Breastfeeding in front of others...

[Ilovemyboy]

Hi girls

I am due my first baby in the next few weeks and will be breastfeeding.

I wanted to ask those of you who have done this before, how comfortable were you breastfeeding in front of others? Specifically male family members, your DP's pals and the ILs?

I think if I went round to their houses, I would probably excuse myself and sit in another room and do it. If they came round to mine though I don't think I should have to. I would feel uncomfortable with people having a good old gander at my huge lactating boobies though...esp mates of DP's and the ILs (who I don't get on with).

What did you guys do?

Hope you all had a lovely weekend.

oooh, one more thing. after you have given birth you might find you are more used to groups of total strangers looking at previously private areas of your body i find, post birth, i am much happier and more comfortable with my body. i know how clever and useful it is now.

Please, please don't be put off BF in public because of what you think people will say/do/feel!

A recent NCT survery showed that around 90% (don't have figures to hand) of people thought that women should feel free to breastfeed in public. The more people who feed in public, the more other women will see it and realise people do it - and try it themselves - AND therefore increase BF rates, and the length of time women BF.

I would also urge anyone to get in touch with their local NCT group to get breastfeeding support and information. The NCT is also trying to get local branches to put together a local "baby and breastfeeding places" pack called "You CAN do it here" (ie BF) - so your local branch may be involved in that if you're interested.

Go to www.nct.org.uk for more info.

I never thought I'd breastfeed in public ever. However desperation to get out and about again, and the need to stop M screaming soon overcame the embarrasment. You can do it discreetly so as people don't notice. I try to find quiet corners and sit with my back to people and put a blanket over my shoulder. You can also use the pram to block views too.

My worst experience of an embarressed onlooker was actually one of my partner's female friends. We were visiting her house. She did not want to come out and say she did not want me to BF so I went ahead, but she was so visibly squirming and looked mortified that I could not bring myself to finish (and left earlier than otherwise). I felt far more embarressed by that than I ever did in public.

I would never have dreamt of getting my boobs out anywhere before ds was born, now they are his lunch so they come out where and whenever he needs them.... the furniture dept in Heals (the store manager came and offered me a glass of water!), the optician (mid-eye test!) and various tube platforms!

People sometimes look surprised to see you feeding your baby so openly. You will soon master the art of keeping the boob hidden by Jnr's head and your clothes/pashmina, so people don't even realise. I have found that mostly people smile and get that fuzzy 'ah its a baby' face!

The funny reaction I've encountered was when we went to Hungary where my husband is from and I asked various friends and relatives if people feed their babies in public. I was horrified to be told that only 'Gypsy women' feed their babies in public! Despite this comment I fed ds everywhere and other than a few older chaps trying to excuse themselves there was no problem at all. So good for the 'Gypsy women'!

I made sure I had got the hang of feeding before I ventured into the company of others as it makes it easier for everyone.

I wish you lots of luck and hope that you enjoy feeding your baby as much as I have.

Well I just stare back at them. Nowadays you won't stay indoor all day because you re b'feeding. So if you are out and you baby cries you ll feed him/her no matter what.
Some old ladies some time say "good on you".
The main thing is to dress appropriately. I like to wear a cardi with a vest so it hides the side and cover any bits with a muslin square if needed.
Just try not to drop your breast pads in the action!

I had a few problems getting established and we live quite far from relatives so not too many regular visitors to begin with and could learn in relative peace.

Once established bf in front of everyone except fil and dh's friends (always felt wierd around fil and dh did not want me 'getting them out in front of his friends').

Also had so many midwives & HV squashing and squeezing my boobs to begin with you don't feel consious (sp?) about getting on with it.

3 times have really stood out for me though. 1st was in tesco's and a poor baby was screeming all the way round the store so as i passed the mum I said hows it going, good set of lungs etc and she said she needed feeding, I said I usually sit in the corner and feed ds but she said her lo was bottle fed and she did not bring it with her. I felt so sorry for that baby which made me more determined to feed out and about.

2nd was when dh ran london marathon. I bf ds on train to london and at the side of the road waiting for dh to run past. never fed with so many people around but no one said anything or even noticed.

3rd was when dh was in hospital and I was visiting him with ds
p now 13 months but 10 months at the time. He was on an all male ward but bf on the chair next to the bed, could have pulled the curtain round but did not think to. Got a couple of funny looks but no comments.

sorry have gone on a bit I think. What I was getting at was as long as YOU feel comfortable just do it. your lo needs his food!!!!

Oh also bf in car to begin with until I feld more confident but put a muslin square at each window in the back and you can wip them out and no one will see, great!!!

Good luck and power to the bfing!!!!!

I think that you will find it easier than you think - muslim squares are great for discrete breastfeeding - winter is good because it means lots of baggy jumpers, although can get chilly when you're BF in the park!! I dreaded BF in front of my father etc but it was actually fine (have done it twice). Only time I hid away was for elderly Methodist friends of DPs family./ In my experience, especially at the beginning you have your boob out so often it becomes almost a natural state - so much so that once
after BF my first in a carpark, I forgot to cover myself up when I got out the car and had the buggy unfolded and the baby in it before a strange glance from a fellow (male) motorist alerted me to the fact that someting was awry!

My tip would be don't have too many visitors in first two weeks as you may still be getting confident with feeding and may prefer not to have to practice positioning with others on the sofa with you.

bfeeding gets quicker and easier all the time so before you know it you are feeding in a cafe between ordering a coffee and it arriving!

just wanted to echo what someone else said: wear 2 layers, one that you can pull up and one that you can pull down. Then you only need to expose the nipple (not acres of boob) and quickly latch baby on, and you're all set. I used to always wear a black vest under whatever top I was wearing so I didn't have to expose my jelly belly.

A pashmina or whatever can cover everything up even more although I was a bit rubbish at getting it draped over my shoulder in the right way.

My dad & brother used to get embarrassed and take the opportunity to take the rubbish out or whatever. I would never take myself off to a quiet room - ds used to feed for probably 30 to 45 mins at a time which is a long time to be sitting on your own. It's a good opportunity to relax and have an uninterrupted chat.

Once you get started you'll be stuck there until they've finished so make sure you are comfy!

Enjoy it!

Indiemum xxx

I am happy to say that even though I bf all 3 of mine for almost a yr each, NOT ONCE did I have even a nasty look from anybody - in fact with my third I was almost disappointed by the fact that I'd never had to stand up and be counted (so to speak!) I remembered what my sister had said about it - don't flaunt it but don't try to hide it either..sensible advice I think. I miss it now and make a point of smiling at all bf mums I see.