Midwives: Who? When? How?

[Skeppers]

Morning!
Am currently 6 weeks along with #1. I called the GP surgery last week to find out what I needed to do in terms of contacting a midwife; I was under the impression that they would refer me on to someone, but they gave me a mobile number and told me (in not so many words) to sort it out myself, which I suppose is kind of a referral. That's fine...I'm a grown up...but I've now called/sent texts to the midwife a number of times and heard nothing back.
I realise it's early days but as a first-timer and being 36 with a higher BMI (30+...was planning on losing weight before conception but had no idea it would happen so quickly!) I'm not sure if I'd classify as 'high risk' and whether this would affect my being seen sooner/later? Not sure whether to back off until after Christmas or to keep perservering. When should the first scan be?
I think I'm really after some reassurance, as I've not told anyone other than my husband at the moment. Feel a little bit out of control of the situation! I've been taking folic acid for a good few months now and have started pregnancy multi-vits as soon as I found out, stopped drinking/eating 'risky' foods...I'm not having any symptoms (apart from burping and p*ssing constantly, and very occasional nausea)...should I have at least spoken to the MW by now? How does it all work? What will she say? Is there anything I should be doing that I'm not? Just feel a bit lost!
Thanks in advance.

you could ring the ante natal or community midwives office at the hospital. They will be able to tell you if your midwife is on annual leave/busy etc and how to book in.

Traditionally women didn't book in until 12 weeks, but now with early dating scans, they like you booked in earlier so that you can get a date for your scan.

Call your local hospital switchboard and ask for the community midwives office. Someone should be able to help there.

The only thing I can see that puts you in so called higher risk is the BMI. But still even with a higher BMI, you should be able to have regular community midwife appointment just with a couple of hospital appointments, usually for gestational diabetes and an anaesthetist referral.

I left midwifery about 4-5 years ago now but in terms of appointments and booking in I can't see that it would have changed that much.

just go on the hospital web site, most of them have maternity self-refer form which you can fill out, no need to go though the GP (who will not do anything anyway).
When I did my form it took about 1 week to hear from them but then they gave me appt for next day.
Chances are they probably won't see you until week 10.

I was also anxious as I am 37, first child but did not get the reassurance I was looking for from GP nor midwife. I calmed down until I booked a private scan at 10 weeks because I just really needed to know and could not wait until NHS forst scan (in my case it was in week 15.)

My midwife only took my urine, blood, and blood pressure, but that did not help me to know if the aby is really there and OK.

Having scan is very much the only way to know, but make sure you book it at the time when heartbeat can be already detected. (I think after week 8).

In meantime keep healthy pregnancy diet as you said you do and take vitamins, especially folic acid and Vitamin D.

It differs by area but generally booking in is at about 8 weeks and first scan at 12. I was given an initial appointment the week after I phoned GP (so about 7 weeks) which was just form filling.

I think it must be different in different areas then, certainly in North and Mid Essex you see your GP first say 6/7/8 weeks and they fill in a form to refer you to the hospital / midwifes.

First time I self referred on my chosen hospital's website. They do have an online referral form which I filled in. It took a couple of weeks to hear back from them and I think they originally booked my first appointment when I would have been 10 weeks.
Meantime I had to pay for a private scan.

I think my gp advised me to do it myself, he said that it would have been the same thing if they were to do it for me. At least I got to choose the hospital this way.
Good luck!

I had my first midwife appointment this morning at 10+6 which I believe is fairly normal so don't worry about it being too late. I think they're typically done at around 10 weeks. Maybe call your GP back and tell them you can't get through?

I HAD to see gp to get referred. maybe you could try an appt with GP? Especially if you have concerns. Xx

Think different areas vary. Here no direct contact with midwives - they have an office number which is only staffed one hour a day. Rest of time leave a message and someone will ring you ( nightmare when in work and cannot answer phone for me!!)

Here the administrative booking appointment is around 8-9 weeks so guess after Christmas for you?

Do not think your age puts you at high risk. I am older and not high risk for age. Weight wise it also varies. Here you get to a consultant once and under midwife care rest of time. And consultant appointment is only to discuss any health related issues caused by obesity - which most people do not have. It is short and usually much later on in pregnancy when pregnancy is viable ( ie baby is viable) and hopefully will reassure you that your weight is not an issue.

Pregnant women can do slimming world and still eat healthily and lose weight carefully if you choose to.

