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How unhelpful is that?

9 replies

12yeargap · 29/10/2006 13:31

Went for a drink the other night with work colleagues, took DP, and one of my colleagues had his wife along who's a midwife. Any way, DP says he's nipping out for a smoke - and the midwife, with a big smug grin, says "oooh, I can't believe he smokes! His sperm will have been so damaged!" and proceeds to tell us how at risk my bump is of birth defects, because of all the mutations DP's sperm has accumulated. I don't get it, she knows I'm 23 weeks pg, she knows there's nothing we can do about it if this is the case, she's a bloody midwife FGS, so she should know better than to bring up scare stories for the sake of it, and she just looked so thrilled and triumphant to be telling us this! DP is now completely traumatised and expecting two headed, cloven hoofed baby. Poor thing, he tries and tries to stop, and he doesn't smoke in the house or near me. Just wanted to slap this silly cow.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
edam · 29/10/2006 13:56

You hold her down, I'll slap her for you. Can't stand smug interfering people like this. Is it any of her damn business? No. Did you ask for her advice? No. Was her advice helpful? No. Daft bat. Some people just enjoy going around imposing their thoughts on everyone else. Presumably they are so darn thick they need to feel they are better than everyone else, instead of facing up to their own inadequacies.

lulumama · 29/10/2006 13:58

is she a practicing midwife?

what an extraordinarily insenstive thing to say to a pregnant woman....

i take it you have had your scan and all is well?

louii · 29/10/2006 14:27

Just be glad she is not your actual midwife, just think how much fun that would be!

Lou

munz · 29/10/2006 14:33

what a cowanne - u can tyell your DP from me - jsut a joebloggs mum, my DH soked the whole time thru my PG - not in the hosue, but if we were in the car etc he would around me - hell, I even went out to the pubs and our boy is perfectly formed thank you v much. stup[id silly M/W!

edam - shall we form a q to start slaps! lol.

munz · 29/10/2006 14:34

smoked even - god my typings bad today! lol.

Katy44 · 29/10/2006 15:18

can't believe this woman is a midwife.
Surely this is a serious breach of ethics? not to mentio she doesn't know what she's talking about. I'm anti-smoking completely but know that plenty of women smoke through pregnancies and have healthy babies, and it's your DP who smokes in this case!!! If she wanted to help she could have mentioned some support services for if your dp wanted to quit - preferably in a quiet, 1-1 conversation.
I'd be tempted to take this further (but then I'm vindictive), are you considering it?
BTW, did she drink on this night out? Hope you lectured her on the evils of booze!

3andnomore · 29/10/2006 15:43

What an insensitive woman!
Saying that though, as a response to Katy 44's message...I don't think the woman was hinting at how the smoke would harm teh Baby, more what possible impact smoking may have on the sperm...saying that, I always thought it was more about the impact it has on spermproduction and spermactivity, etc... (can give issues wtih male fertility), and obviously seein ghtat the op is succesfully pg...that doesn't seem a problem!

xena · 29/10/2006 15:52

flippin cheek

Katy44 · 29/10/2006 15:55

3andmore, yes, that could be true, I didn't realise that.
It occurred to me though, if this is what she's saying to casual acquaintances, what advice is she giving her patients? Specifically the 15 yo smokers?!

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