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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Reduced movements, husband says I shouldn't worry

85 replies

ARV1981 · 04/07/2015 07:13

But I can't help it. My twin sister had a stillborn baby two years ago and it terrifies me that the same will happen to me.

I've hardly felt baby move this morning since waking up and usually it's going nuts in there first thing. My husband says I shouldn't worry and that I'm being paranoid as he felt it moving last night. But I'm scared.

I know my husband has plans today which he doesn't want to upset and I think that's why he's got so cross with me for mentioning it. If this was happening to anyone else I'd be telling them to phone their midwife, but my husband's reaction has got me questioning myself.

What would you do?

I'm 29 weeks btw (30 on Monday).

OP posts:

weelamb123 · 04/07/2015 11:31

I'm sorry, what? Dh will be pissed off cos HE'S not been sleeping. This is ur unborn baby's life we're talking about here. He sounds fucking awful.

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/07/2015 11:43

Then you reassure miss

you don't get cross.

not harsh at all

MadameJosephine · 04/07/2015 11:51

Glad you've gone to be checked, hope everything is ok. You should always listen to your instincts if you have concerns, particularly with your family history.

Getting the bus won't kill him but surely he could have got his backside out of bed and gone to the hospital with you for support?

specialsubject · 04/07/2015 11:56

he's up for 18 years of having plans disrupted so he'd better get used to it.

hope all is well.

batfish · 04/07/2015 12:19

Glad you're going in and hope all is fine. I had a quiet evening last week which was unusual and my husband was a massive stress pot over it all, wanted me to go in the next day when everything was already back to normal just in case! I thought he was being OTT but I'd rather he was like that than trying to make me ignore it. Not defending his actions but does he realise how important movement is and that we should get checked out when they reduce?

weelamb123 · 04/07/2015 15:01

I feel for you. I still can't believe u had to go and checked urself and he lay in his bed. Y on earth did you marry this man in the first place? This is when a man usually steps up and u realise u are with them but he sounds awful.

NerrSnerr · 04/07/2015 15:04

How did it go?

AlpacaMyBags · 04/07/2015 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

midsummabreak · 04/07/2015 15:18

Good luck with baby being checked out ARV

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 04/07/2015 15:19

Hope everything is ok. He needs to get used to having his plans upset!

MyPelvicFloorTrainsItself · 04/07/2015 15:27

Well done for following your instincts.

TheRealNightsWatch · 04/07/2015 18:32

Are you ok? Been wondering how you got on today.

ILoveMyMonkey · 04/07/2015 18:38

Hope everything is ok and your husband wakes up to his responsibilities!

Penguinandminipenguin · 04/07/2015 19:38

Hope everything is ok! You did the right thing by going in, your husband needs to face up to his responsibilities and put the baby first.

Finola1step · 04/07/2015 19:42

Hope all is ok

RattleAndRoll · 04/07/2015 21:36

Hope all is ok OP. Been thinking about you today x

Original poster

ARV1981 · 04/07/2015 22:29

Hi all, sorry for not posting back. I went in alone, was hooked up to the monitor, and everything was fine. I felt a little stupid, but the midwife told me to always go in if I think something is off. So glad that there was nothing wrong.

Got back in time to take my husband to his thing. Had words with him about it, but he thinks I should have woken him up (he made it clear before falling back to sleep that he thought I was being silly) I am now wondering whether he's father material at all. He didn't once say sorry.

We just got home and he wants to go out again to meet his mates. I asked him to stay in with me but now the atmosphere in the house is poisonous so I wish I'd not said anything at all. Seriously reconsidering our relationship. I just feel so let down by him, but all he does is make me feel like I'm the one with the problem. Like I should be ok with him going out to get high with his mates while I sit at home worrying if he'll ever grow up enough to be a proper dad to this baby.

Sorry for long post. And sorry for not posting back sooner - I dropped him off, then went to help my sister (who just came out of hospital) with her ds (who's in the terrible twos...) So haven't had a chance.

OP posts:

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/07/2015 22:33

First of all I'm really really thrilled for you that everything is ok. do not feel stupid. not at all. It was completely the right thing to do. There are hundreds of threads just like this where it's unanimous- get it checked.

I'm so sorry hour dh is being like this. I'm. not surprised you are questioning things

but tonight just take care of yourself and get some rest. It's been a long stressful day.

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 04/07/2015 22:36

What sort of high? Pot or stronger? Honestly yes, going out doesn't bode well given the argument and scare. Going out to do drugs even less so.

Glad you are ok.

SirNiallDementia · 04/07/2015 23:27

Really glad to hear baby is ok . You have to get these things checked out just in case.

I'm sorry your partner is being so horrid, it shouldn't be like that you know x

Smartiepants79 · 04/07/2015 23:35

Your husband sounds poisonous. Trust your instincts and don't let him bully you into putting him first all the time.
In the same situation my DH left work and cancelled a weekend away to be with me in hospital and keep an eye on our baby.
He does not sounds like a good husband or father.

batfish · 05/07/2015 05:54

So glad everything is OK and you should never feel stupid like the midwife said. Very sad to hear about your husband's behaviour, really hope he learns to man up and look after his wife and child instead of himself, my husband has occasionally been driving me a little bit mad with not allowing me to do things but I'm suddenly very grateful for it!

OhEmGeee · 05/07/2015 07:11

Your dh sounds awful.

Reality check, he is not going to get much sleep at all when the baby arrives. Life will revolve around your baby, not him and his social life, not you taking him places. He's out getting high? Then you have bigger issues and I would be questioning him as a decent father and husband. You and your baby need a happy, safe and secure environment.

SewingAndCakes · 05/07/2015 07:21

I'm so glad that your baby is ok, that must be a huge relief!

Sorry that DH is being an idiot too. Is he then trying to suggest that if you'd woken him he would have been supportive and gone to hospital with you (even though you know he wouldn't have)?

I hope you can get a rest today, make sure you put yourself and your baby first

TheRealNightsWatch · 05/07/2015 07:22

Oh love, it does sound worrying that he seems to have so little regard for you and your baby's well being.

If he is prioritising going out to get wrecked over family life I do fear you have troubles ahead.

Do you have good support? Be strong and don't take any shit from him, you deserve better.

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