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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Childbirth. Is. Gross.

79 replies

Skeppers · 25/02/2015 12:35

I watched a documentary which was on BBC1 last night about 4 mothers and their birthing choices; the midwife has been nagging me about putting together a 'birthing plan' (what? JUST GIVE ME DRUGS AND GET IT OUT OF ME.) so thought I'd get some different perspectives on it to enable me to make an 'informed' decision.

I should have known that they would show the ACTUAL births. I don't know why I thought for a second that they wouldn't. Actual boak. I've successfully dodged 'One Born Every Minute' type shows my entire life. One woman was in the birthing pool whilst someone was cooing at her "It's beautiful...so beautiful...gorgeous"

WHAT. THE. F*CK?

I have a new respect for midwives.

It wasn't beautiful. It was gross and slimy and gross. And the placenta was just another matter altogether. I'm just glad that I won't be down the business end when it all kicks off and don't have to look at it!

I totally get that the whole bringing of a new life into the world in itself is a marvel and hooray for us women and aren't we powerful and glorious...but the actual, visceral process of childbirth itself?

Ick.

Please tell me I'm not insane.

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MrsCosmopilite · 25/02/2015 13:32

I didn't watch anything about birth when I was pregnant. My birth plan was along the lines of:

I want to try to give birth naturally. I will use a TENS machine and some gas and air. I would like to use the birthing pool.
If this is not successful, I will not refuse medical intervention and/or any pain relief
I will have a CS if it is deemed necessary.

We used all the options, including induced labour, lots of poking and prodding and finally an EMCS.

MrsCosmopilite · 25/02/2015 13:33

None of it was glamourous, gorgeous or particularly enjoyable. My DD was though.

Branleuse · 25/02/2015 13:45

its a bit shocking. I remember seeing a birth video at an antenatal class when i was pg with dc1, and it completely freaking me out. I was not expecting it to look so gross.

Ive had 3 now, and i dont think its gross, i think its amazing and beautiful, but if you dont know what to expect, its frightening

weeblueberry · 25/02/2015 13:47

For those of you who aren't looking to find out as much as possible about birth, aren't you worried you're going to be asked about going ahead with something and not knowing what the consequences might be though?

I don't mean that to sound judgy (apologies if it does!). I just know when I go into a situation where I have an element of control I'd want to know about various outcomes so I can make an informed decision. Are you happy to leave it to the midwife/consultants?

It's probably the control freak in me but I really wanted to know as many possible outcomes as I could before I went in so if they offered something I'd know what the results/outcome might be (ie c sections, pain relief etc)

TheKitchenWitch · 25/02/2015 13:52

That is exactly how I feel about it; add the fact that it is (usually) incredibly painful, and I think the reason I'm having another ELC is clear...

applecore0317 · 25/02/2015 13:54

watches it now, the only bits that made me squeamish was the eating of the placenta and keeping it attached to the baby until it naturally detaches itself.

Each to their own but definitely not for me

gatewalker · 25/02/2015 14:00

I find it interesting that so many women are so separated from the realities of their bodies - as beautiful as they are - that childbirth can be called "gross" and "disgusting". The longer and more frequently we hold this amount of collective shame and revulsion, the higher the number of invasive procedures will become, and the more we will struggle to see ourselves as fully sexual afterwards.

My tuppence.

BeatriceBumble · 25/02/2015 14:04

I don't think that being too informed and prepared for childbirth really helps. During the birth of my first DS, the MW and doctors gave me the impression that I was in charge (my body etc) but really I was coerced and bullied into doing whatever they wanted.

Boosiehs · 25/02/2015 14:05

After induction, episiotomy, foreceps, shoulder dystocia, losing 1.5 litres of blood.... no - you are entirely right. It was like a fucking war zone.

If I ever have another child (and this is not very likely for other reasons) i am DEFINITELY having an elective CS.

Original poster

Skeppers · 25/02/2015 14:09

gatewalker I've never seen myself as 'fully sexual'. Or even 'vaguely sexual'. The fact that I managed to get knocked up in the first place was a minor miracle!