Oh and first midwife appointment is:
Form filling - about health etc
A weigh and blood test.
Admin.

They do nothing to check you are pregnant and nothing to examine you otherwise here. It is to get you in system for scan etc. next appointment is 16 weeks then 24 weeks - those ones are after viability scan and feel more like normal midwife appointments which I expected at 12 weeks but obviously did not get.

Thanks everyone. I realise that the first appointment is all about form-filling, etc. but at least then I'd be reassured that I was 'on the books', if you see what I mean!?

I had a look on the websites of the 2 hospitals nearest to me and neither of them had an online self-referral form. Pants. I'm based in the Southampton/Portsmouth area if anyone knows any different?

I think I'll leave it until after Christmas and try the midwife again. I'll be 9 weeks by then, which sounds a bit more sensible.

Re: the 'high risk' thing, again I'm just going by what I've heard anecdotally, however I'm not overly concerned about my BMI/weight; I was worried a few years back when I needed to have an operation that I wouldn't be able to because of my weight (you hear these things) and the doctor basically told me not to be ridiculous, she said it's 'obvious' when someone is too overweight to have surgery and she could tell I don't fall into that category just by looking at me, despite my BMI, plus I eat well and have an active lifestyle, perfect blood pressure and no weight-related illnesses...I just find it really hard to lose weight. I don't seem to gain it either though, just hover around the same weight- guess this is just the way I'm meant to be! I am 5'11" and have size 9 feet though so don't think I'm ever going to be dainty. I'm not having any adverse symptoms, bleeding/cramps, etc. so hopefully everything is going to plan. I honestly think that cutting out the booze will actually make me lose some weight initially, like someone said, as it's always been my main source of empty calories (although it's pissing me off no end that I'm going to be upduffed over Xmas; the one time of year when you can drink with impunity...)

Thanks again for the advice. I don't think I'll be able to relax properly until I have my first scan done (eventually) but that's probably the same for everyone.

Skeppers, I am in the Southampton hospital area and currently 9 weeks with first baby. I am exactly like you in that I had expected to be contacted by now - especially given christmas and new year will delay things. I went to my Gp at 4 weeks and I called last week at 8 weeks as I had not been contacted. They said I had been referred and will be contacted soon. Called GP again yesterday and was given midwifes number to leave a message. I have done all I can now so just going to sit back and wait and let the little raspberry grow. I do have a private scan booked for this weekend (we want to tell our families when we see them at Christmas) though which may be why I am relaxed.

Cheers BabySalt; looks like it may just be the service in this area then, maybe there's a midwife shortage? The private scan is a good idea; although this time of year we're a bit strapped for cash (who isn't!?). Maybe I'll book one in for January once I'm past the 9 weeks mark. Who did you book yours with (if you don't mind me asking)?

I haven't told ANYONE apart from my husband about the pregnancy, don't want to tempt fate- it'll be first grandchild for my parents so know that they will go ABSOLUTELY MENTAL (tears, snot, the works) and I want to check everything is a-OK before getting their hopes up. But it's also annoying not having anyone in-the-know to discuss these things with...my sister is actually doing a midwifery Access course at the moment and she's starting Uni next Sept to train as a MW so I know I could probably get some good advice from her, but don't want to tell anyone yet! It's frustrating. And I'm naturally very impatient at the best of times...

We have gone with baby bond in Bedford Place Southampton. Mostly as its walking distance from our house. The website seemed very informative with lots of good reviews so hopefully it will be a fun experience. It's costing us £99 for the scan (they do offer cheaper ten min appointments for reassurance) but husband and I have decided it's worth it so we can share our news. It will be the first grandchild in both our families too so expecting a similar reaction. We are just cutting down on presents for everyone this year, just something small and thoughtful. I'm sure once we tell them all on Xmas eve (our current plan) they will all understand. I'm growing them a present!

I have a scan at baby bond Southampton today! Our doctors insisted we see them and then they faxed referral to midwife at princess Anne, I got phone call from them the next day and booking in appt on 30th.

Augustwedding how far along are you? If you're further along maybe they are waiting to get in contact. That seems very efficient although I have never heard of a GP insisting on a private scan?

Oh no we decided to get private scan, just because I was anxious! Saw a little heartbeat :)

I'm 7+3, due aug 2nd

But doc did referral and I got phone call next day from midwife for appt.