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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

BFP after IVF anyone scared as I am?

83 replies

whittlefish · 21/12/2014 15:10

Recently got a BFP after first IVF and am so happy but was so prepared for failure I'm now a bit scared to get excited thinking something will go wrong. Anyone else going through the same?

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Kannet · 27/12/2014 20:14

I'm so scared. I'm pregnant after Ivf. 5 weeks. Just started to bleed. Just like af. I'm
Hoping to god it's just the progesterone as it seems to start after I put those in. Really hoping I can get a scan on Monday.

Pipbin · 27/12/2014 22:11

Thinking of you Kannet
Is it worth contacting your local EPU? They should give you a scan straight away.

whittlefish · 28/12/2014 09:42

Hi kannet phone your clinic ASAP if there is anything you are worried about that's what ty are there for. I'm sure it's nothing but best to be sure. Fx for you

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Twinklestar2 · 28/12/2014 13:44

Pip!!!!! SOOOOO pleased for you! Congratulations my lovely, it's been a long time coming.

I came on this thread to say my son is 20 weeks today after having IVF and I'm STILL worried something's going to happen to him! It never ends!

Pipbin · 28/12/2014 14:37

Twink! 20 weeks already. Gosh that's gone quickly.

Kannet · 28/12/2014 22:01

Phew managed to get a scan. All is well horrible 24 hours though. I really thought all was over

Pipbin · 28/12/2014 22:52

Good news Kannet.
It must be wonderfully reassuring to see that scan.

whittlefish · 29/12/2014 08:47

So pleased for you kannet must have been a really scary time

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whittlefish · 29/12/2014 10:55

Just had my first midwife appointment which was very weird and surreal. She mentioned about the screenig for downs. Has anyone had this?

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Rumplestrumpet · 29/12/2014 11:07

Hello all! Lovely to see so many of us all in the same boat. Though, logically speaking, others being nervous shouldn't have any effect on me, there is always something reassuring about knowing you're not the only one.

Kannet so glad all is well - it must have been terrifying.

Well we had the scare of a lifetime yesterday, all ready to celebrate 12 weeks today and looking forward to our scan tomorrow, but last night in the midst of a little, er, "passion" Wink, I suddenly started bleeding, a lot. It was full-on red blood and both DH and I were frozen in fear. Called the hospital and they told us to come in this morning. We just lay cuddled up for ages, praying to God that we wouldn't lose the baby.

Went in to the drop-in clinique this morning, so tense and trying to prepare ourselves for the worst, and then, there on the screen was our perfect little baby - wrigging, kicking around, with a strong heartbeat. We both just burst into tears at the relief of it! The doctor told us that everything was perfectly fine, that a miscarriage at this stage was very very unlikely, and there was nothing to worry about. Apparently the fact that the bleeding happened during sex was "reassuring" (not at the time!) as it meant it was probably nothing to do with the uterus. Anyway, DH has sworn off sex "for at least the next 7 months", and we are just so very grateful that all is well.

As someone said earlier in the thread, the worry just never goes away. We keep saying "once we get to 8 weeks/12 weeks/20 weeks I'll be ok", but in reality I know I won't relax until the baby is in my arms. And then, it's just a whole new kind of fear and worry that appears. I know my mum is really worried about me being pregnant and overseas away from her, and I'm in my 30s! So I think we're in for a lifetime of this ladies, let's settle in and make ourselves comfortable on the worry train!

Rumplestrumpet · 29/12/2014 11:12

We cross-posted Whittle - we're due to have the Downs screening tomorrow. We did a blood test last week (usually 5 days before the scan I think) and tomorrow they will scan, and then combine the blood test and scan results to give us an estimated likelihood of Downs (ie. 1 in 1000, 1 in 500, etc).

To be honest, we weren't even going to bother with it - if there is a "high" risk (ie anything over 1 in 100 I think) they recommend further tests, such as the amniocentesis, but we won't do this, as it carries a risk of provoking a miscarriage. In any case, even if they told us there was a 90% chance of Downs it wouldn't make us do anything differently, and we'd still continue the pregnancy as normal. But that's a personal choice, and I know everyone feels differently about it.

Is there anything you're unsure of or worried about? How was the midwife apt "surreal?" I haven't even seen mine yet!

whittlefish · 29/12/2014 12:44

I don't think anything specific just another thing to worry about although the chances are very small anyway apparently. She also said as my dad has diabetes I will have to be tested for pregnancy diabetes which doesn't sound fun but that's way down the line at 28 weeks so not worrying yet. I think it was surreal rumples as it's the first pregnancy thing I've done since getting BFP. My early scan is Friday so still doesn't feel real. I feel like I should feel pregnant and apart for tiredness and sore boobs I don't feel much different. Just feel like it happening to someone else. If that makes sense, hopefully once we see that heartbeat (fx) it will seem a bit more real. Have booked in for a flu jab tomorrow too- such fun

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Rumplestrumpet · 29/12/2014 13:12

I totally understand Whittle - the "like it's happening to someone else" really hits me when I'm talking to my mum - she's going on about "the baby" and for a split second I think "what baby?". It's so silly, but it just didn't feel real. The 8 week scan really helped (for a while!) but then the last few days I had the same feeling again. Seeing the little thing wriggle away inside me this morning was so nice, and it looked almost like a real baby this time (rather than the blob you see at 8 weeks!).

