Weirdest pregnancy moans!

[HedgehogAtHome]

It took us over 3 years to conceive DC2, so I am extremely happy and know how lucky I am to be pregnant. Trying to cherish it all.

But I can't get comfortable on the toilet! I have IBS so do spend a fair amount of time 'releasing the hostages' as it were. But my bump gets in the way and I'm sat there back like a rod while baby protests at being squashed (bump is huge and I am fairly small in the torso).

No one puts this in the books.

My labia have dropped about 3 inches and now look like droopy dawgs jowls.

#AllAboutTheGlam

My feet look like princess Fiona's! ( just edema but painful!)

I have the most extreme swelling down-stairs that I am constantly in agony while I'm sat down. Wiping when I have been to the toilet makes me cry. I'm getting teary just thinking about it!

Could it be varicose veins Rocker? My midwife asked if I had swelling anywhere and I told her my undercarriage feels like it's been kicked. She didn't have a box to tick for that so she left it. Maybe see if yours is more sympathetic.

Weird discharge...in a variety of luminous and alarming hues...no infection present and all perfectly normal, apparently.
Boke.

I will mention it at my next appointment Hedgehog, thank you.
And sorry loolah but that really made me

Being head to toe with papullar rash which I've never heard of before last week, but seems to be an allergy to pregnancy!?! Oh the itching...

Getting stuck in the bath everyday! Not being able to do the washing up I like doing it properly, dh just doesn't do it right....shut up lol all this bloody waiting! X

Rockermummy184 there's mornings where I think "I wonder what colour we'll have today!" before I pull down my gonks for that first pee o' th' day

Feel like I'm not alone

Also nosebleeds on hot days - I've forgotten what normal snot looks like!

Bright radioactive green wee

The farting that could power a wind farm off the Welsh coast. It's prolonged and loud.

DP just looks at me as if to say "how did we actually make a baby?"

Yup...my baby is fond of doing the occasional merry jig on my bladder too.

The rapid rate with which my hair is growing and I'm not referring to the hair on my head! Ffs body I wish you'd stop! I'm practically a wolf woman now! I can no longer reach my legs and haven't seen my fanny in weeks, how am I supposed to sort that mess out?!

FernGullysWoollyPully I've had to resort to positioning a large mirror on the side of the bath and using it to guide my topiary endeavours.

I'm getting loads of bogeys.

My random one is dry skin on my ears. Never before in my life.... I'm six weeks pg and this is my current weird one. The rest is just annoying but textbook

Random bouts of very extreme slobbering which would make me dribble when I ate. 'ffs don't give me a biscuit or we'll all down'

ok - clearly TMI but my arse itches. Not all the time but can get horrible urges to scratch myself. Mainly associated with when I feel hot (and I get waves of sweating with my nausea)

Worried I will forget myself and start furtling in my pants in front of my boss. Not to mention the hygeine....

My wee smells weird all the time
I am sweating buckets overnight in my nether regions (either that or it's small continuous incontinence...)
Leg hair isn't growing, but armpit and pubic hair is going mental
Being too big at 32 weeks to be able to complete a proper front to back wipe after going to the loo
having to bend down like a stork with 1 leg in the air as I can't bend down any other way

Oh the glamour!

OMG I thought I was the only one with the mega boogies and itchy arse! I honestly thought I had worms (I don't).

OMG I thought I was the only one with the mega boogies and itchy arse! I honestly thought I had worms (I don't).

OMG I thought I was the only one with the mega boogies and itchy arse! I honestly thought I had worms (I don't).

ha ha, triple post. No idea why!