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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

gender disappointment

54 replies

Dragonfly85 · 10/04/2015 15:18

Just found out that I am having a little boy, Both my so and I was sure it was going to be a girl so we were a bit disappointed it was a boy due to having planed for our girl for 5 months.
don't get me wrong i am so happy that my son is healty and excited to meet him in August and i love him so much already but I feel sad that I won't have that little girl we planned for but if we do try again I hope that we could have our April we dreamed of and I know our son will be a great big brother

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 10/04/2015 15:25

I am a bit confused. How were you planning for, expecting and naming a girl before the scan? Do you mean you just assumed?

Number3cometome · 10/04/2015 15:25

I'm getting a cup of ready for the answers to this one!

AlpacaMyBags · 10/04/2015 15:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Zahrah5 · 10/04/2015 15:28

OP I dont understand how you could have planned for a girl for 5 months.

You could have wished for a girl or perhaps dream about it , but plan? With that you are just setting up yourself for possible dispointment.

I am sure once you see your little boy you will forget all about the girl. You would never wish him to be different. Boys are very sweet.

slightlyconfused85 · 10/04/2015 15:29

What made you sure you were having a girl? Why did you plan for something that is in fact 50 50? No need to be disappointed you have a healthy baby in there

BunnyLebowski · 10/04/2015 15:30

Well it was a bit daft to let yourself get so carried away based on precisely nothing wasn't it?

Boys are awesome. Girls are awesome. Babies are awesome.

JustAQuicky · 10/04/2015 15:52

You'll get the herds of MNetters telling you about how so and so down the road can't conceive and you should just be grateful/poor baby etc

Op I know how you feel!

Pregnancy entirely different, was super I'll and in mine and my DP's family when you're super I'll they've all had girls. I'm still taking anti-sickness tablets now at nearly 30 weeks.

Felt like I did with DC and I was right about gender we'd picked a name, and when it was announce a boy I was gutted I got over it though and love him ofc! Now we can't wait I was disappointed though

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 10/04/2015 16:10

It isn't about being grateful you can conceive There have been plenty of people who have posted with a degree of self awareness about difficult feelings on the sex of their child and been given a sympathetic hearing.

It's about the fact that it is daft to make assumptions about the sex of your child based on nothing more than a hunch, or whether you are sick, or what you want to be the case.

Very sad when that leads to emotional upset, but still rather predictable.

slightlyconfused85 · 10/04/2015 16:42

Don't think anyone is saying she can't be disappointed- can't help how she feels. But it's pretty silly to plan for a particular sex when there is no way of knowing before scan

RL20 · 10/04/2015 16:45

JustAQuicky - of course the OP will get those sort of replies. Because it's totally true! I don't think it required the '' face at all. There ARE people who can't conceive who would do anything for either a boy or a girl.

OP you say you have a healthy baby, so try and focus on that. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy

JustAQuicky · 10/04/2015 16:57

That's not the OP's fault. She's grateful and happy her baby's healthy. She is entirely entitled to feel disappointed.

Some people can't afford food doesn't mean others can't feel disappointed if they were hoping for something different for dinner.

RL20 · 10/04/2015 16:58

I didn't say it was the OP's fault, in fact I've even been positive and just said to try and focus on the fact that's it's a healthy baby.
I'm just stating that of course she will get the replies that you made a face at

JustAQuicky · 10/04/2015 17:06

But she's happy he's healthy and excited to meet him.

If she had said that she didn't want him now/was dreading him being here Ect then ofc those post should be shown, but she hasn't so they're not needed a

moomoob · 10/04/2015 18:02

I felt exactly the same I was upset when ds1 was going to be a boy, by the time he was born I'd got over it I think buying blue bits helped with that and I was besotted soon as he was born. I also thought it's ok we'll probably have another dc maybe I'll get a girl then so when we found out dc2 was going to be another boy I didn't speak for days. Again fast forward to his birth and watching the brothers grow and become best friends it was brilliant. 4 yrs on when I find I'm expecting again I honestly wasn't bothered either way. Ds3 was also a boy he's almost 7 weeks now and I'm so happy with my 3 boys I will not be trying for a girl. Don't feel guilty for being a bit disappointed for now you'll soon forget those feelings

goodnessgraciousgouda · 10/04/2015 19:06

Why the hell would you plan a certainty on something without any evidence to support your assumption?

Unless you had scans and they told you the wrong gender? That I could understand.

scarednoob · 10/04/2015 19:10

i think OP simply means they had a strong instinct/desire and believed it, that's all!

mostly i agree with the PP who said all babies are awesome. hell yeah to that.

Carrierpenguin · 10/04/2015 19:15

This is really odd, how can you plan for a girl when the sex is 50:50? I think it was pretty foolish to make assumptions on your child before you knew the sex, sorry if that sounds harsh but why would you do it?!

I like to find out the sex but so that I can get excited about the baby and plan names, I can't understand planning a sex.

Bluebell84 · 10/04/2015 22:26

I was disappointed DC3 was a girl. I really wanted three boys. but I am ok with it now.

I am confused through...we didn't buy anything, just imagined life with three sons. I am surprised u named your daughter and brought things before u knew for sure?

did buying more things make the possibility
more real??

GraysAnalogy · 10/04/2015 22:28

Sorry but you sound incredibly childish. Your son will be a great big brother to his brother. It doesn't matter.

plannedshock · 10/04/2015 22:30

Slight disappointment I can get my head around, preparing for a girl for 5mths? Haha wtf really? How was you actually preparing?

Fattycow · 10/04/2015 22:36

You don't know the gender anyway, that will take at least a few more years.

So the sex is not what you expected. I can understand that you can be a bit disappointed, but I don't understand how you could be planning for a girl when you didn't know the sex?

Flutterby24 · 11/04/2015 08:02

I always wanted a boy. In all my daydreams I had a boy. I found out at my scan that we're expecting a girl. I had a fleeting moment of disappointment but now I am really excited and have completely bonded with her (in the womb, 31 weeks). She is a little life and I love to feel her kick . OP I can understand your feelings but I'm sure they will pass. As pp have said there's no guarantee either way

MorgansMummy24 · 11/04/2015 10:17

One word... UNGRATEFUL

GlitzAndGigglesx · 11/04/2015 10:24

Disappointment I understand but the planning is bonkers. You're not gonna love this baby any less because he's a boy

hobNong · 11/04/2015 11:40

What plans can you make for a baby that are dependant upon its genitals?

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