So I think this is normal. We just have to be patient. Enjoy the scan on Friday - great start to the new year !

whittlefish · 29/12/2014 14:18

Thanks rumples am trying to be patient but def not my strong point

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Rumplestrumpet · 30/12/2014 14:09

Nah, I'm not patient either. DH thinks it's hilarious. He actually suggested today we should not find out the baby's sex and wait until the baby is born - Shock I was astounded. Do you not KNOW me?! Do you seriously think I could wait another 6 months?! I was hounding the midwife at today's 12 week scan "are you sure you can't tell anything?".

So no, I'm not patient in any way. But I know we SHOULD be. So I'll keep reminding you, just to make me feel better Wink

whittlefish · 30/12/2014 14:27

Haha thanks rumples that's so funny I'm exactly the same DH said he could wait to find out but there is no way I can not know what the sex is. Must try and exercise patience must true harder lol Wink

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whittlefish · 02/01/2015 12:38

Just a quick update had my 7 week scan this morning all ok and a strong little heartbeat. So relieved all starting to feel a bit more real now having that little pic. Also got my 12 week scan date too so all getting more real and a little less scary

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Rumplestrumpet · 02/01/2015 16:39

Yay!! That's great news Whittle ! Isn't it fabulous to see the little heartbeat ? Chances of miscarriage now are so slim they're not even worth thinking about, so you can just relax and enjoy the ride! 12 week scan is even better as it actually looks like something resembling a human rather than a jelly bean!

Pipbin · 02/01/2015 16:43

You say that Rumple and you are right, but I'm still worrying after a good 8 week scan! No reason to worry, but I still am.

whittlefish · 02/01/2015 18:57

It was amazing to see and very strange to think that's inside me. I know what you mean pipbin I'm still nervous but just goin to try and be more excited about it now as have been worrying so much until now I haven't been able to enjoy the news. As rumples says the risk of miscarriage are now greatly reduced I know there is till chance but trying to stay positive if I can.

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joycep · 03/01/2015 00:20

It's good to see I'm not the only anxious one. I'm 18wks pregnant with twins after more than 4.5yrs TTC, 3rd ivf. I think the preciousness is just palpable. The fear of going back into those clinics and having more animalistic testing. I lost twins last year and had had a natural m/c when we first stRted trying so I am slightly haunted by those memories. I haven't been excited once which makes me sound ungrateful but I don't dare get attached. I can't envisage buying things for a baby and Ive found the more time goes on the more scared I get. A few close friends know and a few family members but we haven't told anyone else although I had to spill the beans to work a few weeks ago. I wish I could just enjoy it and not fear every pain and assume the worst. It also doesn't feel real as if this isn't me it's happening to as it all seemed so impossible.

Anyway congrats to everyone else. Good to see positive scans coming through. May all your anxieties get better!

whittlefish · 04/01/2015 11:22

I think it's really difficult to be positive joy especially when as you have have experienced the heartbreak of loss. It's so hard as you know if anything does happen it's not so easy to fall pregnant again. But I was talking to DH about it and e said something which really made sense and that is if anything should go wrong god forbid no punt of worrying now is going to make it any less painful so we should try and enjoy what we have right now. It made a lot of sense to me and although it's hard to do I don't want to loom back at my pregnancy not having enjoyed it as I'm so scared. I know it's so much easier said and done but trying a new mantra which is at the moment all is well and I'm going to enjoy it and IF something happens will deal with it then. Sounds easy haha I give myself 2 day max!

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Pipbin · 04/01/2015 11:35

That's exactly how we feel. If something goes wrong then, unless there is a miracle, there won't be another.
But we are happy how we are at the moment. We were so set on it never happening that we had learned to become happy with our lot.

NoCupcakesOrCocktails · 04/01/2015 15:16

Hi everyone, I'm so pleased ive found this thread. I'm 16+2 after my 3rd ivf, everything has gone fine so far. That said I'm driving myself mad stressing about something going wrong. I totally get it Whittle and Pipin as you say it's not just like we can get pregnant again! Your DH talks a lot of sense Whittle Smile

Pip massive congratulations on your BFP. I think we did our first ivf around the same time, I remember you from the egg buddies

FluffyNut · 04/01/2015 17:28

Hi, I hope you don't mind me joining (I recognise a few friendly faces) well I tested positive on 1st jan so still very early days. Still do not think this is happening, and like someone else said earlier, apart from mega painful boobs, I don't feel anything else.

Our first scan is 22nd Jan, maybe then I'll start believing. Someone asked y'day if we will find out the sex and all I can think of is lets just get a few weeks under my belt before I start shopping and designing nurseries.

So does anyone else not have morning sickness? All I am having is occasional waves (like car sick) but nothing more that before when I'd eaten too many sweets! Oh, and loose stools.... Not great.

Hope to hear other stories and maybe get some reassurance. Thanks

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