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yomellamoHelly · 25/02/2015 14:10

Not watched the programme, but agree with you. With my first the mw asked if I'd like to feel my son's head as it was just crowning. Still think yuk! 11 years later. (I declined the generous offer as did dh!)

Original poster

Skeppers · 25/02/2015 14:11

...but it is an interesting feminist perspective. I think though that I'd find it equally gross if a man was giving birth from his privates (in fact, possibly more so, now have a mental image of a tennis ball being squeezed down a sausage skin) with blood and seepage everywhere, so not sure if my feelings are necessarily influenced by sex identity/cultural stuff...

OP posts:

seaoflove · 25/02/2015 14:26

*I find it interesting that so many women are so separated from the realities of their bodies - as beautiful as they are - that childbirth can be called "gross" and "disgusting". The longer and more frequently we hold this amount of collective shame and revulsion, the higher the number of invasive procedures will become, and the more we will struggle to see ourselves as fully sexual afterwards.

My tuppence.*

I don't follow.

Disgust is innate. We are programmed to be disgusted by, say, faeces and urine on a primal level for self preservation. I think it's a bit of a leap to interpret a revulsion to the involuntary expulsion of offensive bodily fluids as "collective shame and revulsion". This isn't the sisterhood doing itself a disservice, it's just a natural reaction to a loss of bodily control and of dignity and privacy.

I also don't understand how a sense of revulsion leads to invasive procedures? I can assure you I wasn't uptight when I was shitting myself in the birthing pool. I was much too far gone for any of that

geekymommy · 25/02/2015 14:53

Childbirth is messy and bloody. We as a culture are averse to blood. That actually makes a fair bit of sense- blood can transmit disease (ask anyone who studies diseases like AIDS, hepatitis, or Ebola).

WaitingForMe · 25/02/2015 15:03

It was horrific. That isn't me being negative about myself. My body is amazing. It not only survived birth but I was up and about in hours, felt mostly normal within days and was fully healed within weeks. It went on to not only feed my son but provide all the care he needed AND I returned to being fully sexual.

Frankly, the horrors of childbirth make me wonder at my body and when I reflect on them I realise how daft it is to worry about the extra pounds, drooping boobs and stretch marks because I'm a fucking warrior!

Number3cometome · 25/02/2015 15:09

WaitingForMe - Frankly, the horrors of childbirth make me wonder at my body and when I reflect on them I realise how daft it is to worry about the extra pounds, drooping boobs and stretch marks because I'm a fucking warrior!

High fucking five!

ajandjjmum · 25/02/2015 15:14

I remember the midwife asking DH if he wanted to cut the cord - we looked at each other, thinking 'whatever for'!

Wouldn't swap my DC for the world, but would have loved delivery by stork.

rosedavo · 25/02/2015 18:05

Yeh pretty gross... but better get your head round it because it will be happening to you too!

rosedavo · 25/02/2015 18:11

Saying that, my husbands a paramedic and has delivered his fair share of babies so i dont think he will be phased at all by the grossness!

MrsCampbellBlack · 25/02/2015 18:16

Delivery by stork would be wonderful

I reckon you could pitch that on Dragon's Den

BalloonSlayer · 25/02/2015 18:27

Victoria Wood said about childbirth something like: "They hold up a mirror to show you the baby's head, and what are you supposed to say? It was like at the hairdressers when they hold the mirror up so you can see the back of your hair. So I ended up politely saying 'Um it's lovely thank you' like you do at the hairdressers, while thinking God it looks awful but it'll probably be OK once I've got home and put a bit of water on it. "

Sparrowlegs248 · 25/02/2015 18:43

Oh god. So glad I didn't see that!! I read a bit of the labour section in the book i bought (because I am clueless and that was bad enough! I really want the stork to deliver! Does everyone poo?

WhereIsMyFurryHat · 25/02/2015 18:56

I actually find childbirth preferable to how if felt after each of my births. Sore, bloody, scared to use the loo in case my organs fall out. Honestly, I hate the way I feel the week after giving birth. The labours have all been short lived in comparison.

laurenamium · 25/02/2015 20:03

What was the programme called please? I missed it but would like to watch!

weeblueberry · 25/02/2015 20:10

Childbirth: All or Nothing :)

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