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Going to A and E: please advise on what to say

95 replies

Sleeplessinnorthlondon · 25/08/2015 13:52

Things have taken turn for worse and going to go to A and E. My GP can't see me til Thursday and I feel so close to losing my mind that I can't think what else to do. I've managed to get an appt with the GP for first thing Thursday and also the psychiatrist again so just need to keep self going til then. Can't go to parents again as they are getting on and this is so so distressing for them am frightened of the impact I'm having on their health, can't keep leaning on friends and so so guilty already for impact on husband so going to go to hospital as I've started having really serious thoughts that everyone would be far far better without me. One of my friends I spoke to the other week was very against being too open with NHS in case there were long term consequences but honestly don't think I should be the one to take care of my child if this continues nor do I think I would be able to do my job anymore so think is just a desperate but needed move to go to A and E rather than a rash one. Planning on just being totally honest about everything that's happening in my mind and seeing what they say as no longer feel can manage at all or put this on anyone else. I know this website is up and down at the moment so not relying on this really, just don't want to feel totally alone when I go in, not telling anyone where I'm going, and wondered if others thought this sounded like ok plan. Thank you xxxx

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IndomitabIe · 26/08/2015 00:57

Hi sleepless, I've 'seen' you around here a bit but not posted.

In case everyone else is asleep, I just wanted to say I'm glad you feel safe and cared for. You've done brilliantly today. Hope you can sleep well.

Fuzzyduck21 · 26/08/2015 07:04

So pleased you are getting somewhere in the 'system'. Out of interest what community care plan are they offering you? It's fab your dh is so supported. Everything will be ok. Get started on the meds and I am sure you will be able to enjoy the remaineder of your pregnancy. Now at 36 weeks I wish I had gone onto meds when first mentioned at 20ish weeks as it has been so difficult to cope. Now feel at this stage of pregnancy there is no point.

My dh keeps telling me: baby is so lucky to have a mother that cares so much about it already. Try to think of it like that. Put simply, you and I have just got our natural maternal worry dial set too high duribg the pregnancy and see everything as a risk. It's not our fault, we aren't well. But we will get through it and in a few months will be back to how we were.

So happy you went to A&E. You should receive far better care now you are properly on their radar...

Keep me posted xx

MazyCrummy · 26/08/2015 07:16

Hope you got some sleep, sleepless

You were so brave yesterday - and have been by repeatedly seeking help when you've needed it - and there's a whole gaggle of people on here that think you are one fantastic lady and will make a wonderful mummy in a few weeks.

Hippymama1 · 26/08/2015 07:21

Well done sleepless Flowers I haven't commented on your last couple of threads but have been thinking of you and hope you are feeling better today. Take care.

daisydalrymple · 26/08/2015 07:55

Hope you slept well sleepless

KittyandTeal · 26/08/2015 07:59

That is fantastic news. From someone who knows how hard it is to reach out for help (took me 15 years!)

You will make a brilliant mum.

Skiptonlass · 26/08/2015 08:26

Well done! That support network is exactly what you need.

Have a relaxing day today and be proud of yourself for asking for what you need from the system. Your dh sounds wonderful!

Lolimax · 26/08/2015 08:49

That's lovely news. Bet it was nice to be in your own bed but to know you're supported by a big team. Let us know how you're going?

Mimigolightly · 26/08/2015 08:50

Fantastic news - hope you have a good day today.

Frescoed · 26/08/2015 08:55

Good news Sleepless, well done. Hope the next few days get easier, and keep asking for help when you need it x

TheTravellingLemon · 26/08/2015 09:05

Well done sleepless. You are obviously a very strong, brave and determined person. This is all part of your recovery. It will take time, but you will get there Flowers

Original poster
Sleeplessinnorthlondon · 26/08/2015 13:58

Thank you all so so much. Lovely sleep and in work today. Plan involves weekly review with gp, meeting with psych tomorrow and more regular reviews at the hospital too. Taking each day as it comes and just praying my fears are as irrational as everyone else seems to think. Thank you so so much mumsnet, you really really are a
Lifeline xxxxx

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DreamingOfADifferentMe · 26/08/2015 17:03

So glad to hear you were seen and properly listened to, and are now firmly on their radar. Your courage astounds me, way to go my love. As so many have already have said, take it in small steps, but you're already on the road to recovery.

Mimigolightly · 26/08/2015 18:10

So glad you've had a good day today. You definitely sound much more positive today which is fantastic. I'm so pleased for you Flowers

moggiek · 26/08/2015 18:42

Glad that they've got a plan in place for you, sleepless. Will be thinking of you.

