especially if it's only for a stop or two. However, I usually have to sit because multiple people offer their seats to me and my ginormous bump and there are only so many times I can say 'no, I'm fine, I'm getting off shortly, thanks a lot anyway!'

However, around 19-20 weeks was when I was at my peak of low blood pressure and therefore felt dizzy and lightheaded all the time - less obviously pregnant but much more in need of a seat.

If in need and no one offering, ask. I used to pick on young, fit and healthy looking men who were usually immediately happy to leap up. (Note - also useful to pick on same when you need help up and down stairs with buggy at station in the future).

Red193 · 16/09/2015 14:03

I've asked reddit! I really want to know which is the nicest tube line now.

www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3l606a/pregnant_londoners_which_is_the_nicest_tube_line/

Lweji · 16/09/2015 14:05

Putting your hand on your belly in a certain way is almost a sure sign that you are pregnant for people on the tube and helps show off your bump.
But be vocal, if you need to be.

Hairballs · 16/09/2015 14:10

Ah hiiiiii red! I can be found doing Waterloo - Canary Wharf daily swearing and sweating usually

trijo It's not possible to put into words how much I detest the Northern line. Fucking misery. It's on a par with the central line.

jessie If they don't understand a bump and / or a BoB badge then they ain't gonna get much

Hairballs · 16/09/2015 14:12

Those who are worried about asking - phrasing your request along the lines of "Excuse me, are you able to stand?..." rather than "Please can I have your seat / I need a seat" is a good way of avoiding placing people with less obvious disabilities in an awkward position.

elementofsurprise · 16/09/2015 14:22

CityDweller I used to pick on young, fit and healthy looking men who were usually immediately happy to leap up. (Note - also useful to pick on same when you need help up and down stairs with buggy at station in the future).
I've noticed this too (I don't have children but have observed this). It's usually the young men who, if they were sat around somewhere, would attract disparaging glances and mutters about "the youth of today" or similar. May be observation bias though!

Micah I see the "baby on board" badges much the same as the car versions. It tells me you''re pregnant, but it doesn't tell me whether you are fine to stand or not.
This is the thing. As someone who's never been pregnant, it wouldn't have occured to me to think it meant needing a seat until you had a large bump. Obviously mumsnet has enlightened me! But had I just seen someone wearing a badge I'd have assumed it was a bit of fun, or possibly even a bit "Look at me, I'm pregnant!" sort of thing.

Red193 · 16/09/2015 14:24

Hairballs - I'm Canada Water to Baker Street. Also found the people in carriage 4/5 are more likely to give up a seat in carriage 2!!

Trijo - Hate the northern line. Use to do it when I worked at the Whittington Hospital! Awful line.

Apparently I should have asked on reddit woman so here is a new link if anyone wants to see what kind of results we get
www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/3l62ld/pregnant_londoners_which_is_the_nicest_tube_line/

maybebabybee · 16/09/2015 14:28

This is the thing. As someone who's never been pregnant, it wouldn't have occured to me to think it meant needing a seat until you had a large bump. Obviously mumsnet has enlightened me! But had I just seen someone wearing a badge I'd have assumed it was a bit of fun, or possibly even a bit "Look at me, I'm pregnant!" sort of thing.

Are you a Londoner? I can't think of anyone used to living and working in London who wouldn't understand what the BOB badge meant.

CarShare · 16/09/2015 14:31

Another jubilee line traveler here! I go from Canada water to bond st and usually shuffle myself over the seats and grab one when someone gets off at London Bridge (if there's a battle for the spare seat I usually offer it to the other person racing over to it and on noticing my bump and badge they sheepishly offer it back- I gladly accept!).
I wear my badge if feeling dodgy/dizzy/sick (have very low blood pressure) which is most days now to be honest (I'm 20 weeks).
I did (of course) get up from my seat (not in priority) when someone hobbled on with crutches but then another standing commuter spotted that the pregnant lady was the only one to offer up seat and guilted someone else into giving them mine.

On balance I've found most people considerate. I do look rough mind!

CarShare · 16/09/2015 14:33

*giving theirs to me, even. Apologies for terribly written post!

