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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Baby girls- ears piercing

63 replies

Zahrah5 · 05/12/2014 12:16

what is the usual practice of ears piercing for newborn girls in UK? (Im new to UK).

Do you guys mostly pierce their ears as newborns or later? Is this available in the hospital right after birth? Or where do you get it done?

My mom is planning to buy her earrings and told me that, I myself would have never even tought of that.

I am not sure if I am even liking the idea and look of newborn with earrings but before I decide would like to know what the options and opinions are.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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GotToBeInItToWinIt · 05/12/2014 12:17

It is not commonly done in the UK as a newborn, as far as I know most people like to wait until their daughter is old enough to make a decision about it themselves. I personally see no need whatsoever to pierce a baby's ears. You are likely to get some strong views both ways on this thread .

DramaAlpaca · 05/12/2014 12:24

My understanding is that the majority of people in the UK wait until their daughters are old enough to decide for themselves whether to have their ears pierced.

It is definitely not offered in the hospital after birth.

Personally I hate seeing babies and young children with earrings, but that's just my opinion.

This tends to be quite an emotive subject on MN and people have very strong opinions about it.

Heels99 · 05/12/2014 12:26

Yes why isn't new born ear piercing available on the nhs????

I love this thread already

FrauHelgaMissMarpleandaChuckle · 05/12/2014 12:26

I've never heard of anyone piercing a newborn's ears before they leave the hospital

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 05/12/2014 12:28

My belief is that no medically unnecessary body modifications until child is old enough to decide for their self.

Funkytown · 05/12/2014 12:29

if you do decide to pierce you babys ears many places refuse until they have had their jabs

marne2 · 05/12/2014 12:30

I think in a lot of countries and cultures it is common practice to get a newborns ears pierced, so don't jump on the poor woman.

It's not common practice here and I think it's quite hard now to find someone that will do it so no chance of getting it done in hospital. I wouldn't do it personally ,my dd is 10 and I'm still too scared to get them done .

Dogsmom · 05/12/2014 12:30

You would be very frowned upon, I don't know any babies with pierced ears and wouldn't think much of the Mum who would put an baby through such an unnecessary procedure.

As a previous poster said people tend to wait until the child is old enough to understand and want it done.

Rumplestrumpet · 05/12/2014 12:32

I remember the episode in Friends when Rachel's sister got her daughter's ears pierced without consulting her - it was just a comedy programme, but I recall the conversations it sparked with friends...

Dare I be the one to say it, but I think this is often seen as a class issue in the UK. I know "middle class mums" who would put it almost on a par with FGM and other forms of child abuse, while I have "working class" friends (such terrible terms, I know) who see it as an automatic thing to do, and a way of being sure their daughter won't be mistaken for a boy.

I personally despise it (but that doesn't necessarily say anything about my class!!). I have family from the Middle East and intend to make it absolutely clear that no part of my child will be pierced until he/she is a rebellious teenager. I know it doesn't really do any actual harm, so perhaps I'm being a snob, but as the mum I get the final say!

SavoyCabbage · 05/12/2014 12:33

Between primary school and high school is a good time. Having said that my dd is eleven and there is no way that she's responsible enough to look after pierced ears. Not that she's ever mentioned it!

Rumplestrumpet · 05/12/2014 12:33

(sorry, my Mid East point didn't make sense as I had meant to say: Outside the UK I know it is more cultural, and many parts of the world, including the Middle East, take it as standard practice)

Original poster

Zahrah5 · 05/12/2014 12:34

FrauHelga I had my ears pierced as newborn, it was/is common practice in a country where I was born and the earring are typical birth gift.
But Iived overseas for too long so i understand there are other views and practices. Until I moved overseas at 24y old I have never encountered a woman with no earrings.

I need to say it never bothered me and the holes are much better "quality" than third hole I had done as teenager, that one was always giving me problems, was hard to put earring in and eventually closed out.

Definitelly want her to have ears pierces at some point in her life.

OP posts:

wawabear · 05/12/2014 12:39

A lady I know has had her baby girl's ears pierced and whilst I agree with personal choice, I just don't think it looks very nice. Babies and children should be left natural for as long as possible, there will be enough pressure on them to grow up too quickly later in life - in my opinion.

Ear piercing does come with some pain, however small, and I think it's one thing a baby can live without when they are going through growth spurts, risk of infection etc.

I am a first time mum (currently preggers) but I can already anticipate the emotions that taking a baby for vaccinations will conjure up, handing my baby to someone to put an unnecessary hole in their ears would tip me over the edge.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 05/12/2014 13:39

Why do you definitely want her to have them done at some point in her life? Isn't it up to her? They're not a necessity! I have a 1 year old and I couldn't care less if she wants them doing or not.

