MIL meeting new baby and DM (long!)

[CaleyThistle]

I'm due to give birth over the next few weeks and I'm starting to get stressed about visitors - especially my partner's mother.
My own mum lives 9 hours away so will be staying with us for around a week once baby arrives. She's a retired nurse so will also be helping me / baby out with breastfeeding in that time.
My MIL lives an hour away. She doesn't drive but she's arranged with a friend to give her a lift to see baby. She won't stay over because she doesn't much like our house. Apparently the stairs are too steep and the kitchen isn't bright enough.
Fair enough, entitled to her opinion, (I'm still a bit grrr about her comments) but she announced today that she intends to travel back and forward over several days to spend time with baby, and to get to know my mum. We are not married, so they've never met and I see no reason why they particularly need to.
I really just want to limit visitors, especially in the first week, while DP and I get to know our new arrival.
Can I try and ask her not to visit until my DM has gone home, and we're slightly more settled into being new parents or do I just have to facilitate her visiting whenever she wants / can get a lift?
We are starting an extension to our kitchen in May, so I'll be moving in with her for at least 2 weeks when that's going on so it's not like I'm withholding baby from her, I just want to slob about my own home in my tatty pjs with leaky boobs, and unwashed hair and head off to try and sleep whenever I can without having to facilitate chit-chat between her and my mum!!

Hope you're ok. It doesn't matter what any of us think, just focus on yourself, don't stress ourself out about this, stop trying to please everyone else and put you and your baby first.

You are NOT being unreasonable. She is your mom, you are the one who gave birth. Fairness? Oh my god, like we're talking about two little sisters getting equal value presents and not two grown women! They can deal with it!

I also think she might be trying to be polite when she insults your house - she wants to be there 24/7 but she also doesn't want to be overbearing. If you think you could deal with her there with your mum and partner to help, try telling her now: ring me in the morning and if it's not a shitty day of course come around. Because you might feel up to it! It is a pain that she couldn't easily be asked to leave halfway through the day if you get fed up because she doesn't have her own transport - again I think that's part of why she wants to come up each day and hasn't asked to stay. It's all very clumsy and honesty will help. It will be nice for both grandmas to get along too

I'm not anti-MIL in the slightest (I prefer my MIL to my own mom by a mile) and it's so pathetic that everyone on here starts bleating about poor imaginary women who only have sons and no-one loves them and blah blah blah. You don't lose rights when you become a mother. No-one has a right to impose themselves on someone who's just got out of hospital!! That should go without saying