Birth plan with midwife. HELP. She makes me feel shitty.

[Rebecca1608]

First of all i'm almost 31 weeks pregnant with mono-di twin girls. Consultant led and very happy with how they're keeping an eye on me with appointments and scans fortnightly.

HOWEVER. I saw my midwife thursday and she's given me a birth plan pack to fill in or atleast look over then to make another appointment to see her to finish off. I told her there wasn't much i could put down as i was opting for an ELCS. Which my consultant agreed was the best idea considering the complications with just having the one placenta & the fact one baby is always breech while the other is transverse.

Yet my midwife keeps telling me not to rush my decision. I informed her i've known i was expecting twins since around 7 weeks due to a scare and i'd given it plenty of thought and all i need is a date to go in.

I also mentioned when asked about feeding that i was doing bottle only. I said i may be too tired to express or struggle to breastfeed 2. It would make it easier for my OH to feed and mum who has offered to help aswell.

She just let me know that it wasn't all about me and what was easier for me. C sections are traumatic and babies need the goodness from breast milk. I feel like i'm making rubbish decisions now and i'm due to see her again tuesday with no paper work done when i could potentially only have 5 weeks or so left.

Thanks everyone i can finally look forward now and not feel bad about the decisions i've made!

Gosh - your midwife sounds awful - what a shame you can't change. Glad you'll be accompanied to the appointment with her.

Did you mention to the consultant about the less than medically sound advice you're getting from the midwife re caesarian?

All the best!

I'm a huge advocate for breastfeeding and have bf my children but even so wouldn't want to try and bf twins!! Your mw sounds pretty lacking in empathy.

My date for c-section has been finalised now (well if babies stay put until 8th June) lol i'll be 36+3 but i informed consultant about what midwife said about a section "imagine just floating around for months then just being pulled out. How traumatic" my consultant was very taken back and said it was awful. She said i should still see her tomorrow but show her my notes that a plan has already been put in place for me and also it was the safest option for babies and myself. Also if i didn't want to breast feed not to feel under pressure.

My C section was very calm and I don't see how being 'pulled out' is more traumatic than being pushed out! Less I would have thought.

Honestly, dd cried for about 2 mins then fell asleep. Our elective C was an excellent birth. I'd have another tomorrow.

Good luck OP. Will you let us know how it goes?

Kapai there's loads of research showing that vaginal delivery is better for both mother and baby in so many ways, perhaps that's where the idea of it being less stressful comes from?

Not that I'm saying one way is right for everyone (had a cesarean myself) but that's just what the research shows.

I had a emergency C after a very traumatic labour. It was a blessing in the end.

Good luck op

Well VB is certainly not less stressful for baby if you are a stuck twin in the wrong position.

Thanks all. Definitely not regretting my choice. Currently in hospital so they can monitor me. Having steroids early and a bit touch and go whether i'll start or girls can hang on til the 8th. Hopefully latter. I'm only 32 weeks.

Fingers crossed they get to stay a bit longer Rebecca.

Thankyou Kapai. I'm keeping everything crossed atm.