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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Getting a seat on the tube in London

79 replies

MsPicklejar · 15/09/2015 10:36

I'm 19 weeks pregnant with first child and not showing very much yet, unless I wear figure hugging clothes which I'm not used to doing. I wear the 'baby on board' badge on the tube (I'm usually travelling at rush hour) but more times than not I don't get offered a seat. I wore a tight top for a couple of days, to make the bump more obvious, and I noticed I was more readily offered a seat. Have others experienced this kind of thing? It is frustrating that - at least as far as my experience goes - the badge is often not enough and plenty of people need to satisfy themselves with seeing a visible bump before they think you deserve a seat.

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TwmSionCati · 16/09/2015 09:03

the problem partly is that about 60 per cent of people on an average tube journey dont have English, and probably have no idea what 'baby on board' means!

Hairballs · 16/09/2015 09:07

In this pregnancy I've been lucky and been offered a seat every day.

However, if you're not willing or socially confident enough to ask fellow passengers if they are able to stand (and I totally get that) then you have to accept you may not get a seat. Fainting on people's laps will often speed the rate at which people give up their seat

Iagreewithmrsdevere · 16/09/2015 09:12

From my experience, if you ask, someone will offer, but don't ask a specific person, ask a group of people, so that you don't put anyone on the spot (they may get defensive- one chap I asked who was sitting in the priority seat said no "because I can't get pregnant" - his logic being, I think, that as he could not get pregnant it was not fair as it meant he would never be entitled to that seat...) Very rare situation, mind you, most people respond to being asked.

maybebabybee · 16/09/2015 09:14

the problem partly is that about 60 per cent of people on an average tube journey dont have English, and probably have no idea what 'baby on board' means!

but presumably they do have eyes and can see the bump?

and in any case if they don't speak english then asking wouldn't do much good anyway.

MrsSparkles · 16/09/2015 09:19

Asking politely always got me a seat if I needed one, I especially asked if I saw they had noticed the badge :). I don't think people can always see the badge from sitting level, and at 19 weeks it's that inbetween stage isn't it where people might just think you're a bit chubby rather than obviously pregnant and don't want to offend.

I certainly didn't look round at every stop to see if someone with a badge had got on ready to jump up, I was reading the paper usually or similar

maybe I used to wear in a badge in the hope people wouldn't push or squash me, not because I desperately needed a seat, and if you do ask for a seat people know why.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 16/09/2015 09:28

I made a point of walking to the end of the platform and travelling in the front or rear carriages on the tube while I was pregnant. They are always quieter and so you are more visible.
If necessary let a train go by so you are standing where the doors open and you are first on when people depart.
If there are no seats, stand in between seats, never in the middle standing section as you are completely invisible to those sitting down as the carriage fills up. Unless you wear a baby on board hat that is

People pushing behind you to get on while people are still exiting are always an issue - you really do need to grow a pair if that is happening and very loudly say "I'm pregnant, stop shoving"

Speak to your employer about coming in early and or late to avoid the worst of rush hour if you are on a particularly busy part of the line. Working a 10-6/7 in late pregnancy was bliss in that respect. Bit of a sod for Baby No 2 though as you are rushing out the door by 5 for childcare.

Otherwise, what Hairball says holds true "However, if you're not willing or socially confident enough to ask fellow passengers if they are able to stand (and I totally get that) then you have to accept you may not get a seat. Fainting on people's laps will often speed the rate at which people give up their seat".

Taking your coat off helps too.

maybebabybee · 16/09/2015 09:33

I'm not saying you shouldn't ask, my complaint is quite often people look at your badge and then your tummy and still don't offer.

I have always offered pregnant women with badges a seat. And before I was pregnant if I was sitting down I would frequently look up from my book/kindle/phone or whatever to see if anyone had got on who needed to sit.

Rollermum · 16/09/2015 09:41

Lol at 60% on a tube journey have no English. Unlikely.

My experiences are good. I got offered a seat twice yesterday and I wasn't wearing a badge (only going two stops). I'm only 5 months but bump obviously looking huge. And probably knackered. Both were women. I think they tend to notice more (ime).

TwmSionCati · 16/09/2015 09:42

" Lol at 60% on a tube journey have no English."

Fair estimate these days I think

WhingyNinja · 16/09/2015 09:44

I was very fortunate in that I was nearly always offered a seat but had the odd occasion where someone would clock me, see the badge and then pretend to be asleep!? This happened more than once and I would burst out laughing at how ridiculous it was!

My laughing would mean someone else looked up, saw the badge/bump and would spring up full of apologies.

There are many, many lovely people on the tube but there are some real arseholes too!

