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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Booking in appt - DH too?

29 replies

albertgirl · 16/09/2014 13:28

Hello ladies,
Bit of a stupid question really... I have my booking-in appt on Fri (I'll be 12+3) and DH and I are wondering if he should come with me or not? I had IVF so have had a scan at 8 weeks, and I know we won't have a scan on Fri, so it hardly seems worth his while if it's just a list of questions about my medical history... Any opinions would be gratefully received!!

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squitchey · 16/09/2014 13:31

Mine didn't come - it really was just a list of questions about medical history and some paperwork.

flingingmelon · 16/09/2014 13:35

Without wanting to sound like a total hippy, if he's interested enough to come it might be a nice experience for him? He'll get chance to ask questions too if he has any?

Pushonregardless · 16/09/2014 14:17

Mine came with me. There are quite a lot of questions and info given out so I find it useful to have a second pair of ears, especially as I forget things immediately. There were also questions about the health history on his side of the family which he answered. Plus, it's just lovely and exciting to do together, especially if you've had help conceiving (we did too).

DecaffTastesWeird · 16/09/2014 14:42

Congratulations on the pregnancy!

My DH didn't come to the booking in appointment, but my MW said lots of husbands/partners do.

Personally, I didn't find mine all that interesting tbh as it was just a lot of questions and a few blood tests. Subsequent MW appointments have been more exciting as we get to hear the baby's heartbeat and things which is great. My DH has come to all of those appointments so far.

KateTheHuman · 16/09/2014 14:46

My DH hasn't been to any of my midwife appointments. Didn't see the point of him sitting there while they test my urine and blood pressure haha. We have a doppler at home so if he wants to listen to heartbeat he can.

Gudgyx · 16/09/2014 14:59

Mine didnt come either - I know more about his family and his medical history than he does, so there wasnt much point. Plus he has to take holidays for my appointments, and I'd rather he kept them for when baby is here. He's coming to the scans though, he gets time off for that, and we have just ordered a doppler too so he can hear baby's heartbeat whenever he wants.

It was kinda boring anyway tbh.

GailLondon · 16/09/2014 15:03

Its not essential for him to come at all! But if he wants to, then why not.

weeblueberry · 16/09/2014 15:11

The first pregnancy there was a lot of medical history questions about his side of the family that I wouldn't have known unless he'd been there. So I was glad he was! He mentioned his dad had diabetes and I was like

squizita · 16/09/2014 15:33

Mine came to meet me but clinic was running a bit late and he was in time for the appointment. They are not needed but the MW was quite happy - she has to fill in stuff about support from family so she could ask him those questions herself (though as I understand it, they're equally happy for your word that your DH is happy and knows what support is useful).

Roseylee20 · 16/09/2014 15:38

Hi everyone. Albertgirl, as you can see everyone's different. In my case, he didn't come with me for the booking appt. He was working and it didn't bother me in the slightest. Like the others have said, it's a case of a blood test, questions and other general things. Saying that, if he had of come with me, that wouldn't of bothered me either! It's personal preference really! I also went for my early scan on my own, but only because I'm really not fussed about being on my own, I'm quite independent. But of course I love the company of my other half, so he will 100% be coming to my 12 week scan with me that's as soon as we get the letter through with the date, anyway! Good luck x

ohthegoats · 16/09/2014 15:40

Mine didn't come. If he'd come to all the midwife and consultant appointments he'd have no holiday left for the rest of this year!!

TinyMonkey · 16/09/2014 15:41

Nope, he comes to scans, but not the midwife/consultant stuff. I just asked him if he knew of any health issues on his side of the family in advance. It was and hour and a half and pretty routine tbh, didn't see the point of inflicting it on both of us.

HorraceTheOtter · 16/09/2014 15:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Topsyloulou · 16/09/2014 17:03

My DP hasn't been to any midwife appointments as it would mean taking holiday and apart from the first one I'm only ever in there 5 minutes so it seems like a waste of holiday that he can spend with the baby. He's been to every scan, nct class & nct meet up tho.

ZenNudist · 16/09/2014 18:11

I took dh to booking in for ds1 but only because it was same day as my first scan. I was glad of him there as they take a lot of blood and I'm phobic so it helped to have him there. I didn't take him to ds2 booking in but did bloods separately where I did take him and I duly fainted and it was horrible!

weebairn · 16/09/2014 18:20

Mine came to booking appt with DC1 cause he was so excited! It was obviously very boring and he's never come to an appt since

He comes to all the main scans.

caravela · 16/09/2014 18:56

I didn't ask mine to come to booking in because I thought it would be boring for him - and it would have been, because it was just 40 minutes of being asked about my medical history, living situation etc. There were very few questions about his family's medical history, it was nearly all about my side. So I'd say there's no particular need for him to come, and you might feel afterwards that it was a waste of time off work that he could have used later on instead. But if he wants to come and thinks it will make him feel involved in the pregnancy or be bonding for you as a couple, then why not? Or if you would like him to be there with you and think you'll find it supportive, then ask him to come.

From the 16 week appointment onwards they listen for the baby's heartbeat, and that's really nice to share with your DP, so if he is interested in coming to midwife/doctor appointments I would personally advise saving the time off for that. I persuaded my DP to come to the 16 week appointment, and he was really glad I did because he found hearing the heartbeat very moving.

Original poster

albertgirl · 17/09/2014 11:48

Thanks, everyone, that's really helpful. I think I'll tell him not to bother unless he really wants to come - I know his family medical history pretty well, and I'm the one with the good memory (even pregnant it's better than his!) so I don't think he'd be much help in that respect. He came to the scan at 8 weeks, so he's already seen the heartbeat and proof that there really is a baby in there!

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KatoPotato · 17/09/2014 11:52

When I was pg my DH came with me to all appointments, including booking in - but at my hospital they wouldn't let partners in for the first 5 mins so you could disclose anything by yourself? DV or previous pg's I assume.

He was great company and we'd have a good giggle together during the loooong waiting times, I hope he can come again this time round but he's much busier work-wise then he was 5 years ago!

PeppermintInfusion · 17/09/2014 11:54

My booking in appt had a quick scan, so DH came to see that but apart for the scan he had to sit outside the whole time while they asked Qs, took bloods etc

BilboTheAlmighty · 17/09/2014 13:27

My DH came with me, mainly because he was just as lost as I was and he wanted to make sure he was as involved as possible. That included the administrative side of things. As it happened, he had a lot of questions for the midwife! Sometimes I tend to forget it is a brand new, scary experience for him too!

FTRsGotAShinyNewNN · 19/09/2014 20:33

My DH did come to my booking appt with me also 12wk scan and 16 wk ante natal appt, he's in the armed forces and we knew he'd be away for most of the rest of the pregnancy so it was his way of being involved.

KittenOverlord · 19/09/2014 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

albertgirl · 19/09/2014 21:33

Well, in the end I told him what everyone on here had said and suggested that it would probably be a waste of his time, and that's what we decided to to do. I think we made the right decision - there was nothing interesting for him, just lots of questions about me! And a couple about his family, but I knew those. I didn't even have any blood or wee tests done, just blood pressure and weight, which I found a bit weird. I'm now 12+3 and still haven't had any hormone levels checked or anything, which seems really surprising to me!

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MultipleMama · 20/09/2014 16:26

DH tries to come to all my appointments and I try to have scans in the late evening so he doesn't miss them due to work and if he can't make it, I video call him so he can hear/see the scan. He attempts to come to even the boring ones because he wants to be involved and I always prefer him there as my support :)

Maybe ask at your next appointment about your levels etc if you're worried. Oh and congrats

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