Original poster

Zahrah5 · 05/12/2014 13:59

GotToBeIn

just feel its a girly and womanly thing and feel she migh regret she can't have earrings. and dont think is as invasive or mutilating as people perceive.

I would like to find a compromise
dont offend my mom or hurt her feelings, even if she is pretty open-minded
but do not want to do something like happened to my husbad who got circumcised in his teenage years with no anesthetic and remembers the entire act and weeks of horrible healing and always speaks about it like the worst horror of his life. This is commonly being done to newborns (not in my culture) and deemed acceptable and parents also do not wait for their son's decision, which I think is even more invasive than holes, as you can let these grow back in. Should he had it done as baby he would not have a trauma, but it is just their comming of age thing.

OP posts:

TranmereRover · 05/12/2014 14:04

not having her ears pierced at birth doesn't not mean she will never be able to have earrings & therefore be a source of regret later in life.

financialwizard · 05/12/2014 14:06

Culturally it is not the done thing in the UK. Normally it is a 'wait until the girl is ready' thing.

I appreciate you may live, or have lived somewhere where the culture is to pierce a babies ears (Cyprus they do for instance).

SnowSpot · 05/12/2014 14:07

I live in a country now where it is almost an immediate thing to pierce a child's ears (Catholic country), so the shock has worn off that people do this to a child.
I do remember finding it a bit of an abomination when I lived in the UK that people would inflict it on a baby, just because it is unnecessary pain/potential of infection/potential for it to be ripped out etc.

Equally, I guess if you really like the idea then make sure you get it done at a really reputable place and have good quality earrings.

Personally, I felt that my DDs body was her own, so that she should decide when and whether she wanted earrings and still think that is the sensible way forwards. If she'd wanted them at a young age and would have been prepared to sit still I would have let her have them done far younger than I would have liked.

ilovepowerhoop · 05/12/2014 14:07

she could get her ears done at any age and even as an adult if she chooses. My dd is 11 and doesnt have hers done although I wouldnt be against it if she wanted it done

ILiveOnABuildsite · 05/12/2014 14:14

Op like you I had my ears pierced as a newborn, it's very common practice (or at least was 30 years ago I don't know about now) were I was born. I've had a dd here in the uk in 2011 and we haven't had her ears pierced because it wouldn't really be culturally acceptable here. My aunt (from my home country) did ask if her ears were pierced and could she buy her some earrings. She was shocked that we would wait until dd started secondary school to offer ear piercing to her. I have only met one other little girl same age as dd (toddler) with pierced ears but she is from the Philippines and I just assumed it was a cultural thing for them as well. I didn't judge and I never would because little girls with pierced ears is normal to me but I know others might judge me and my dd for it. Also I didn't want to deprived dd of the excitement of getting her ears pierced later as my mil told me that was one of the highlight of her teen years so I assumed it was like a rite of passage or something when girls become old enough. Might be reading too much into it!

Rumplestrumpet · 05/12/2014 14:20

I think you're right Ilive - I remember nagging my parents and being allowed to do it when I was 11, just before going to secondary school. It was really exciting and I felt very grown up.

Also, unlike circumcision, ear piercing doesn't get any more painful as you get older, so there isn't really a "benefit" as such in getting it done as a baby.

eastcoastmum2014 · 05/12/2014 14:32

My little girl will have them done when/if she wants them done (I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant). I didn't have mine done until I was about 15, and since then I have had 13 piercings in various places but its a personal decision... I couldn't care less what she looks like I just think its scary for a young child to have something shoved through their ears when they don't understand why its happening! That's just my personal opinion!

Jackiebrambles · 05/12/2014 14:38

There is no issue with waiting, I would let your little girl choose when she wants to have them done.

I had mine done when I was 14 or 15 I think, I begged my mum to let me at that point!!

gamerchick · 05/12/2014 14:39

It's got it all this thread

How about yanno bucking tradition and like not poke holes in your baby and inflict pain for no reason at all.

Fairywhitebear · 05/12/2014 14:43

Oh god, please don't

It looks bloody awful on a baby and I'm afraid I'm sure I'm not the only person who would judge.

Why on earth would you want to inflict unnecessary pain on a baby??! So they can look like a girl?? Bizarre.

Aside from anything else, she won't be allowed to wear them at primary school anyway (and some secondary schools) for health & safety reasons. Why oh why give the poor girl the stress?

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