Extremely anxious still at 12 weeks.

[Jilly84]

Hi Ladies,

I'm hoping for some reassurance really more than anything (apologies for the rambling in advance). This is my first pregnancy and I'm just over 12 weeks. So far I've had 3 bleeds at 5 weeks, 9 weeks and a very mild one just a couple of days ago. No real cause could be found at the EPAU and it was suggested constipation might be a factor as I've had a healthy dose of that for the last 6 weeks (sorry if TMI).

I've also had a tummy ache that is there 80% of the time for the last 6 weeks, it's not unbearable mostly uncomfortable but can range from a burning feeling by my pubic bone to cramps and general acheyness all over my lower abdomen. I've tried to convince myself this is probably related to the constipation, but having never suffered from this prior to this pregnancy I just don't know.

My midwife is pretty useless (I had a cover midwife as the usual one was on holiday, so I've not met the normal one yet). When I mentioned the stomach ache to her she laughed at me and told me to stop complaining and get used to it. I've had 5 scans so far (1 private reassurance scan) all show baby is healthy and growing right on target and no obvious signs of anything else wrong (most recently on Saturday). I have my official 12 week scan on Friday.

I want to be excited and to tell everyone my news, but I'm terrified that in my case 12 weeks doesn't mean that i'm 'safe' due to whats happened so far and that the statistics don't apply to me. I've become scared of going to the loo in case I cause or find more bleeding.

Any advice please or do I just need to get a grip? Thanks in advance

I was super anxious (and still am), and I think pregnancy hormones make it worse. Definitely speak to your GP, I've been referred for CBT to help me get some effective coping strategies that I can do while pregnant. And it's all happening really quickly - they really want to help pregnant women straight away.

Have you got anything for the constipation yet? I know it's always the big stuff that you focus on, but fixing some of the minor issues can have a huge impact on how you feel. I'm having to take Fybogel twice a day to feel remotely okay because of the constipation, and Omeprazole to control the acid reflux enough that I can lie down and sleep. Getting the physical basics working as well as possible can really help with other issues.

I've had cramps type pains, some quite strong, the whole way through so far. Also a bleed at about 9 weeks, Now twenty weeks.

My midwife and I spoke about it and she was very reassuring. If you think about it, pregnancy is a process in which there is a massive amount of tissue remodelling. Your uterus is normally about the size of a fist - suddenly it has to gear up to expand and there is a lot of new vascularisation etc. tons of stuff going on down there, even at that early stage. my midwife said she was surprised more people don't bleed!
Add in hormones all over the place and it perhaps irritating your vowel a bit...
There's really very little you can do at this early stage - always contact the midwife for severe pain or bleeding but don't fret too much about cramp aches and pains in general :)

Bowel not vowel :) damn phone

I've worried all the way through but you really do have to get used to random pains and cramps. As long as they're not really bad I ignore them. In fact once I woke up in the night with bad crampy pain and I went to hospital at 3am. They found no reason and pretty much said 'it happens'!

Now at 32 weeks I have random pains at least once a day. Focus on the fact that the scans are all showing a perfect little baby!

Thanks ladies, just reading your replies makes me relax a little.

Sian - thanks, I have been taking lactulose, it seems to help but with limited success. I'm not sure if that's something I can take week after week though. You are right though I should try to address things step by step.

Half of me hopes that if I just ignore everything I will continue to claw my way through this pregnancy and everything will turn out ok. But I'm making myself utterly miserable, along with my partner which makes me feel unbearably guilty. I'm worried about seeming over dramatic by booking a doctors appointment or unable to cope.

I'm at about the same point as you and also have my scan on Friday. I've had two already because my first pregnancy was a molar pregnancy and they needed to ensure this one wasn't a repeat. I find that, in the days leading up to the scan, I get more and more anxious as I start to anticipate things that might have gone wrong. What I've found works for me is to remind myself that millions of women have healthy pregnancies, so there is no reason I shouldn't be one of them. Additionally, it's out of my hands right now. All I can do is keep myself healthy and positive.

