Love him dearly but how on earth is he going to look after us?

[pippinleaf]

I had this vague hope that my wonderful husband might be able to take on more of the domestic reins in the time after the baby arrives for a while. Tonight I'm in agony with rib pain so he goes to get us chinese takeaway. He forgot my main so I ended up with noodles, no sauce or anything. I can't share his as I'm veggie and he's not.

So, because plain noodles are too dry to be in any way appetising, he gets a fish pie out of the fridge to cook for me. After waiting half an hour it turns out he put his cottage pie in the oven by mistake. So now he's got two dinners and I've still got none.

Sigh. He looks so dejected I can't be angry with him.

Please reassure me that men suddenly become useful once they're really needed?

I'm single right now. Last DP did pretty much what i did. We didnt have assigned jobs. Sometimes i'd cut the grass, sometimes he would. It just depended who got to it first. We decorated together (though disagreed on decor) cooking was a joint effort, same with grocery shopping, we had separate cars so took care of our own but if either of us was checking oil/water/tyres on or washing our own we'd do the other. I dont think there were any jobs we would consider to be the other person's. you see something needing done so you do it. i'd feel pretty stupid going to someone else in my own house to tell them the bin was full The couples i am closest to seem to work this way too.

Tondelayo, after that post I worship you like a God, cock and balls or not!
It's true that women are just expected to be able to be competent at work AND be able to manage simple tasks, like ordering a take away.
OP, I don't get why your husband didn't go straight back out and get your food? That's what I would do if I forgot my mates food let alone my pregnant wifes !

Oh well if he was trying...

pippen my dear, it's all lighthearted and lovely (ish) now, but wait till you've got a newborn clamped to your bleeding nipples, no sleep for three days straight...and your DH comes back from the Chinese with his own dinner and some plain noodles for you. I can guarantee you won't find it endearing... I fear he will be in for quite a shock

I think that the problem is that, before that baby leaves your body, you are fundamentally always free to 'go with the flow' and sort out problems yourself. Supper is a bit late? Whatever. At the back of your mind you know that you can just pop out, drive somewhere, get something. You are sorted out and the relationship status quo is maintained.

Not quite so funny when your toddler is tetchy with hunger and your DH fails to come back from the supermarket with anything they can eat - that would be the equivalent of your situation tonight.

OP, it might be part of his charm now but it will get old. My DH is like that too and it drives me to distraction. I cannot rely on him to remember to do things at all which means that in addition to managing my own life and who needs to be where I also need to be checking up on whether he has done what he has supposed to. It is exhausting and fucking annoying at this point.

I don't think you will feel so light-hearted the day he doesn't come home from work at the previously agreed time when you have plans and no alternate childcare...