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Original poster

Going to A and E: please advise on what to say

95 replies

Sleeplessinnorthlondon · 25/08/2015 13:52

Things have taken turn for worse and going to go to A and E. My GP can't see me til Thursday and I feel so close to losing my mind that I can't think what else to do. I've managed to get an appt with the GP for first thing Thursday and also the psychiatrist again so just need to keep self going til then. Can't go to parents again as they are getting on and this is so so distressing for them am frightened of the impact I'm having on their health, can't keep leaning on friends and so so guilty already for impact on husband so going to go to hospital as I've started having really serious thoughts that everyone would be far far better without me. One of my friends I spoke to the other week was very against being too open with NHS in case there were long term consequences but honestly don't think I should be the one to take care of my child if this continues nor do I think I would be able to do my job anymore so think is just a desperate but needed move to go to A and E rather than a rash one. Planning on just being totally honest about everything that's happening in my mind and seeing what they say as no longer feel can manage at all or put this on anyone else. I know this website is up and down at the moment so not relying on this really, just don't want to feel totally alone when I go in, not telling anyone where I'm going, and wondered if others thought this sounded like ok plan. Thank you xxxx

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Northumberlandlass · 25/08/2015 18:30

I've just read your thread Sleepless - you have been very brave going in & I am pleased they are being kind & will help.

Original poster

Sleeplessinnorthlondon · 25/08/2015 19:09

The psych thinks I should stay in: they are checking things out with the senior doctor but might be admitted tonight.
Part relieved, part terrified my mother will break her heart if she finds out, part terrified husband heart will also break but just think this has to be for the best.

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lilyb84 · 25/08/2015 19:21

sleepless I've read your previous threads and never commented as there are so many others already doing so and giving you so much brilliant advice and support but I just wanted to say how incredibly brave your decision was today. Well done for seeking help, you're absolutely doing the right thing for yourself, for your baby and for your family. As others have said don't worry about your parents and DH, it may be scary for them but it's important that you're getting the help you need and so much better in the long run. Thinking of you and sending hugs.

MazyCrummy · 25/08/2015 19:21

Well done sleepless

FWIW if I was your mum / husband / friends I think I'd be massively reassured by you staying in if that's what the Drs advised. Please be honest with them

Mimigolightly · 25/08/2015 19:25

Please don't worry about your DM or DH - they will be fine and will be relieved that you are getting the help that you need.
You've done the hard part in going to a&e and asking them for help. You're in the best place for you & your baby and it's going to get much better from here on out x

jobrum · 25/08/2015 19:28

Clicked on this thread in error but carried on reading and I think you are doing the right thing. In-patient care is there to help you and as a result of it, all your family too. I hope you het the help you need to start to get better

mrscatmad31 · 25/08/2015 19:29

You are in the best place if this is how you are feeling, that was a very brave thing to do

Original poster

Sleeplessinnorthlondon · 25/08/2015 19:50

I'm scared about what the psychiatric hospital is going to be like. At the momen it's an informal admission which means I can choose not to go but think then they might make me go...also think it might be for best but am frightened...dh on way....in interview room on own and said could be while so not sure how he will find me and also wondering if can make suggestion of going home with him and some sort of care plan on trial basis? Want hospital in some ways terrified in others....this all feels out of hand but it's felt out of hand for a while now anyway so just new kind of out of hand :(

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Doyouthinktheysaurus · 25/08/2015 19:58

If the Dr's think you need admission, take it. It's normal to feel scared honestly, but it will be okay. The nurses and dr's at an in patient unit are specialists and are there to help you get better.

You did the tough bit, you acknowledged you need help, now take that help and let others support you.

I work at an in patient unit, hospital can feel very scary but the nurses will know that and do all they can to support you.

Well done on taking this really brave step

daisydalrymple · 25/08/2015 19:59

sleepless just let them take this burden off you for now. What you've done today has been such a hugely brave thing, you've made that step now, so accept all the support and treatment they offer and let somebody else worry about it all for you tonight. Accept a bed, try to sleep, be looked after and wake up tomorrow. Just one day at a time, that's all you have to think of. And no matter how hard today is, with the right support tomorrow will be that tiny bit easier. But you can face that tomorrow.

