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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Lies in Pregnancy books

70 replies

glitterkitty · 12/10/2006 13:15

Whats your favorite? Mine is: 'In the 1st Trimester most women gain only 1-2lbs and look the same. Apart from bigger boobs.'

I gained 7lbs and sadly NONE of it has gone to my chest- so its all lies, I say... unfair!

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cupsnakes · 12/10/2006 13:18

My 'favourite' bit in Miriam Stoppard is where she advises the hugely pregnant woman to make a stack of meals and freeze them - to keep her husband fed whilst she was in hospital.
My, how I laughed over that.

southeastastralplain · 12/10/2006 13:20

not really a lie but i was looking up placenta previa (which i had) and the book said 'don't even go there'. what a help that was to me.

Anchovy · 12/10/2006 13:26

My favourite bit in the Miriam Stoppard book was where it said "it is possible to get maternity clothes which are stylish and comfortable" and there was a picture of a woman in a checked gingham pinafore dress....

Whoowhoobewhooooooh · 12/10/2006 13:33

Babycentre e-mail:

'You're 14 weeks pregnant! By now your morning sickness will probably have faded...'

Hah.

Original poster
glitterkitty · 12/10/2006 13:35

LMAO! Yes, the Stoppard one is good for that- our freezer drawrs are totally crusted in ice - I'd be lucky to make room for a ready meal among the ice cream supplies....

OP posts:
Pruhoohooohoooooni · 12/10/2006 13:37

Oh god yes Miriam Stoppard and the maternity underwear. Does anyone buy maternity knickers??

Didn't MS also have a bit about training your husband to make his own breakfast so he could do it when you went into hospital?

Whoowhoobewhooooooh · 12/10/2006 13:47

Any book which refers to the horrendous pain, indignity and suffering of pregnancy as 'niggles'.

(i.e. all of them).

It's my first. Can you tell?

taylormama · 12/10/2006 14:13

i read in one book that by the fifth month i should have a growing sense of calm about the pg - HA!!!!! I was running around try to find a nursery place, battling with commuting, hugely swollen ankles, and no sign of the pregnancy bloom i had been promised. I threw the book in the bin.

niceglasses · 12/10/2006 14:15

The ginger biscuits one is going to be one day revealed as a complete load of tosh, made up just for the sake of something to say to women when they complain, but randomly pulled out of the air and based on absolute shite.

tribpot · 12/10/2006 16:30

Miriam also says that there is no reason to eat chocolate when pregnant. WHAT?

Creena · 12/10/2006 16:36

I can't help but guffaw loudly when I read stuff like;

"When you are in labour and waiting to go to the hospital, prepare a delicious packed lunch for your husband and pop it into your hospital bag. After all, he will be at the hospital with you and will probably get quite peckish."

Riiiight.....

2Babies0Bumps · 12/10/2006 16:43

I also liked the bit in the miriam book that said about the 7th month:
You may not be able to get away with wearing your husbands/oversized clothes now and may need to purchase some maternity clothes'
i was wearing them from month 2!!

MrsTittleMouse · 12/10/2006 16:44

"In the first trimester your breasts will experience tingling as they grow". Ha! More like someone had lined my bra with sandpaper, it was agony!

From my US pregnancy book comes "wear tapered trousers to make yourself appear slimmer" and "use clips to form baggy clothes around your body". WTF? Who on Earth would go around with clips over their clothes? I just can't work out why medical experts would want to give fashion advice...

CurrantBun · 12/10/2006 16:46

I find Miriam Stoppard SO bloody santimonious. Her book suggests that as far as exercise in preganncy is concerned, 'jogging' (never mind running) was completely banned.

Pah. I've been running (not jogging!) five times a week all through my pregnancy so far and I'm nearly 21 weeks now. No ill effects whatsoever. So deep fry that, Miriam!

3sEnough · 12/10/2006 17:06

The slight 'burning sensation' as the head crowns. A touch more painful than that!!

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 12/10/2006 17:10

"Her book suggests that as far as exercise in preganncy is concerned, 'jogging' (never mind running) was completely banned. "

Blimey what would she make of Paula Radcliffe running a 10km race while 6 months pg then LOL.

Californifright · 12/10/2006 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleJem · 12/10/2006 17:44

3sEnough - Totally with you! Slight burning - more like having your fanny doused in petrol and then putting a match to it! I was especially annoyed by this with DD1 as I had read somewhere that "once your ready to push the hard part is over"!

evilanniedividedin2byalargeaxe · 12/10/2006 17:46

I must admit chortling at what I'm hoping is a very out of date NCT leaflet at the GPs that advised me to start 'allowing' dh to do simple housework so it won't be too much for him when baby is born!!

evilanniedividedin2byalargeaxe · 12/10/2006 17:46

Also love the 'imagine your body is opening up like a flower' type guff.

LittleJem · 12/10/2006 18:03

"Opening up like a flower"! - that has to be joke!

squishy · 12/10/2006 18:55

I found all the promises of heightened libido an utter lie!

And the free dentistry bit - they don't tell you you must have an NHS dentist to start with, or pay full whack!!!

cece · 12/10/2006 18:58

I had quite an old book my friend gave me. Each week was a new chapter...

The opening sentence always compared the growing fetus size to that of a fruit. For example it started off with small fruits like a grape and moved onto oranges and so on....

Hilarious

emzickle · 12/10/2006 18:59

Now your at 40 weeks, time to meet your baby!
BULLSHIT!

they lie...

LittleJem · 12/10/2006 19:01

Very overdue then?