If anyone sees you and pretends to be asleep just laugh very loudly at how ridiculous they are

Catching 6 trains a day at rush hour has made me appreciate how bloody awful it is to travel whilst pregnant on the tube, as soon as I have this baby out and am travelling as a non pregnant person I will ensure I am always alert to offer my seat to someone who needs it!

Good luck in the pregnancy, I may even give my seat up for you one day!

hesterton · 16/09/2015 09:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BathshebaDarkstone · 16/09/2015 09:47

The badge is too small. I bought a "Does my Bump Look Big in This?" t-shirt from Mothercare, that didn't work either. You have to be assertive and actually ask. Do you really need a seat on the tube yet?

WhingyNinja · 16/09/2015 09:47

The priority seats are also for those less able to stand, if he is so desperate for a reason to sit in that seat give him one! A swift kick to the knees/groin should do the trick, insufferable twunt!

maybebabybee · 16/09/2015 10:06

Do you really need a seat on the tube yet?

It's been stated numerous times on this thread that size of bump is not relative to 'need' for a seat. My sister was perfectly happy standing at 8 months but really needed a seat at 8-15 weeks when she suffered from terrible morning sickness and dizziness.

Red193 · 16/09/2015 10:10

Sometimes it's really awkward to ask. In the past I've quite happily yelled for people to get up for my pregnant friends or family but now I'm pregnant myself I can't bring myself to do it. Today my tube was really rammed. It normally isn't and one woman immediately offered me her seat. I was so grateful as I haven't kept food down for nearly 24 hours so feeling seriously shit and then the driver did that juddering pull away where it sends everyone off balance and almost to the floor. If I hadn't been seated I feel I would have been down and having the embarrassment of the train being held while they called an ambulance and got me off!!

TriJo · 16/09/2015 10:34

I use the badge when I feel I might need a seat, even though I'm only 13 weeks. Today was one of those days - I'm getting over a sinus infection so feeling like I've been punched in the face in addition to the normal bleurgh-ness associated with this stage. I was lucky, I got a priority seat straight away thanks to a kind man (and it's ALWAYS men who give me a seat, for some reason) who noticed the badge. I put my badge on my bag strap and I'm probably showing a bit more than I should be for this stage.

Hairballs · 16/09/2015 10:38

Do you really need a seat on the tube yet?

Ugh. This 'You're not THAT pregnant so why do you need a seat?!' attitude pisses me right off.

I'm 21 weeks now and far more capable of standing now than I was at 8 weeks.

Red193 · 16/09/2015 10:51

TriJo - I find it is 90% woman who give up seats for me.

Yeah I think as soon as this sickness passes (12 weeks now surely it will bugger off soon) I will find standing fine.

maybebabybee · 16/09/2015 11:03

I have to find it is also women who get up for me most of the time.

City boys in suits are IME the worst offenders for looking at badge and then tummy and then blatantly ignoring both!

Red193 · 16/09/2015 11:09

Oh yes!

I remember once when I wasn't pregnant I was seated on the overground. I try my best to look up at each station to see if someone needs my seat. This time I was so engrossed in reply to a text message I hadn't realised a you hen lad with crutches had got on. Now bare in mind I was not the only seated person but his mother walked over to me slapped my legs and told me to move!! I was gobsmacked. The lack of manners and aggression were so uncalled for!! Why not politely ask me. I would have got up the second I noticed anyway but to slap someone is beyond uncalled for!

JessieMcJessie · 16/09/2015 11:41

I think the badge should say "I am pregnant, please let me sit down". A lot of people (especially those who do not have good idiomatic English which is indeed quite possibly the majority many tube journeys) will simply not understand the point that "Baby on Board" is trying to make.

What is more, of those who see the bump, not everyone will connect pregnancy with needing a seat and/or there will be some afraid of causing offence in case you are just fat.

Hairballs · 16/09/2015 12:38

Funnily enough, I'd say most of those who have kindly given up their seat for me have been male. And I travel on a notoriously wankery line - Jubilee - where people will generally tread on their own mothers to get a seat.

jessie BoB badges were introduced after a lady was (accidentally) elbowed in the stomach during a busy morning commute and lost her unborn child as a result. A Labour or Lib Dem MP (I can't remember which) launched a campaign and TfL introduced them a year later. The point of the badges isn't just about getting people a seat - but generally encouraging consideration.

Red193 · 16/09/2015 13:06

Hairballs - I'm a jubilee liner as well!! How strange

TriJo · 16/09/2015 13:33

Red Hairballs Northern line here - High Barnet branch which is generally the busier one. Absolutely obnoxious from Euston onwards.

JessieMcJessie · 16/09/2015 13:33

oK Hairballs, but "baby on board" does not obviously mean "I am pregnant" if your grasp of English is not that good.

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