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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Stress in pregnancy please help

12 replies

tashahall1986 · 18/06/2015 16:13

Hi ladies I have recently found out I'm pregnant again after losing my baby in March. I work full time and had a month off when I lost my baby. Now I'm pregnant again they are being terrible with me and using the fact I lost my last baby against me. I'm getting worked up every day not sleeping, crying and hate coming into work, please could someone give me advice on what to do as I can't carry on anymore

OP posts:

Newtobecomingamum · 18/06/2015 16:23

Oh my god what nasty f@ckers!!

Your health and that if the baby's is the most important!!

If it's that bad then I would get signed off immediately for pregnancy related stress (if it goes down as pregnancy related it can not affect your sickness record).

I would contact Maternity Action who can provide advice and have experience in these types of matters. www.maternityaction.org.uk/wp/

Best of luck x

Newtobecomingamum · 18/06/2015 16:25

I forgot to add.., I'm sorry you are feeling so awful and being treated so badly... But please please try not to get so stressed out as not good for the baby. Remove yourself from the stress and go and see GP!

Also congratulations on the pregnancy

Original poster

tashahall1986 · 18/06/2015 16:27

Thanks Hun, I'm absolutely distraught at how they are being I considered phoning the midwife and asking for a sick note but feel so guilty as I'm only 8 weeks but as this is 4th pregnancy altogether I'm showing very early so had to tell them early :-( I literally could of walked out of work today with how nasty they are being

OP posts:

Newtobecomingamum · 18/06/2015 16:32

That's is absolutely awful!! How bloody unsympathetic can they be after what you have just been through!!

Don't walk out.. As this will go against you. Say you are really unwell and need to see your GP. If you are stressed and it's making you feel sick and it's work doing this then id def get signed off until the issues can be resolved.

Contact Maternity Action as they will provide best advice how to deal with your employer. They will prob advise you to send an email to your manager and HR dep detailing all of your concerns and how it has caused you to be signed off work etc and ask them to respond in writing. You then take matters from there. X

Original poster

tashahall1986 · 18/06/2015 16:37

Thanks Hun, unfortunately we don't have an HR department :-( i was worried about going on sick as had a month off after my miscarriage and was worried I wouldn't get paid if I went off sick again x

OP posts:

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 18/06/2015 16:37

Very sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it OP. What are they doing?

Newtobecomingamum · 18/06/2015 16:44

Maternity Action will have all the answers in relation to employers and pay etc. I'm sure if a doc signs you off and it's pregnancy related they have to give you full pay... I'm pretty sure! They will be the experts though.

At the end of the day... No job is worth that much stress if it's that bad and until the issues could resolved (whatever they maybe) I would remove myself from the situation x

Original poster

tashahall1986 · 18/06/2015 16:59

Hi likeasoul, they basically told me today that they showed a lot of lenience when I lost my last baby so I should be making the time up now I'm back, also as I'm due a pay review at the end of this month they are now saying I don't do enough and I should be working harder bearing in mind my contract says admin and I currently do that and accounts, payroll, hr, sales, purchasing and IT also my daughter got taken into hospital last week and they are not happy about that at all x

OP posts:

DimpleHands · 18/06/2015 21:48

Re pay, they are entitled to put you on statutory sick pay if you get signed off sick (even for pregnancy related reasons). If/when this happens depends on what it says in your employment contract. For example, in my job, my contract says I will be paid full pay no matter how long I am off sick (this is very generous and very unusual!). My nanny's contract said she would go on statutory sick pay straight away - no lee-way.

Please also bear in mind that the amount of your maternity pay (the first six weeks at 90% usual pay) will depend upon your pay between weeks 17 and 25 of your pregnancy. So if you are signed off on statutory sick pay (which is something like £85 per week) during those weeks, you will get very little. Maybe bear this in mind if you are getting signed off... try to be back at work for those weeks...

I would start throwing your weight around a bit if I were you. Keep a log of all incidents and comments that you feel are discriminatory/a change to how you were treated before. If it continues, tell them you have taken legal advice and that they are acting in a discriminatory way. Show them your log. They will change their tune immediately, I am sure! Make sure you let them know that you know your rights.

In the meantime, tell them you are feeling very stressed because of the treatment you are getting. They are legally obliged to carry out a risk assessment when you are pregnant and that includes in relation to stress.

FeelTheNoise · 21/06/2015 10:14

My work have been awful I would highly recommend joining a union. I didn't directly use my union rep, but he gave me the confidence to really stand up for myself

popalot · 21/06/2015 10:21

Who is telling you this? The boss? Is it a small company? I would say it was harassment. Maybe citizens advice bureau could give you some advice on what to do. In the long run, you won't really want to work there because they are clearly arseholes and you do more than you are supposed to but they are not going to pay you for it. So it's a bit of a catch 22, because if you leave now you will have to find another job whilst pregnant.

Hippymama1 · 21/06/2015 13:57

I would take some additional advice OP before getting signed off, only because if you put it as pregnancy related stress and then want to raise a grievance against someone / go for an employment tribunal, the pregnancy bit might give them a bit of wriggle room...

The stress is being caused by your work and the idiots you work with and is therefore really work related stress rather than you being stressed because of your pregnancy... Not sure it makes a huge amount of difference but I would check before I handed in a sick note with it on.

Also as Dimple says, keep a note of everything. If this situation turns nasty and you go through the grievance / tribunal route (which you should if this treatment continues!) then this is the type of info which will really help you. In fact, just knowing that you have taken some advice and are keeping a note of everything might get your employer to reflect on the error of their ways before you hit them right in the wallet.

Keep well and remember to come back for more support here if you need it - nothing is worth making yourself unhappy about, particularly when you have had such a tough year already and should be enjoying your pregnancy.

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