only a few wks to go but starting to panic!

[Merlin333]

Just over 3 wks to go and reality kicking in, trying to focus on not long until i get to meet my baby but cant get past what I'm going to have to go through first. I know it has to happen and women do it everyday but I'm scared :(

I'm due early dec and got quite a bit to go but the anxiety of not long to go now is kicking in.

I think best thing is not to focus on the birth side of things in fact a friend whose popped 4 advised me that she didn't even read much into it neither.
Just focus on the little one and the magic moment when you first hold them ( cuddles) .

Hope all goes well :-)

What exactly is it scaring you ? The pain or fear of something happening?

This is my first baby and my sister told me
' you can't be scared of what what you don't know and haven't experienced'

Nerves and fear are normal reactions but try to think of things in terms of if this is your first baby your about to go through something so natural and wonderful.

I think the best approach is to be well informed about the process and options but just to accept that your choices and control are fairly limited so try to accept what happens will happen. Don't focus too much on a plan as that plan may have to change. Yes, it will be painful and hard, but the end result will be worth all of the hardship (so I'm told!)

Personally I'm trying not to think about it too much as anxiety will get the better of me.

I agree with treesparrow go into everything - knowing as much as you can. (research everything). Have a plan but let it be loose. Obviously, if you have anxiety talk in through with your midwife/midwives. Realise that the horror stories are real for a lot of people but the chances of something bad happening to you are very very very slim. Trust in your body. This is exactly what our bodies are meant to do. And most of all - focus on the light at the end of the tunnel, your baby. They make it read EVERYTHING completely worth it
even when they decide to draw all over their newly painted bedroom walls as my DD did today!!! xx good luck xx

Try a bit of hypnobirthing, helped me massively! X

Can you put your finger on any specific fears? I had DS 9 months ago and had very specific concerns about tearing and drugs. I managed to get some of it into questions and took them to a midwife appointment. They had loads of information and it made me feel better just having as much knowledge as I could. Also MN really helped with a wide variety of experiences.

I'm really really frightened too.

I've had 3 mcs in a row and when people / doctors tell me giving birth is natural and it's what our bodies are designed to do - I just don't believe them.

I was told 3 mcs in a row was so rare (1% of couples) that it was highly unlikely and i didn't need help because it was highly likely I'd have a successful pregnancy.

Hmm well that didn't work!!! So I just struggle to believe the "you'll body will know what to do" line

I'm now 18 wks, so eventually it did work! But I do know I'm frightening myself and I need to get past that panic. So I'm going to do hypnobirthing and read EVERYTHING I can get my hands. I need to learn to cope with my fear

I'm worried about losing control, panicking and then everything grinding to a halt and before you know it the forceps are out. My fear is forceps and the damage they can do.

So trying to get a hold on my panic and fear.

Big hugs

I'm 40 weeks and pretty nervous but I find the closer I got the more impatient I got and the less nervous and more desperate for pregnancy to be over! I started writing myself a list of sort of common sense affirmations for when I go into labour and have given it to my OH to read to me to calm me down if necessary. It's stuff like:

literally billions of women have given birth and you can too
Think of all the women you know who have children who have coped with this
It wasn't that long ago there were nowhere near the medical resources there are now. You will be in good hands.
It's just one shitty day or two.
After this you won't be pregnant anymore! Hooray!
Don't be worried, be excited to meet your baby.

Etc etc. I find it helps to be rational about it. I'm prone to anxiety but there's no escaping the fact that almost all women will have to do this, most of them more than once. It's just a part of life and it's a relatively short experience.

Good luck :)

Please don't be worried, look around at all the people and remind yourself that the women of the world gave birth to every single one of them! You'll be absolutely fine and once it all starts the birth process has its own momentum and it will take you with it just so long as you relax and let it. Focus on the thought of your beautiful new baby and let everything else wash away!

Good list Cornberry! Thanks.

At 39 weeks, I hear your 'nervous but impatient'!

We'll all be fine: there are lots of highly skilled, highly trained and also (in my experience so far) really nice people whose job is to make sure you and baby are a) safe and b) happy.

Thanks everyone! I know your right and up until this week I had been ok and was just trying not to worry to much cos as you say women go through this all the time! I just had an emotional couple of days randomly crying etc and it just all seemed to much and all you ever seem to hear is awful stories (why do people insist on telling you their horror stories when they know u have to go through it!!!). So its nice to have some encouraging words , what will be will be and I will just have to deal with it when it happens and focus on the end result :) x

Merlin join the Mumsnet Sept Antenatal group on Facebook - it's a secret group so no one in your friends list will be able to see you post there. If you PM me your email address I'll add you. There's 80 or so of us on there expecting babies this month and a mixture of first time mums and old hands so lots and lots of support. You might find it helpful