Red193 · 16/09/2015 14:36

Carshare - we do almost the same journey. I feel guilty wearing my badge so early on but I've had horiffic sickness and like you terribly low blood pressure (midwife could hardly get any out last week)
I'm hoping when this clears up I can just stand again.
You are right though London Bridge is when to get your seat!

TriJo · 16/09/2015 14:38

Lol Red - I live in Archway and am planning to have this baby in the Whittington! My commute is Archway to Old Street, I sometimes get a train in the other direction in the morning because it's easier to get on at Highgate or East Finchley if it's really bad.

Micah · 16/09/2015 14:38

When you get a BOB badge, do you need to present your Mat B1/other proof of pregnancy?

Or can anyone (female, obv) get one?

Is a BoB badge supposed to mean "Offer me a seat" then? Which is all well and good, but I still can't judge whether you need the seat more than me.

TriJo · 16/09/2015 14:40

No proof needed - I've seen a man carrying a dog with one on the little dog jacket!

Red193 · 16/09/2015 14:43

TriJo - Yeah I use to do Camden Town to Archway and if I wasn't on the tube before 7am I wasn't getting a seat!!

Micah - No no proof required you just need to hope that people do not abuse the system and the reason they were bought in (and I fully expect people do)

maybebabybee · 16/09/2015 14:51

I'd rather stand up for someone pretending with a BOB badge than risk not standing up for someone with a BOB who needed to sit down just because I they didn't ask/I was skeptical.

rallytog1 · 16/09/2015 17:14

The only people who've ever offered me a seat are teenage boys and foreign men (at least I assume foreign - not speaking with a British accent anyway). On this basis alone I'm happy for immigration to continue unfettered

lilyb84 · 16/09/2015 22:48

If you're wearing a badge I think it indicates you need a seat, that's what they're for.

I think this is part of the problem, as some of you are already discussing here. I don't think the badges do signify that the wearer needs a seat, they just signify that they're pregnant. Certainly most women I know who've worn them have them on all the time, regardless of their need to sit down.

I'm 21 weeks and am lucky enough to have a long but easy commute on which it's rare that I don't get a seat as a matter of course. I don't have a badge because of that and because I don't like them, personally - there's something about announcing the pregnancy to the world (especially when it's obvious) that doesn't sit comfortably with me. BUT I recognise that some women like the security of having the badge, and I'll always offer my seat to someone wearing one, just as I do to anyone who looks in need of a seat for any other reason (very old, very young, disabled, lots of shopping!). But that's because I'm basically a nice person who believes people should look out for each other. Not everyone is, many people will just be looking out for themselves, and even nice people may not automatically assume the badge means 'I need a seat' so IMO it's always better to ask.

Although of you're on on Northern line at rush hour you're pretty much screwed

Red193 · 17/09/2015 06:01

I was involved in a crush on a train from London Bridge. The only reason people stopped was because one last spotted my badge screamed I was pregnant and too back off! I was so grateful!

Micah · 17/09/2015 10:56

I don't think the badges do signify that the wearer needs a seat, they just signify that they're pregnant. Certainly most women I know who've worn them have them on all the time, regardless of their need to sit down

This is what I was trying to say.

When I was pregnant, yes I felt crap. But I was capable of standing on my commute, and probably more so than many other commuters. I still felt crap whether sitting or standing. I didn't feel I needed a seat more than someone who had had a long day at work, or a hangover, or felt a bit under the weather, or had been up all night with the kids.

Need is subjective, and you can never say whether someone who looks fine, is, pregnant or not. If I can stand, I do.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 17/09/2015 11:22

Simpler to update the badge to the pregnant woman symbol?

The 20 week mark varies massively from
drank too much water after the gym,
might be, might not be, not going to risk asking
could do with losing a few pounds
definitely pregnant

In London and presumably other parts of the country with lots of ethnic minorities it's even tougher to figure it out because of dress customs.

lilyb84 · 17/09/2015 12:40

Have to say, for all my being stubborn about not getting a badge, I wore my coat for the first time today and of course it's immediately no longer obvious I'm pregnant. Short of investing in a nice, fitted maternity coat (which I don't want to do for such a short period of time), I did walk past a tube station thinking 'maybe I should pick up a badge...'

But yes, micah, that's exactly how I feel. If I'm feeling unwell enough to need a seat, I'll ask. Although good to hear the badges can come in useful in more dire circumstances, red!

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