DriverSurpriseMe · 25/08/2015 20:00

I think you should go in, the care plan at home can be arranged once you've been discharged. You're doing the right thing xx

mummyneedinganswers · 25/08/2015 20:02

Being admitted will enable you to get more support. Social workers to put in a care plan, youll have access to 24/7 nurses and counsellors for when you need to talk. They will discuss medication with you and completely assess your mental state. I've have been in a psychiatric hospital granted it was a few years ago but aslong as you want the help you will be fine.

Good luck

Mimigolightly · 25/08/2015 20:03

I think you should take the in patient care. The hospital won't be nearly as scary as you've built it up to be in your mind. You'll be safe and well looked after x

KittyandTeal · 25/08/2015 20:04

I just wanted to say, I've followed your threads and you are doing really well to look after yourself and your baby.

Go to the psychiatric hospital, see how it is. You may find being an inpatient makes you feel a bit more secure.

Lolimax · 25/08/2015 20:06

Thinking of you. You've been so brave. I hope you get the care and treatment you deserve x

moggiek · 25/08/2015 20:08

Like mummy I've also been a psychiatric in patient, albeit over 30 years ago when things were a lot more primitive than they are now. Stay in, let them get a proper care plan in place for you before you go home.

I was suicidal at the time, but went on to make a full recovery.

Nonnainglese · 25/08/2015 20:08

The Drs and nurses will know what's best for you and your baby, be guided by them I'm sure your family and DH only want you kept safe and to be helped to get better.
You've taken that first, difficult step, and been very courageous in admitting you need help, here's to starting the road to getting better x

DreamingOfADifferentMe · 25/08/2015 20:09

Sleepless, am in awe of your strength and determination to do the right thing. Right now, it must feel terrifying and like you have no control about what will happen, but you're doing the best thing for you and your little one. As others have said, take everything hour by hour, day by day and accept all offers of help that come your way. Sending you love and strength.

Sirzy · 25/08/2015 20:10

I have nothing proper to add but well done for taking that first step must have been so hard to do. Glad they are taking you seriously and hope things start to improve soon.

Cocacolaandchocolate · 25/08/2015 20:17

Sleepless, you have come so far already, and you have already shown that you are a great parent who is putting her baby first by getting help with your mental health. Well done. I hope the hospital really does support you.

roughtyping · 25/08/2015 20:18

Sleepless I am so glad someone is taking notice and looking after you. You have 100% done the right thing, I worry about you all the time - I know how daft that sounds! But plays on my mind a lot. You made a really brave decision today, and I think it seems like the right one, from what you've posted. Really hope tonight goes better for you x

featherandblack · 25/08/2015 20:52

Sleepless I have been an inpatient (for 3 months) at a psychiatric ward and honestly, it's fine. It's just somewhere safe to stay while medications are being sorted out. I wouldn't worry about medications harming your baby because the doctors will have been there many times before with much, much more severe conditions than what you're experiencing. Let them do their job and relax knowing you are safe and can get through those early days of side-effects without a home to run or relationships to manage. I second others who have said that your family members will get used to this very quickly and it will be much better for them to know you are safe than to be the people trying to keep you safe - you know it's impossible outside of a hospital. Far better for them to preserve their own health by letting professionals deal with this tricky bit. I would also ask about mother and baby units straight away as you may find it reassuring to know that there is support available to help you parent your baby. It might be necessary to push for that if needed.

The first day or two in hospital is the worst because you're thinking 'how did I get here?' It happens to everyone and then you realise you're mostly surrounded by very sane and interesting people who have become ill in the same way that anyone can.

featherandblack · 25/08/2015 20:54

Oh, and what you are going through now has NO bearing on the amazing mother you are going to be. It shines through your writing - even in these dark days you are able to think of what's best for your baby. You are thinking like a brilliant mother already, at a time when many of us would have no room to care.

stace1986 · 25/08/2015 21:00

Sleepless well done for seeking the help you need, so brave of you. I am sure I speak for all the November ladies when I say you are in my thoughts. Be kind to yourself. I hope you have a peaceful night and a better day tomorrow.

Original poster

Sleeplessinnorthlondon · 26/08/2015 00:47

Dear all - final assessment decided community care plan with meds, weekly reviews and daily visits best so just home now and although am v happy to be in own bed am also relieved to be firmly on their radar and unable to slip through the net now. GP, midwives, psych etc all joined up from now on. Long, long night but the right things to do and feeling so so much safer. DH was there with me for most of it and fantastic. As are all of you. Thank you thank you thank you xxxx

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