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Original poster

Inappropriate comments at work?

12 replies

RoseyThePony · 10/07/2015 16:23

I work for a big company, with great maternity benefits and a history of treating women fairly when they are pregnant and when they return from Mat leave. But some of my colleagues have been saying and doing really inappropriate things, some bordering on discrimination. I don't know what to do!

OP posts:
MyDHhasnomemory · 10/07/2015 16:24

Write everything down and then speak to HR or your line manager?

Original poster
RoseyThePony · 10/07/2015 16:56

Good idea to record things - I'll start doing that now so I don't forget things.

I raised concerns with my line manager earlier this week and she said I needed to 'take a step back' - I guess she thinks I'm being emotional.

Has anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:
Skiptonlass · 10/07/2015 17:11

Yes. I live in a country with excellent maternity benefits and work for a big global multinational. My line manager is American. And awful.

From the day I told her I'm pregnant, she's sidelined me, piled work on but taken the responsibilities that make me more senior etc. constant passive aggressive comments on "extended" European maternity leaves (they get nowt over there.) nothing I could concretely go to HR with.

So... the people in my local office are great, but upstream from me, less so. Very disappointing. I've been nothing but professional, sourced, interviewed and trained my replacement, drawn up full cover plans, dragged myself in through severe sickness and spd. Had no days off last two years and just one this year yet they're treating me like I've checked out already. It's really disheartening.

What sort of stuff are people doing to you that's inappropriate?

ARV1981 · 10/07/2015 19:56

Some people can be poisonous. My stupid line manager made a joke that I had had sex...Hmm well duh, yes that's how babies are usually made and once you're in a managerial position you should be mature enough to edit what comes out of your mouth!

I only have 2 weeks left and can't wait to be rid of the place!!!

BrienneofQarth · 10/07/2015 20:31

When pregnant with dd, I worked for a company with fantastic maternity benefits, and a hellish boss who asked me, after 2.5 weeks off sick (following a 5 day stay in hdu after contracting septicaemia, which she knew about) if I could guarantee I would not be sick again during my pregnancy.

Head case.

ribbitTheFrog · 10/07/2015 21:01

I feel for you OP, I had the same in my first pregnancy. I went from being a star performer to having most of my work taken away Confused they were totally disinterested in me. American company. I returned after mat leave but I'd already been written out, I'm looking for a new role now Smile

milliemoon · 11/07/2015 10:22

When I was pregnant with my son, when I told the manager, she looked at my with a raised eyebrow and said 'well what contraception are you using?' as if I was a naughty school girl in trouble. He was a very longed for baby, not that it was any of her business. Some people are so rude

ARV1981 · 11/07/2015 11:46

Yes, I had the 's as it planned' question from senior managers, made me feel like I shouldn't have planned a family to disrupt their business plans! It was quite awkward and I don't think entirely appropriate.

Just gave me one more reason to look for another job at the end of my mat leave instead of going back to them.

Gray91 · 12/07/2015 20:14

Not just me then. I've had a lot of 'was it planned' and 'but you're so young'. I'm 24, married and have a mortgage, and get treated like getting pregnant was a totally inappropriate act. Amongst all the other comments, the worst had to be in a meeting ~ there were 15 other people present and on the subject of season changing for cows and the discussion of milking (I work in food procurement), a senior member of staff announced 'you'll need this tips for when have your baby'. It was incredibly embarrassing. Mind you, this was the same member of staff that said they 'didn't know whether to congratulate or commiserate me' because of my age.

I can't wait to leave.

RockerMummy184 · 12/07/2015 20:48

When I was pregnant with DS I used to get awful passive aggressive comments from my manager. When I reported him to HR and it was investigated his reply was 'oh she's just hormonal because she's pregnant and it's making her overly sensitive!'

Infuriatingly HR seemed to agree with him and requested I take some time off on the sick to deal with it!! I was so angry.
Needless to say I no longer work for that company!

Original poster
RoseyThePony · 12/07/2015 23:20

Most of my colleagues have been super nice, but my name was removed from a big project even though I'll still be there for 2/3 of it and my role will be covered afterwards. The reason given was that I have a 'much more important project to deliver'.

I've also had comments like 'you're not on Maternity leave let!' and weird remarks about a campaign which involved expectant mothers painting slogans on their bumps. As if somehow I ought to do the same.

So weird and made me feel really uncomfortable.

Might be a good idea to look for something else post-Mat leave. Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
RoseyThePony · 12/07/2015 23:22

Rocker I also reported some of my concerns to my line manager who said I needed to 'take a step back' and put things into perspective.

Made me feel like I was overreacting when really she should have been assuring me something would be done about it.

OP posts:
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