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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Did you find out the gender of your 2nd baby?

62 replies

Treesandbees · 24/02/2015 22:03

We didn't with the first but tempted with no 2 (more for practical reasons eg clearing the loft of all the millions of boys clothes!). Just wondered if you did and were you pleased you found out?

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FenellaFellorick · 25/02/2015 08:50

Yes, I found out with both (both boys) and yes I was thrilled.

Some people like to wait. Not me. I like to know. It made it feel more real and exciting for me. I know that sounds odd.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 25/02/2015 08:52

Sex not gender.
Anyway.

Whatabout · 25/02/2015 08:53

Did with first and they were wrong. Planning to again this time too. It's more to do with the two years worth of boys clothes I will pass on or keep rather than newborn/bedding/toys as they will be used.

HazleNutt · 25/02/2015 08:59

I have a DS and expecting DD, but I can't think of any of his clothes I would need to get rid of, because I would not put on a girl. I'm sure she'll be perfectly fine even if some of the clothes are blue, or have cars on them. Am I missing something?

SillyBub · 25/02/2015 09:03

I didn't find out with with either (DS and Dad) and wouldn't with any subsequent ones I'm not having

NanoNinja · 25/02/2015 09:07

Did with the first because I was convinced it was a girl and thought it best to be prepared that could be otherwise (it was a boy!). Didn't with the second because I wanted to have a surprise at least once. I got the girl second time around.

Whatabout · 25/02/2015 09:10

I'm obviously a bad person as some of my son's clothes are very male biased "little man" jumper for one. It's personal choice if you don't feel you want to put a boy in something or a girl in something. Do we have to over politicise it?

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 25/02/2015 09:15

No, didn't want to. It's a bit strange because generally I'm not one for surprises at all, but with something like this where it's totally out of your control anyway I'd rather wait and have the surprise at the end, having been very happy with the decision not to find out with DC1 it would have seemed weird to find out with DC2. If I were to have another I wouldn't want to find out either.

I'm another one who can't see what difference it would have made on the organisation front in the first few weeks, we didn't have names chosen either, just some ideas of ones we liked. We kept some of DC1's baby clothes but he was such a pukey baby that most of the first year ones were trashed.

freelancegirl · 25/02/2015 09:17

You don't have to find out at the scan. With dc1 we didn't find out but were tempted with dc2. we asked the sonographer to write it down in a sealed envelope so we could open it when we wanted. We didn't open it in the end but the option was there.

HicDraconis · 25/02/2015 09:18

I did with both of mine and was very glad - DH was convinced DS1 was going to be a girl (as was most of his family) and it gave him a day or so to be disappointed, get over it and start looking forward to his son's arrival. Had he found out at the birth it would have been more difficult to deal with.

It was the other way round with DS2 - I was convinced I'd have a daughter (because I'd already had a son) and was glad of the time to get over my own disappointment. Especially as we'd always said 2 only - so I was desperately sad that I would never have a daughter. It took me a while. By the time I went into labour I was thrilled to be having my second son though.

OneFlewOverTheMumsNest · 25/02/2015 09:19

We didn't first time round but this time we have. The main reason was because our almost 3yo DD is all about whether things are girls or boys at the mo. She has a really lovely bond with the bump and is always talking about her sister. Knowing has really helped her I think. Also I love knowing. The first time round I felt it finding out after the birth would be this really special moment and for me it just wasn't. After a gruelling delivery I was just pleased she was out!

Number3cometome · 25/02/2015 09:42

DS1 - found out at 12 weeks, wanted to know, glad I did.
DD1 - found out at 12 weeks, wanted to know, glad I did again!
DS2 - currently 19 weeks, wasn't too sure about finding out, ummed and erred about it, then paid for a private scan. OH wanted to know, so glad I did find out now!

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 25/02/2015 09:47

Do we have to over politicise it?

We don't have to politicise it at all, but possibly we should.

