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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

comments about size

20 replies

manateeandcake · 14/08/2015 07:26

I'm currently 31 weeks with DC2; in my last pregnancy, my bump measured quite small until the end (though a random man in the street did blurt out "big tummy!" as I walked past once - made me giggle!). This time, I've gained more weight overall and I'm sure my bump is bigger, though when the MW measures it it's either bang on for dates or maybe 1-2cm over. But I feel like everyone I see is commenting on how big I am, how fast it's growing, must be a big baby etc! I know they mean well and it's not that I feel insulted, it's just making me self-conscious and I'm surprised by how many people think it's OK to make comments about my size just because I'm pregnant. Just wondering if anyone else has had this, really!

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leadcrow · 14/08/2015 07:30

I'm only 17 weeks so not had any comments yet, but I have decided that if this happens and it makes me uncomfortable I'll tell people that they have made me feel uncomfortable or that I find their comments inappropriate. Not sure of the wording I'll use because I will probably end up coming across as rude, but depending on the person etc I might explain that I'm feeling self conscious atm etc

Clairejessica123 · 14/08/2015 07:32

All the time! I think people often forget how far along you are. I've just reached my third trimester and when people comment I tend to say well I a, in the third trimester you know. Which a lot of people respond thinking I'm not as far along if they don't see me regularly. With strangers I find just smiling sweetly and agreeing is easier

Tattersail · 14/08/2015 07:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Superexcited · 14/08/2015 07:42

I have had loads of comments about my bump size. It started when I was about 22 weeks and has got steadily worse (I am now 31 weeks). This is my third pregnancy and I had similar comments in my first two pregnancies.
Ridiculous comments like:
Ooohhh are you having twins as you're looking rather big
Oooohhh you'll never make the full 9 months
You look like you could burst any day
Are you sure you have you're dates correct
You're massive, oh my goodness you're never going to last....

My midwife has measured my bump and it is bang on the size it should be. I have had bigger than average babies in the past but I think my bump size is just the way that I carry and the fact that I am short and the fact that I am all bump with little weight or shape change anywhere else.
I just wish people would keep their opinions to themselves.

SomewhereovertheRainbow02 · 14/08/2015 07:47

Awww people are just excited for you and making small talk. I'm currently 36 weeks and been told I'm both massive and small ???? I can't be both but it's nice people, sometimes strangers are taking an interest

MissSMartin · 14/08/2015 07:50

I'm 17w with my first and I do actually have a bump.. not very big but everyone keeps saying 'where's your bump?" or "your not very big are you"
well to be honest it annoys me just because I feel proud of my little bump and I think I'm pretty big for 17w! I'm quite slim and didn't expect to show atall till I was at least 20w..
rant over..

Original poster

manateeandcake · 14/08/2015 10:35

These replies are making me feel a bit better -- I guess it's just one of those quirks of being pregnant. I agree that people may forget or not be aware how far along I am, also that they're usually just trying to say something to acknowledge the pregnancy and aren't sure what to say.

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WeePoppy · 14/08/2015 10:45

I'm the opposite.
Nearly 28 weeks now and people comment on how small and neat I am. At my 20 week scan, the girl at reception didn't even notice the bump and asked me if it I was in for an early scan...

blowinahoolie · 14/08/2015 12:38

Oh yes, I've had this from one of my neighbours quite a few times now...try to avoid hanging out my washing because it is getting very irritating hearing it now. Is it twins? Are you sure they haven't missed a heartbeat at the hospital scan? No they effing haven't. It's just the one.

It's very rude and intrusive and I wish people would shut up. I carried big the past two times, and I am carrying big yet again. Baby is fine, everything's as it should be.

You have my sympathies!

Cineraria · 14/08/2015 14:17

I haven't much minded the comments really but then people have mainly commented on the size of the bump and not the size of me. Funnily enough, the younger women at work, none of whom have children yet but are keen to so in future, have all commented on how huge the bump is. I think they are just excited to discuss it with me and think it's a compliment!

Those who have had children before, and are a bit older, have all commented that it's quite neat. Not sure if that means small or just that it sticks forward and doesn't spread at the sides. Looking at the other women around the same dates in my antenatal class, it looks about average to me.