I have also experienced quite a lot of cramping, though it's never been terribly severe. I like to think of it as a sign that my babies (there are two!) are growing and getting bigger and stronger.

Congrats on your twins!

It actually does help to think that there's nothing special about me and no reason why I shouldn't be with the majority who at this point go on to have successful pregnancies and births. I just need to convince myself of that!

Do you think I should try to relax and share my news with people on Friday after the scan? I would just absolutely hate everyone to have to know about a miscarriage if everything did go wrong. I'm an extremely closed/private person when it comes to bad news.

Hello, I just wanted to reassure you that I have had bleeding, 4 episodes between 7 and 13 weeks, but I am now 18 weeks and all is going fine. In the first trimester I was really stressed out, but once I passed 12 weeks and began telling people I was able to relax and start enjoying it.

There is no rush to tell people if you aren't ready, perhaps tell close family first and leave it a while before telling others? Just do whatever is best for you and very best of luck.

Well, most people I know are shit at keeping secrets. My husband told his manager at work to talk about getting some time off in lieu of overtime when the babies are born, and suddenly it seemed like the whole company knew. One person overheard the conversation and word spread from there. I would start with just telling the people you're closest to, and things will kind of naturally spread over time.

Thanks again for the reassurance. I think I'd be a lot less anxious if it wasn't for the combination of this incessant stomach ache and then the bleeds as well. I've actually gotten away with all the standard 'normal' symptoms pretty well so far.

It's oddly comforting that it seems more common to have several bouts of bleeding and then go on to have a successful pregnancy. The hospital referred to me as a 'bleeder', so I'm guessing I'm just prone to it.

I've told my immediate family and a few close friends. I didn't really have a choice, thanks to the bloating I already look 5-6 months pregnant. I really do want to share my news and have people be excited for me. Just so scared about having to untell them.

Op if it helps, this is my third pg and I have had the aches and pains you describe in all three thought the first trimester. Once I reach the second tri they tend to move on to round ligament pain (a bit higher up and yo the sides!) Some of us just feel these things more than others but it's totally within the realms of normal.

I am also 'a bleeder'! I usually bleed from 6 weeks more on than off until about 14 or 15 weeks, then sporadically after that until about 24 weeks. When I told the obstetrician this time around at 16 weeks that I was still bleeding and had daily since 6 weeks his response was: "well, I think you'll just have to get used to that as it may carry on like that!" no significant cause has ever been found and I've had two healthy do and this one is looking good so far.

At your stage the placenta is growing and tapping into your blood vessels all the time, it's really no wonder there are little leaks from time to time.

Warning signs I've been told to look out for are severe cramping (the sort that paracetamol, a warm bath and a rest doesn't even touch), and/or heavy red bleeding (soaking through at least one pad every hour to 2 hrs). Unless you are experiencing that, and especially given your scans have been good so far, I think you can afford to relax!

There is no pressure to tell people though. Your swelling belly will be a lot more noticeable to you then others (and you'll probably find that as you move into tri 2 the bloating and constipation will reduce and you will look more normal again for a bit).

On the constipation, are you taking a multi vit? If you are, stop for a week and just take folic acid and vit d instead and see if that eased things. The iron in pregnacare can be rotten for bunging you up!

Thanks TakesTwoToTango. I'm sorry to hear you've suffered from the same troubles but feeling reassured that everything turned out well for you. I do feel much better for reading everyone elses experiences.

I am on a pregnancy vitamin tablet but I never thought to check whether there is iron in it, I'll have a look as soon as I'm home from work.

I've booked a doctors appointment for tomorrow to hopefully talk it through with them and at least get something for the stomach ache/bowel probs. The pharmacy wouldn't give me anything last night when I told them I was pregnant and had been having problems for the last 6 weeks.