Peppasmate · 27/08/2015 00:34

Flowers Your a brave lady & a good mother. Let us know how you get on. X

Original poster
Sleeplessinnorthlondon · 27/08/2015 08:13

Thanks everyone, so so much. Got to go to gp now then psychiatrist. Made notes with husband of what to say and trying to hold it together but now just feel so so so bleak it's not true and like I've been the most irresponsible person ever letting it get this bad. Wanted help early on but did it all wrong and did stupid things like getting into row with the builder who messed up our house instead of just moving in with mum
And leaving it to stu and trying to pretend things were ok and be normal instead of admitting how awful it was anywhere but mumsnet.its too late now, if he's damaged for life he's damaged for life and it's my fault for the decisions I've made. Meant to be going away with mum tonight and so so don't want her heart broken as she thinks I'm getting on better and has been so so kind not to mention paid for a break for us both when on a pension but I think I need to go into hospital. Dh saying to just get through the appts and see how I feel as mornings always worse so going to see how it goes. Don't think would even be brave enough to end it all as not got the strength but really really feel that would be best. I used to be a really happy together normal person, I was a loving wife friend and daughter, I'm an assistant head teacher, I've supported years and years of students well who I loved, I cooked I kept my home well I read I entertained and now I can't get dressed or out of the house or even sleep for the fear of how badly I've harmed he child I've wanted for years and years. I have never been this scared and worst of all just have no confidence in my own judgement about what to do about it. I'm so sorry this is so bleak, it's the only place i feel safe and almost guilt free. My dh is beyond amazing but effectively has no wife or life anymore, the friends I have still told are so upset, I'm just a waste of space and a burden and this is all all all my fault.

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NotSoFancyNancy · 27/08/2015 08:23

Oh sleepless hope you start to feel better soon. You are so brave to admit your problem and deal with it. With the help you are receiving you will be back to your old self in no time. Please continue to be open and honest with those around you. Xx

Original poster
Sleeplessinnorthlondon · 27/08/2015 08:28

I want to be but so hard given the impact it has, thank you for being so kind x

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Original poster
Sleeplessinnorthlondon · 27/08/2015 08:31

Dh actually breaking my heart doing all
These jokes and accents like we're on a holiday or adventure when I know this is killing him,

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TheTravellingLemon · 27/08/2015 08:40

sleepless all those things you were, you will be again. You are ill, but you will get better.

I think you should do your appointments and then see how you feel. The hospital is always there if you need to go.

If your DH was sick, would you look after him? I would look after mine because I love him and I would want to take care of him. You are not letting him down, he loves you and wants to look after you while you need him to. You're not well at the moment, but it won't always be that way and one day you will need to be there for him. That's marriage and choosing a life together. He absolutely would not be better without you.

You aren't a burden. The reason I know this is because I been in your DH's shoes and my 'sleepless' was never a burden. I just wanted to help.

You haven't harmed your baby. You'll see that once it gets here and you watch it develop its own little personality and traits.

FlowersFlowers

babymouse · 27/08/2015 11:02

Your baby is not going to be damaged for life and neither are you. Your family and friends would much rather be there to support you rather than have to deal with the alternative.

Please continue to get the support you need. Your baby will be lovely and not ruined.

purplepandas · 27/08/2015 11:43

Another one popping by to see how you are doing. Your baby will be just fine.

ScarlettDarling · 27/08/2015 12:31

Dear Sleepless,
I've just read through your whole thread and it has brought tears to my eyes. You sound so desperate. As someone who has struggled with anxiety, please let me reassure you that things can and will improve. CBT didn't do much for me, (infact I think it made me worse for a while!) but medication, (sertraline,) really helped. I've been on it for nearly 2 years, and can't imagine coming off it anytime soon.

The meds certainly haven't 'fixed' me and taken my anxious thoughts away, but it's helped me keep things in perspective and not let the thoughts take over. And do you know what? Despite 'wobbles', most of the time I'm ok...and infact quite often I'm pretty happy!

Keep plodding on. If you haven't struggled with anxiety before, this could well be down to the hormones and ante natal depression. You're seeking help and doing the right things. Now just hold onto the knowledge that this desperation you're feeling is temporary . It will pass.

Lots of love xx

Original poster
Sleeplessinnorthlondon · 27/08/2015 13:51

Dear all,
This is going to sound ridiculous as fully aware impossible that effect could be kicking in yet but GP this morning I saw indescribably informed, kind and supportive and psychiatrist afterwards also reassuring, taken first dose of sertraline, taking one daily, and a one off v small dose of diazepam (been told to treat this as an umbrella only taking it out if it's really pouring with rain which this morning it was) and for the first time I can remember in weeks, maybe months, feel calm, even happy and almost, almost excited about birth and relieved to be here and looking forward. Wish had seen this GP weeks ago, she was so clued up on meds in pregnancy and mental health and so hugely hugely reassuring. Feeling indescribably more positive, thank you thank you thank you all so so much for all your support mumsnet, you are terrific and I love you!!! me xxxx

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