Feline9 · 14/08/2015 15:13

I've had the opposite. My bump is small and round and I get people telling me my bump is tiny or that they couldn't tell I was pregnant from behind. I'm 37 weeks now and still have a small round bump.

MissSMartin · 14/08/2015 18:41

Oh and I commented yesterday about my small bump.. now today everyone's saying it's massive ( I wore a tight dress) can't win lol

Cherryblossomsinspring · 14/08/2015 21:10

Its just small talk, try not to let it get to you.

kbro79 · 14/08/2015 23:32

I had this too. Like you I wasn't insulted by it but it did start to make me worry. Especially as at 36 weeks we had been sent for a growth scan. My fave though was the woman in the supermarket that followed her 'are you sure it's not twins' comment with 'and look how swollen your feet are'. Erm thanks.

Agree it's just small talk and not worth stressing about but it didn't stop me finding it a bit worrying and uncomfortable. I would never dream of commenting on someone's bump size. But I think (hope) people mean well when they say it and it's just general excitement around how lovely a new baby is.

artisanroast · 15/08/2015 02:05

Hi,

I'm 30+6 weeks with DC1 and everyone looks at me with a look of - pregnant? really? you're how many weeks?

Its getting tiring... I feel like a fraud and want to pull out my scan to say 'yes, I am pregnant, here's the proof!'

I was slightly (and I mean about a lb or 2) underweight so I am consultant lead but nobody has any concerns and I follow the 50th centile. I should also say I am tall but very neat built. My Mum and Aunt both had small bumps too.

I want to hug the person who says, they were the same as me and not to worry because everything else feels so negative. Although maybe that's just my hormones being oversensitive!

I wish people would keep all comments (and surprised facial expressions) to themselves!

On the flip side I don't mind people touching my bump :)

ARV1981 · 15/08/2015 08:48

I used to get really upset when people said this stuff to me - especially as I've never had weight problems in the past... I even started wondering if I should diet!

I'm now nearly 36 weeks, so pretty Damn big! It's funny, since going on leave from work I've stopped caring so much - I think it was the (I'm sure kindly meant) comments from colleagues on a daily basis about how big I was that really got me down.

Who is it saying this to you? Is it colleagues or family? If family I'd ask them to stop, if colleagues, you'll be on leave soon enough and won't give a flying fuck what they say or think. If it's strangers, just ignore it as kindly meant but misplaced small talk.

Gingernut81 · 15/08/2015 10:13

I had comments the other day ranging from "what a lovely neat bump" to "you look fit to burst"! It's my first pregnancy so no idea what is/isn't "normal", just took them with a pinch of salt & laughed about it!

Mulligrubs · 15/08/2015 10:23

People talk crap, you'll get loads of "you look massive!" or "it must be a big baby" and you'll also get "what a neat bump" and "your bump is small." Basically, they're just making conversation. I am 27 weeks now and not had many comments yet but I imagine they'll be starting soon, lucky me

With my first pregnancy I got a few comments about being massive - looking back I really wasn't at all, DS was only 5lb12oz and my bump, while noticeable, was actually quite small! Equally at the time I got a few "where is the baby hiding" comments!

If it is making you uncomfortable, tell them. Or just say something like "well, I am pregnant I am supposed to have a bump/gain a bit of weight" or "baby is growing as he/she should be." That's what I did anyway! Don't let it worry you or anything if your midwife says you're measuring OK.

MrsMB01 · 15/08/2015 13:59

My FIL tried to call me fatty when my bump started to show He only made that mistake once.
It really irritates me that people think they have a right to comment on the weight/bump gain. Of course I am getting bigger -am growing a human.

Rant over - sensitive subject as you can see!

TreeSparrow · 15/08/2015 14:21

Clearly a sensitive subject. I don't think most people are intending to pass judgement at all; it's just something to say in conversation. Before being pregnant myself I did it!

Comments don't bother me at all. I normally just reply with agreement or saying, "yeah, I'm brooding a baby elephant" and laugh. Their opinion really doesn't matter but they're all well-intended in my experience.

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