What is the oddest thing dp/dh has said about your pregnancy?

[beansprout]

DP (who is completely lovely in every other way), when asked the other day, guessed that the average pregnancy lasts, um 90 weeks?

No, I replied, you getting confused with elephants....

Any other equally informed partners?!!

'It's a bit embarrassing with everyone asking all these questions; can't we keep the whole thing quiet and private between us?'

!?!?!?!?!?????

DP had no idea that milk was produced by both breasts!!

He also had no idea that you could see a baby move from outside the womb!!!!!

God - do you realise just how huge your breasts are!! - oh that was him smiling and winking in a kinda pervy way!!

Not my DP exactly, but his father asked DP if my father was really angry with me for getting pregnant . . .

DP answered that he thought my Dad wasn't fussed seeing as I am thirty years old and old enough to do what I like!

rather quaintly my dh thought I had a craving for All Bran... as if such a thing were possible... because I was so insistent that a stock be kept in the house. I was quite sorry to have to tell him the reality was so much more base.

mine asked if the baby poos in my stomach!!

I keep encouraging DH to feel my tummy to see how big my uterus is getting. Bearing in my he's a doctor:

'I thought it would be like looking for a vague cancerous lump, but it's very obvious'

When I told DH I could see the baby moving now, he thought I could see as in all his features, rather like my tummy suddenly became opaque... DS2 looks like his dad, lets hope he doesn't get his brains

Not dh, but dh's daughter (aged 22) when we told her over the phone that I was pregnant, after IVF - "Is the baby inside you?"

When I told DP I was pregnant (after the first month of trying) he looked shocked and said "but I thought it took at least 6 months!"

Not my DH but my boss, a bloke, asked me what the best thing about being pregnant was. A female colleague said it must be not having periods. My boss was gobsmacked. The sad and worrying thing is, he's a nurse!

a friend (not my hubbie) said I was lucky to have a premature baby (!!???!!) because at least I wasn't pregnant for the full 9 months.

i had complications at 32 weeks with ds2, while in the hospital the consultant was explaining that i would have to have steroid injections to help develop the babys lungs in case he had to be born early, as she explained this dp started to look really flustered and worried, when she left the room he said " does that mean that if he isnt born early and they have made his lungs develop anyway, will he be born with a massive chest and ribcage"?!
i was too tired to explain, he must of thought that the baby would come out looking like a pigeon.

dh informed all and sundry after our first ever ultrasound with ds (now aged 5) that the baby on-screen looked like a trilobyte (extremely unattractive and primitive fossilised creature). Resisted temptation to snap back that it clearly took after his family, then.

Mine, when I asked him if I was putting on weight looked at me and said "well, your bottom has got a bit bigger but if it didn't, you would fall over..."

Not so much stupid as embarrasing. Darling was chatting to other hubbies at the other end of the room at a dinner party one night. We thought they were engrossed (men only being able to concentrate on one thing at a time as we know) A girl friend asked me if my boobs had grown, darling yells from the other end of the room, 'boobs? no, nipples? Like bloody dinner plates!'........silence.............

My elder brother said I must be releaved it wasn't twins as twins would really hurt coming out. Right, whereas a single birth would be a picnic? Hmmm.

Dh asked the m/w what would happen if I slept through the first 8 hours of labour and woke up 8cm dilated. How she kept a straight face I'll never know, I just sat there thinking 'what?'

Snowbird-that actually happened to me.With a first baby,believe it or not.

Woke up on due date,noticed I'd had a show & almost straight away was having contractions every three minutes.By the time I got to hospital I was 10cm dilated & ready to push.Never even got my bag unpacked.Total length of labour was 4 hours 6mins (would have been less if I'd got my act together & pushed properly).Dh didn't even ring family to tell them we were on our way to hospital,so sure was he that we'd be sent home again as the midwife had told him a 1st labour averages 12 hours or more.He still can't believe that I slept through the first stage of labour.

If I have anymore babies,I'm camping out in the hospital carpark a week before my due date.

In retrospect,the oddest thing dh has said to me must have been 'Theres no point going to hospital yet,we'll only be sent home again'.

My dh was completely flabbergasted that the baby wasn't breathing inside me. He said "bodies need oxygen how does she breathe?". When I explained that she got oxygen through the placenta and umbilical cord he said "but she can't breathe through a cord in her tummy button" and got very worried.

Perhaps he expected an oxygen mask on the end of the umbilical cord, or maybe that the baby would breathe through my (ahem) "opening". (which could have made a really good party trick in retrospect).

Worrying thing is that he's a clever man, he was just blinded with worry for his baby at the time and not thinking straight.

Not my dh but ds1 aged five. He asked if the doctor had to push down on my head to get the baby out. I then had a dream that night of doctors taking it in turns to jump up and down on my head and the baby slowing coming out. I didn't thank him for that image.