Don't know if I want a child....

[splitheart]

Hi everyone. I'm new here and really hoping you can share your thoughts and experiences with me.
I am 31, happily married, work full time and really don't know if I want children or not. It is on my mind CONSTANTLY. My OH has said it is up to me and maybe try to stop thinking about and just see how I feel but I can's just not think about it. So many of my friends are pregnant or trying and it's also on my mind that I'm not getting any younger.

FOR - making a family with my OH, fun at Christmases etc, having that special bond, not being left out if everyone else has children.

AGAINST - not having time to myself, having to share my OH, worry about the childs health, how they're doing at school etc (there are SO many worries), cost, coping with still working, being tired all the time, all the additional jobs - cleaning more, cooking more often etc, it changing my relationship with OH for the worst, not liking the child, having to have other peoples children round for playdates, needing to take them to football practice etc rather than a lazy morning on the sofa.

I know that many of my reasons will come across as selfish but I am being honest as I really am struggling with this. If I don't have a child, will I regret it in 10-15 years time. If I do, might I still regret it?.....

All thoughts and experiences welcome. Thank you.

Thanks all for sharing your experiences of how you felt. Plateofcrumbs, I do feel a certain emptiness and my DH has suggested it may be baby shaped..... But like you all say I still have too many doubts. I used to look at babies and think, no way. But now when I am with my friends babies I feel a little maternal and my heart did swell when my DH was strapped up with a friends on a walk and I imagined what our own would look like. But then my practical mind gets a grip and I panic and I'm back as square one.

I'll see how I feel over the next few months I suppose.

That just made me feel sick,
Terminations are not & should never be used as birth control.
Fair enough deciding not to get pregnant but getting pregnant not "feeling it" & getting rid is vile.

The OPs already discarded that idea.

Maybe sack off the baby talk for the minute and revisit in maybe a years time. There's no rush. Tbh with you, if it's your bloke who's brought up the baby idea he may be more on board than you think... Especially if he wants to 'give it a shot and see how you feel when you get there'then offering an option if its not what you want.

You take care of the contraception atm.