Showy · 25/02/2015 09:54

I did. Not because of clothes. DS wore his big sister's stuff anyway. Pink and everything. Still does, aged 3. Mostly it was because dd was 4 and adjusting to the idea of a sibling and desperate for a sister. We knew it was easier to prepare her for a brother than present one to her when things were very new. We also wanted to know because the sex doesn't matter. To me it was no different to knowing his profile or leg length. Just an interesting biological fact.

Number3cometome · 25/02/2015 10:09

I really don't get why there is always such an issue when people find out the 'SEX' of their baby.

You see I went for a 'gender scan' a few weeks back, that's what it's called, if you don't believe me, check the BabyBond website.

I don't call it a Gender scan because I know that the correct term is in fact 'Sex'.

I don't see why people feel the need to harp on about this - contact the companies and put them right first, they are the ones who advertise it and inadvertently incorrectly educate ladies on the term Gender.

I personally do not dress my boys in pink, or anything that I deem to be girly (flowers / bows etc)

I also wouldn't dress my newborn daughter in anything with cars or footy or planes on it (she's 7 now and loves footy BTW)

Mainly because at a young age everyone looked at my very 'pretty' son and thought he was a girl (to which I got fed up of correcting people) and that my daughter was a boy.

There is no harm in dressing your child in what is deemed to be gender specific (ie pink for girls, blue for boys)

Don't mean you have to do it all the time, but it also doesn't have to be an issue?

I have no idea why the conversation comes up every time in these posts!

Who cares what you dress your child in! no one here is even going to know how you are in 'real life'

Rant over!

Littlefrenchmummy · 25/02/2015 10:19

We didn't.. We wanted the lovely surprise again. It was a second boy but since we hadn't found out the first time all our new born stuff was cream. Having said that we are having a n3 some day and I think ill want to find out just to see both aspects ! All the best x

WinterBabyof89 · 25/02/2015 10:31

Yes & I'm pleased we did. We had unexpected complications In labour and sadly she lived for only a few days on life support, so for those 24 weeks that I knew (found out at 17 weeks & went a week overdue) I got the joys of having a daughter, buying girly things, choosing one name instead of two..
I also had the joy of the gender scan and got to feel the excitement of finding out her sex..something I never would have experienced if I had waited to find out at the birth because it would have been eclipsed by severe complications which ultimately took her life. I had some joy early on which I'm grateful for.

Will be finding out the sex of this baby too (early days pregnant) because it's the right choice for our family..

TarkaTheOtter · 25/02/2015 10:38

We didn't find out with either. Only consequence second time round was that I put a bag of overtly girly stuff back in the loft when ds was born. We had loads of neutral stuff anyway and got given plenty of more traditionally boy stuff when he was born. It wasn't a big deal.

Number3cometome · 25/02/2015 10:55

Winterbaby - so so sorry for your loss and fx for this baby

WinterBabyof89 · 25/02/2015 11:02

number thank you

I was part of a 0.2% statistic so my scenario won't be applicable to many pregnant women thankfully - I don't want to spread fear! (something I forgot to say!)

Number3cometome · 25/02/2015 11:05

Winter of course not, but I absolutely have been moved by your post above and I really hope things work out for you this time.

I think you are an amazing lady x

WinterBabyof89 · 25/02/2015 11:12

Thank you..That's very kind of you to say...

I hope all goes well too.. Eeek!

cosmicglittergirl · 25/02/2015 11:15

Found out both times, no patience!

Why is it sex and not gender?

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 25/02/2015 11:47

Sex is the biological difference between males and females. Gender refers to the identity that we develop as we grow up that means 'man' or 'woman'. It's not an innate set of characteristics that exists in a newborn baby the way that sex characteristics are.

cosmicglittergirl · 25/02/2015 12:47

Ah I see. Thanks. It's confusing as people do usually say 'What's your baby's gender?'

This is the second thing I've learnt on MN today!

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